The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss »

George A. Bonanno is professor of clinical psychology at Columbia University. His work has been featured in the New York Times and the Washington Post, and he has appeared on CNN and 20/20. He lives in New York City with his wife and two children.

A leading expert in emotions research establishes a bold new paradigm for understanding grief.

Publishers Weekly

He once helped debunk the theory of repressed memory; now this Columbia clinical psychology professor takes on the conventional wisdom about grieving. There's little evidence to support the existence of “stages of mourning” or the corollary that if the stages aren't followed completely, there's cause for alarm. What Bonanno does find is “a natural resilience” that guides us through the sadness of loss, and grief, rather than distracting us, actually causes the mind to focus; it also elicits the “compassion and concern” that humans are hard-wired to offer in response to another's suffering. Bonanno acknowledges that grief is sometimes extreme and requires treatment, much like post-traumatic stress disorder. But with this work, science and common sense come together in a thoughtful, kindhearted way; stories of loss go far beyond striking a familiar chord—they give us hope. As one mother who lost her daughter tells Bonanno, even years later she felt her daughter was like a “little ember, and if I need to, if I want to have Claire next to me, I blow on it, ever so gently, and it glows bright again.” (Oct.)

Ch. 1 The Worst Thing That Could Ever Happen 1

Ch. 2 A Bit of History 11

Ch. 3 Sadness and Laughter 25

Ch. 4 Resilience 45

Ch. 5 Whatever Gets You Through the Night 67

Ch. 6 Relief 83

Ch. 7 When Grief Takes Over 95

Ch. 8 Terror and Curiosity 113

Ch. 9 Between Was and Is and Will Be 131

Ch. 10 Imagining the Afterlife 145

Ch. 11 Chinese Bereavement Ritual 169

Ch. 12 Thriving in the Face of Adversity 195

Acknowledgments 205

Notes 207

Index 229