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Whatever You Do, Don't Run: True Tales Of A Botswana Safari Guide Paperback – October 1, 2007

by Peter Allison (Author)
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 4,006 ratings
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Whatever You Do, Don't Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide
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A hilarious, highly original collection of essays based on the Botswana truism: “only food runs!”

In the tradition of Bill Bryson, a new writer brings us the lively adventures and biting wit of an African safari guide. Peter Allison gives us the guide’s-eye view of living in the bush, confronting the world’s fiercest terrain of wild animals and, most challenging of all, managing herds of gaping tourists. Passionate for the animals of the Kalahari, Allison works as a top safari guide in the wildlife-rich Okavango Delta. As he serves the whims of his wealthy clients, he often has to stop the impulse to run as far away from them as he can, as these tourists are sometimes more dangerous than a pride of lions.
No one could make up these outrageous-but-true tales: the young woman who rejected the recommended safari-friendly khaki to wear a more “fashionable” hot pink ensemble; the lost tourist who happened to be drunk, half-naked, and a member of the British royal family; establishing a real friendship with the continent’s most vicious animal; the Japanese tourist who requested a repeat performance of Allison’s being charged by a lion so he could videotape it; and spending a crazy night in the wild after blowing a tire on a tour bus, revealing that Allison has as much good-natured scorn for himself.
The author’s humor is exceeded only by his love and respect for the animals, and his goal is to limit any negative exposure to humans by planning trips that are minimally invasive—unfortunately it doesn’t always work out that way!


Peter Allison is originally from Sydney, Australia. His safaris have been featured in National Geographic, Conde Nast Traveler, and on television programs such as Jack Hanna’s Animal Adventures. He travels frequently to speaking appearances, and splits most of his time between Botswana, Sydney, and San Francisco.
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  1. Print length
    264 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Lyons Press
  4. Publication date
    October 1, 2007
  5. Dimensions
    5.25 x 0.75 x 8 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0762745657
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0762745654
  8. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

At age 19, Australian-born Allison headed to Africa for challenge and adventure, planning to stay no more than a year; having found work as a safari guide, he's still there some 13 years later. In this fun, fearless memoir, Allison shares his experiences taking "guests" through the African wilderness, trips that often don't go quite as planned-due especially to the unpredictability of the animals around them. Allison is a skilled, funny and vibrant storyteller, dishing arcane bits of wisdom like an expatriate Alligator Hunter: "I understand a little bit of monkey language, and 'kwe' is a sound I listened for. It was an alarm... full blown monkey conniptions were reserved for leopards." A hilarious chapter recounting a troubled thousand mile trek through the Kalahari Desert finds Allison trying to wave down a passing truck in the middle of the night: "I realized that the driver would have seen what looked like a very animated sage bush with pasty white hands growing from it... he'd probably go straight to a witch doctor... and ask if there was a curse on him." Along the way, Allison examines his fellow guides, the struggle with exhaustion, getting lost and the temptation to make frequently visiting animals into pets, as well as some poignant asides on love and death.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"Allison's infectious enthusiasm for both the African bush and his job showing its wonders to tourists is readily apparent." --Booklist

― Booklist

"His misadventures make Whatever You Do, Don't Run an absorbing read. . . . The material is rich, and Allison is a gifted storyteller. And the only thing stranger than African fiction is African truth." --National Geographic Adventure

― National Geographic Adventure Magazine

"After reading this entrancing memoir, an African safari may move to No. 1 on your travel wish list. The only catch is you'll want the author as your guide." --Chicago Sun-Times

― Chicago Sun Times

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Lyons Press; First Edition (October 1, 2007)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 264 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0762745657
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0762745654
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 0.705 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.25 x 0.75 x 8 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 4,006 ratings

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  1. Peter Allison

    Peter Allison

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    Hello! I'm a safari guide* who lived for many years in some of Africa's finest wild areas. This was an unlikely career as I grew up in the most sedate parts of Sydney and in my youth rarely encountered anything more dangerous and wild than a parrot. Travels have also taken me in search of South America's wild places, and where my record of poor decision making led me to live naked with a tribe famous for killing outsiders, as well as spending a month tied to a puma. The stories I write are the sort you would hear around a campfire, or in some seedy backpacker's lodge in Quito.

    I post most regularly here: https://www.facebook.com/Peter-Allison-5686359511

    * Some foamy mouthed critics get very upset if they buy my books to discover that I was a photographic safari guide and not a hunting one. For anyone that wants stories about someone flying halfway around the world to kill an animal that wasn't bothering them may I suggest the self-help section instead?

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  2. Peter Allison

    Peter Allison

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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
4,006 global ratings
Oh, I wish I were there again!
5 Stars
Oh, I wish I were there again!
Allison's description of life as a safari guide and his interaction with beast and man will put a smile on your face. While most of the book showcases Allison's sense of humor, I also enjoyed the chapters which showed his heart. His ability to poke fun at himself and others in good-humored fashion left me hoping that he will continue to share his journey in a sequel. As the owner of a travel agency, this will be a gift for all of my clients who travel to Africa. I have lots of fantastic images from my safari - [...] but Allison inspired images that I would never have imagined: the honey badger pet, the mouse plague, and Salvador, the elephant in labor. If you have been on a safari, this book will bring back memories; if you haven't, it will let you dream about what it will be like when you do go. Either way, you'll learn something about the animals that you didn't know before.
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Top reviews from the United States

Dr. Dave
5.0 out of 5 stars a fun and informative read
Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2024
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Peter, Allison is quite a character and, it turns out, an even better storyteller! His chapters describe the highs and lows of a safari guide’s life in Botswana. It’s an unexpected patchwork of grand, magnificent animals in the wild; in part the consequences of ignorance and foolishness of visitors in their space; in part unknown adventure, in part the poignant rules of the jungle, and how they play out for various animals species, lion, prides, elephant families. Always deeply respectful for the animals that we desire to observe and photograph.
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Jerrod Kowalski
4.0 out of 5 stars well written, easy to visualize the events
Reviewed in the United States on August 16, 2014
Verified Purchase
Peter's suggestion that guests were the main component of the stories is not entirely accurate. There was not much in the way of embarrassing events by guests. Most of the stories were about his experiences with animals and the descriptive method of his writing made this book easy to read but quite vivid. I have a much better appreciation for the experience i am about to have in Africa. I recommend this book.

Oct 2014 update
having been to Botswana now i can say this book is even more insightful. the stories are ok but the knowledge of how animals communicate is valuable. it was obvious when the elephants did the low rumble that signaled it was time to move and that identified the matriarch of the group. the alarm calls were easy to spot, tracking was easier. sure we had guides but it was nice to be able to know some of what they were about to say and participate in the conversation and ask good questions. i credit this book with that.

also worth noting that prior to our trip when i told my wife of these stops she quickly said i am not going to africa to see birds. i though i was sunk. on the contrary, the wetland experience is fantastic, not dusty (duh) and the birds are not what you might imaging if you are not a birder. they were graceful nd beautiful and spectacular. we n=both loved the birds and we saw plenty of other stuff in Botswana. elephants and hippos were everywhere, you could not escape them and in the delta you ken get right up to them, literally, in boats. Botswana was amazing. the river and the delta. if you go to Botswana do both. there is nothing like it on the savanna or even in the bush. unique.
25 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars enjoyable read
Reviewed in the United States on February 11, 2024
Verified Purchase
I picked this out to support my own Botswana safari adventure. I started it on the 15 hour plane ride there and finished 2 weeks after being home. It was a great prep, wonderful relaxer after long days of driving, but most of all a great reminder of the beautiful harmony I witnessed with my group in the Okavango Delta. All of the guides at our camp were local. Peter’s accounts align with what I saw and stories I was told. I would like to read another book like this from a local guide’s perspective.
One person found this helpful
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J. Villarrubia
5.0 out of 5 stars one of the best books I’ve read
Reviewed in the United States on January 29, 2024
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I love Peter’s energy and writing style! Got more than a few good chuckles and have added “devoting time to conservation efforts in my area” to my yearly goals.

I too, love being around animals, yet find myself constantly distracted by the demands of life to follow that dream. One of my greatest regrets is not taking up work with animals as a career, as they are beauty itself.
One person found this helpful
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Witchyme
4.0 out of 5 stars An insight into a safari not yet taken
Reviewed in the United States on April 15, 2024
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I can't imagine a desire to go to a place to watch one animal kill another much less hope to lead people to see such. That said, some still like to watch a bull fight or hope for a crash at a car race ~~ it's patently obvious that human animals have not risen very far above the barbaric practices of our ancestors.

We are, for sure, the worst of all animals.

The historical information was well documented and Peter described a part of this planet I hope to see through the lens of my camera ~~~ without bloodshed!
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Fishskigolf
5.0 out of 5 stars Botswana and the Okavango Delta
Reviewed in the United States on November 14, 2023
Verified Purchase
Great tales of animals in the wild….just like my trip to this area. He described everything with humor and realism. Very readable and enjoyable. It reminded me of my trip to Africa and wonder if I will return in another year.
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Navy Guy
3.0 out of 5 stars Good, but lacking insights
Reviewed in the United States on November 30, 2014
Verified Purchase
Hmm, I wanted to like it, but having to recommend a single African Safari book for a luggage constrained friend going on photo safari, this would be third and not a close third. Perhaps I just enjoy Capstick Hathaway's writing style more, but I also feel this book lacks some of the impressive insights into animal behavior i was hoping to glean as a photographer and wannabe big game hunter.
To be clear I would suggest this be on your list if you want to glean some insights into life in a remote hunt/photo camp, but "The Last Ivory Hunter: The Saga of Wally Johnson" and "Death in the Long Grass" might be better for the rucksack. The former for both historical perspective of safari in Africa and the sheer (and sometimes terrifying) adventure in that golden age and the latter as insight into animal predation methods. "Don't run" is more a biography, although well written and with a sense of humor, was not as immersive as I would have hoped.
8 people found this helpful
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TW
5.0 out of 5 stars Educational
Reviewed in the United States on February 1, 2024
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Good to read, especially if you are planning a trip to Africa.
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Top reviews from other countries

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Bryan
5.0 out of 5 stars A great read
Reviewed in Canada on October 20, 2022
Verified Purchase
Having just been on Safari to some of the places mentioned in the book, it is a reminder of the wonderful experiences we had. A great book
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Cauã
5.0 out of 5 stars Great stories about African bush
Reviewed in Brazil on April 6, 2022
Verified Purchase
Peter is a great story teller. Some of them will be in my memory for a long time. The tale from the Honey Badger was amazing. Peter really caught my attention and the final was so surprising. Felt bad about the babies squirrels but it was a good story. That one from Richard being attacked by the lioness let me breathless. The story about his friend Nick and cheetahs with her cubs was absolutely astonishing, I want so bad to see the pictures Peter took that day. These stories are making me feel nostalgic about my trip to South Africa. Peter made me want to go back to the bush as soon as possible. Great book if you like animals, african bush or just if you want to laugh sometimes.
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KaSmi
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 26, 2024
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Highly recommend this book great read, my order was handled promptly and efficiently, excellent service
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Gut
Reviewed in Germany on November 16, 2023
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Alles ok, danke
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Amazonian
5.0 out of 5 stars A must for all guides and Safari guests
Reviewed in India on August 27, 2020
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Being a guide myself, I could relate to every story Peter tells in this book!
It is fun and one can learn a lot from so many anecdotes that are honest and modest.
I’d say Peter, Whatever you do, don’t run from guiding and keep writing more.
One person found this helpful
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