Whatever You Do, Don't Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide »

Whatever You Do, Don’t Run is a hilarious collection of true tales from top ­safari guide Peter Allison. In a place where the wrong behavior could get you eaten, Allison has survived face-to-face encounters with big cats, angry ­elephants, and the world’s most unpredictable animals—herds of untamed tourists and foolhardy guides whose outrageous antics sometimes make them even more dangerous than a pride of hungry lions!

Join Allison as he faces down charging lions—twice; searches for a drunk, half-naked tourist who happens to be a member of the British royal family; drives a Land Rover full of tourists into a lagoon full of hippos; and adopts the most ­vicious animal in Africa as his “pet.” Full of lively humor and a genuine love and respect for Botswana and its rich wildlife, Whatever You Do, Don’t Run takes you to where the wild things are and introduces you to a place where every day is a new adventure!

 

In 1994 Peter Allison set off for a year-long stay in Africa. More than a dozen years and hundreds of adventures later, he’s still leading safaris and collecting stories. Allison’s safaris have been ­featured in National Geographic, Condé Nast Traveler, and on television programs such as Jack Hanna’s Animal Adventures.

Acknowledgments     x
Introduction     xi
Whatever You Do, Don't Run     1
The Lesson     7
How I Got My Name     11
The Great Mouse Plague     17
Deliverance     29
Buffalo School     33
Learning to Walk Again     37
Princesses and Jacks     45
Pets     53
The Drowning     69
The Chase     87
The World's Worst Bathroom     95
Scars     97
Khama: A Love Story     105
Bean Goes Back to Nature     115
Mona Lisa     119
Bird Nerds     123
The Fool and the Snake     135
Lost     141
The Conversation     157
A Guide Dies     161
A Night in the Madgkadigkadi     173
Ya-ya and Tsetse     189
A Friend in Hand     195
Bad Actors     207
Bale and the Snake     217
Encounters with Salvador     225
Big Mistake     239
Epilogue     245
About the Author     247