Letitia Baldrige's New Complete Guide to Executive Manners » (REV)

Letitia Baldrige's books on manners have sold over two million copies; her previous guide to executive manners sold over half a million copies worldwide and has had sixteen printings. This is her thirteenth book. In her diplomatic career she served in the American embassies in Paris and Rome; in the White House she was Jacqueline Kennedy's chief of staff. She has served as a marketing consultant to many major international corporations and holds three corporate directorships. She produces management training seminars on business behavior for major American companies and professional institutions and writes a weekly syndicated newspaper column and a monthly national magazine column. She is a regular on major network TV programs. Letitia Baldrige and her family live in Washington, D.C.

After sixteen printings in its first edition and two in this updated version, this bestseller remains America's most complete guide to the hidden asset that isn't taught in business schools — the personal behavior that can make you or break you in today's competitive workplace. Letitia Baldrige takes the reader from the first interview and first day at work through all the complex knowledge we need to maneuver through the ranks and rise to the top.

WHAT THIS BOOK REVEALS:

• The ten major problems at work that never existed before, but which everyone from trainee to CEO must learn to handle today

• The twenty-four hallmarks of those who "work smart" today

• Which behaviors accepted a short time ago may spell disaster today

• The new codes concerning dress...language...socializing with colleagues...behavior when traveling and at conferences or meetings

• What degree of informality is acceptable today — and with whom

• What you must know about the new manners relating to diversity...plurality...family values...sexual freedom...and substance abuse problems...about hiring and firing...and much more

• A total update on today's business entertaining, from lunch with a guest at your desk to planning parties for thousands

• Running meetings, from interoffice to international

• Corresponding in every form, from traditional to high-tech electronics...forms of address...Plus the hidden rituals of business life that a polished professional on the rise must learn to handle with poise and confidence

As life at work becomes increasingly pressured, everyone needs to know more about improving interpersonal relations.You'll learn exactly what to do, what to say, and how best to present yourself, from this extraordinary guide. Plus — it's good reading!

Contents

Acknowledgments

Author's Note

Why We Need a New Book on Business Manners

PART I

THE EXECUTIVE AT EASE

1 The Executive at Ease on the Job

BEING AT EASE ANYWHERE IN THE BUSINESS WORLD

Knowing When to Say "Please"

How Many Times a Day Should One Say "Please?"

Knowing How to Apologize

Knowing How to Say "Thank You"

Ways in Which to Say "Thank You" for Substantive Favors or Gifts

Compliments — The Best Way to Accept and Give Them

A Smart Manager Compliments His Staff

Compliment Your Peers

Compliments Are to Be Accepted, Not Rejected

If You're a Mean Person, Eventually You'll Get Caught Being Mean

When You're the New Kid on the Block

When You Have Moved from a Large to a Small Company

BEING AT EASE IN MEETING AND GREETING IN THE BUSINESS WORLD

What's in a Name?

The Art of Introducing People

When People Mis-Introduce You, Do You Correct Them?

Remembering Names Takes Practice

Using Nicknames in the Workplace

What's in a Handshake?

When Do You Shake Hands?

When Do You Not Shake Hands?

Points of Protocol in Handshaking

When You Have Clammy Hands

Hugging and Kissing in Greeting

BEING AT EASE IN MOVING AROUND

Going Through Doors

Going Through Swinging Doors

KEEPING YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR ABOUT YOUR GAFFES

2 The Executive at Ease with Staff, Peers, and Superiors

AN EXCELLENT MALE OR FEMALE MANAGER, WORKING SMART

AN INTELLIGENT MANAGER HELPS A NEW EMPLOYEE ADJUST

THE MANAGER'S STAFF AND PEERS

A GOOD MANAGER MAKES FRIENDS AT WORK

THE FIRST PERSON TO PROJECT THE COMPANY'S IMAGE: THE RECEPTIONIST

THE SYMBOL OF GOOD MANNERS AT WORK: THE ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT OR EXECUTIVESECRETARY

Change the Title and Upgrade the Job

How to Introduce Your Secretary

Having Your Secretary Run Personal Errands for You

Promote Your Secretary

THE YOUNG MANAGER AND HIS OLDER EMPLOYEES

YES, A WOMAN EXECUTIVE HAS SPECIAL NEEDS AND PROBLEMS — ALL OF THEM SOLVABLE

An Intelligent Woman Manager Relates to Her Male Colleagues

The Woman Executive Copes with Unwelcome Advances

When a Woman Manager Doesn't Need or Want a Certain Friend

When a Single Person Does Not Wish to Date Another Single Person Who Keeps Asking

A GOOD MANAGER DEALS WITH RATHER THAN AVOIDS EMPLOYEES' PERSONAL PROBLEMS

3 The Executive Receives, Visits, and Dines with Others

THE PROPER WELCOME MAT FOR YOUR BUSINESS CALLERS

How to Gracefully Get Someone to Leave Your Office

CUSTOMER TOURS

WHEN MANAGERS RECEIVE AND VISIT ONE ANOTHER

When You Are the One Receiving a Business Visitor

When You Are the One Making the Business Visit

ELEVATOR ETIQUETTE

THE EXECUTIVE AT EASE AT THE TABLE

When to Sit Down at the Table

Beginning the Meal

Napkins

Your Posture at Table

Control Your Nervous Habits

The Meal Is Served

First Course

Fish Course

Sorbet Course

The Entree

Salad and Cheese Course

Dessert

When You Are Served

When Salad Is a Separate Course Before Dessert

The Coffee Cup and Saucer

The Finger Bowl

Serving Yourself

Where Do You Leave Your Eating Utensils on the Plate?

When You Have Paused in Eating

When You Have Finished Eating a Course

Holding Your Flatware Properly

How to Eat with Chopsticks

Maneuvering Around Difficult-to-Eat Foods

When You're on a Diet, Make It a State Secret

Eating-at-Your-Desk Etiquette

4 The Executive at Ease When Traveling

THE POLITE TRAVELER

Manners Concerning Automobiles

The Obnoxious Airplane Traveler

CORPORATE JET ETIQUETTE

WHEN JUNIOR AND SENIOR EXECUTIVES TRAVEL TOGETHER

In the Limo

In an Executive's Own Car

CONVERSATION WHEN THE YOUNG EXECUTIVE IS ALONE WITH A SENIOR EXECUTIVE

YOUR MANNERS AT A HOTEL

Tipping at a First-Class, Big-City Hotel

Keeping Your Cool

A SMART WOMAN MANAGER KNOWS HOW TO TRAVEL SAFELY AND WELL

When a Woman Dines Alone in Public

When a Woman Does Business in Her Hotel Suite

SOME ADVICE TO INTERNATIONAL TRAVELERS

BEING AT EASE AT SPORTS AND AT PLAY WHEN AT MEETINGS, CONVENTIONS, OR COMPANY OUTINGS

Your Swimming Pool Manners

Sports Spectating

5 The Executive Faces Problems in Today's Working World Which Never Existed Before

A GOOD MANAGER DOES NOT USE SEXIST LANGUAGE

"Men," "Women," "Guys," and "Gals"

"Chairman," "Chairwoman," "Chairperson," "Chair-Whatever"

Terms of Endearment in the Office: A Definite Negative

Chivalry Isn't Dead, It's Just No Longer Gender-Based

What Was This Old-School Gallantry That Prevailed Until the 1970s?

SEXUAL HARASSMENT

Some Personal Observations

What Is Sexual Harassment?

Defensive Responses to Sexual Harassment

When You Decide to Report Him to Senior Management

Men Who Are Sexually Harassed

A GOOD MANAGER FACES UP TO SEX IN THE OFFICE TODAY

Dating Someone in the Office

Talking About Your Sex Life

Sex and Affairs in the Office

Showing Too Much Affection

When You Know There's a Female Boss-Male Employee Problem, Take It to Lunch

Homosexual Relationships

A GOOD MANAGER RECOGNIZES THE RIGHTS OF THE COMPANY'S DISABLED EMPLOYEES

MANAGING THE HIV-POSITIVE EMPLOYEE OR STAFFER

A GOOD MANAGER KNOWS HOW IMPORTANT FAMILY BENEFITS ARE TO EMPLOYEES TODAY

THE PREGNANT WOMAN MANAGER

Hooray for the Baby!

Tips to the Pregnant Executive's Co-Workers

The Unmarried Pregnant Woman

Announcing It to the Office When You Adopt

Infant Feeding and Breast-Feeding in the Office

DIVERSITY, PLURALISM, AND RACISM IN THE WORKPLACE

People Have Different Preferences in How They're Referred To

Derisive Terms for People of a Specific Race, Gender, or Creed

The Managerial Responsibility

Apologizing for a Racial Slur

A Good Manager Cares About Ethics

"The Unethical" at Work, at Play, at Home

Teaching Ethics Begins in Childhood

The Ethics of Reporting Someone for a Crime

ADDICTION AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE

GUIDELINES FOR THE NEW SELF-MANAGERS INCREASINGLY WORKING AT HOME TODAY

Affirmative Actions for the Entrepreneur with a Home Office

Keep Up Your Professional Look

Don't Become Out of Touch with the Real World Outside the Home

6 When the Executive Hires or Fires — Or Is in the Reverse Situation

PRESENTING YOURSELF FOR AN INTERVIEW

WHEN YOU HAVE TO LET SOMEONE GO FOR ECONOMIC REASONS

WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN THE ONE LET GO

HUNTING FOR A NEW JOB WHILE YOU ARE STILL EMPLOYED

AS YOU TAKE YOUR LEAVE

PART Il

THE PERSON-TO-PERSON SIDE OF BUSINESS LIFE

7 Executive Communications

WHEN YOU SPEAK

Your Voice: How You Sound to the Outside World

The Relationship Between Voice and Vocabulary

Speaking in Public

Getting Help from Professionals

THE APT OF CONVERSATION

Listening Is an Art

You Are Listening Well When...

Good Body Language Is Part of Good Conversation

Sharpening Conversation Skills

Good Conversationalists...

When You Can't Think of Anything to Say

How to Make Small Talk

Conversational Subjects to Avoid

Talking in Business-Social Situations

The Cocktail Party

The Tradition of Switching Conversation Partners at Large Dinners or Lunches

The Host Is in Charge of the Conversation at His or Her Corporate Party Table

TELEPHONE MANNERS

Management Should Take an Interest in What the Public Hears When Calling the Company

How to Answer Your Telephone

How You Should Answer Your Telephone

How Your Secretary Should Answer Your Telephone

How to Advise People Who Answer Your Office Telephones

How to Take and Leave Messages

When Leaving Messages

Your Own Executive Telephone Manners

How to End Your Telephone Conversations

Other Telephone Techniques Managers Should Know

The Right Way for a Secretary to Announce Her Boss' Calls

When You Participate in a Conference Call

Putting People on Hold

Call-Waiting

For People Who Work at Home

Answering Machines

Voice Mail

Handling Calls of Complaint

When You Have Bad News to Impart

Dealing with an Answering Service

ELECTRONIC MANNERS

Cellular Phones

Laptop Computers

Beepers

Faxes

Speakerphones

Electronic Ethics

Making Electronic Mail More Human

Considerate Round-the-Clock Electronic Communications

Antidotes to an Overdose of Technology

WRITING THE PERFECT BUSINESS LETTER

Formal Business Letters

A Letter Versus a Fax

Some Points of Etiquette

Some Guidelines for Salutations

Complimentary Closings

Signature Block

Informal Business Letters

Letters to Congratulate or Mark Special Occasions

Acknowledging a Compliment

Letters Pertaining to Favors

Thanking for a Meal

Thanking Management for Gifts

Thanking a Colleague for a Personal Gift

Politely Refusing a Gift

Writing to a Journalist After an Interview

Letters of Encouragement

Letter to Consolidate a Contact

Retirement Letters

Letters for Difficult Circumstances

Letters Informing Someone Why He Didn't Get the Job or an Agency Why It Didn't Get the Account

Letters of Reference and Recommendation

Introducing Someone Moving to Another City

Recommendation for Membership in a Club

Lukewarm Recommendation for Membership in a Club

Recommendation for Membership in a Professional Organization

Reference for an Executive Who Has Been Let Go

Letters of Resignation

From a Contented Executive

From an Unhappy Executive

Letters of Acceptance and Regret for an Invitation to Join the Board of a Nonprofit Institution

Letter Accepting

Letter Regretting

Letter Declining to Endorse or Praise Something for Commercial Purposes

Letters of Complaint

Composing a Letter of Complaint

Fielding Letters of Complaint

Letters of Acknowledgment and Thanks

Helpful Hints on Thank-You Notes

Thanking a Colleague Who Defends You

Thanking Those WhoVolunteer on a Major Project

Thanking for a Job Interview

Thanking the Person Who Arranged for You to Have an Interview

HANDLING AN EXECUTIVE'S MAIL IN HIS OR HER ABSENCE

MEMOS

The Form of a Memo

Communicating by Memo with a Person Whose Name You Don't Know

Straight Memo Form

Simplified Letter Style

Memo-Letter Style

CHRISTMAS, HOLIDAY, AND GREETING CARDS

Holiday Card Etiquette

Greeting Cards for Someone Who Is Seriously Ill

8 The Executive Stationery Wardrobe: Why Everything You Send Out with Your Name on It Matters

STATIONERY PROTOCOL

YOUR CORPORATE IDENTITY AND YOUR STATIONERY

THE ENTREPRENEUR'S FIRST STATIONERY

YOUR STATIONERY WARDROBE

Classic, Conservative Design

Less Conservative Design

Women Executives Often Need Stationery for Personal Use

Business Cards

Business Card Etiquette

The Design of the Business Card

Business Cards Abroad

Business Announcement Cards

The Design: Formal Versus Informal

9 Dressing for Business

WHEN YOU'RE BUYING CLOTHES FOR THE OFFICE, ASK YOURSELF SOME QUESTIONS

WHO CAN HELP YOU?

TO REMEMBER

A MALE EXECUTIVE'S WARDROBE IN A CONSERVATIVE OFFICE

Attending Black-Tie Events

Your Suits

Your Ties and Shirts

Your Shoes

Your Socks

HATS AND CAPS

Women's Hats

Summer Straw and Cloth Hats for Men and Women

FASHION AND THE WOMAN EXECUTIVE

A Woman Executive and Her Decolletage

A Woman Executive in Shorts, Culottes, and Pants

Suggestions for a Woman Executive's Wardrobe

Attending Black-Tie Events

Accessories

Makeup

Makeup Application Etiquette

Fragrance

CASUAL DRESS, OR "CASUAL DAY"

It's a Question of Good Judgment

The Psychology of Dressing Down

Dressing Casually But Properly

The Well-Dressed Casual Look for Men and Women

GROOMING

HAIR

Dyeing Your Hair

Wigs and Hairpieces

10 Doing International Business — Profitably and Politely

THE IMPORTANCE OF SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGES

When One Is Unfamiliar with a Foreign Language

Efficent and Kind Handling of the Interpreter

HOW TO FIND INFORMATION ON A FOREIGN CULTURE

CROSS-CULTURAL TRAINING FOR FAMILIES MOVING OVERSEAS

Cross-Cultural Training Centers

CITIZENS EMERGENCY CENTER TRAVEL ADVISORIES

GENERAL ADVICE FOR DOING BUSINESS WITH PEOPLE FROM OTHER COUNTRIES

When You Are Going There

Don't Forget...

When Your Business Colleague Is Coming Here from a Foreign Country

STANDING UP FOR YOUR COUNTRY ABROAD

INTERNATIONAL GIFT-GIVING

Ideas for Gifts

Gifts for Children

Female Executives Giving Gifts

A Special Gift for a Foreign Guest Speaker

What to Give a Colleague Who Is Going Abroad

Some Things You Should Know About Giving Flowers

YOUR FREE TIME ON YOUR BUSINESS TRIPS

AMERICAN HABITS THAT DISPLEASE PEOPLE FROM OTHER COUNTRIES

No Teasing About Sacred Matters, Not Even in Jest

THE IMPORTANCE OF PROPER DRESS WHEN DOING BUSINESS ABROAD

SOME REGIONS WHERE CUSTOMS ARE MARKEDLY DIFFERENT FROM THE WESTERN WORLDAfrica

Business Manners

Social Customs

Gifts

The Arab World

Business Manners

Social Customs

Gifts

Germany

Business Manners

Social Customs

Gifts

India

Business Manners

Social Customs

Gifts

Japan

Business Manners

Social Customs

Gifts

Korea

Business Manners

Social Customs

Gifts

The People's Republic of China

Business Manners

Social Customs

Gifts

11 Giving the Perfect Business Gift

SOME GENERAL GUIDELINES

GET HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT: THE GIFT CONSULTANT

THE REASONS WHY YOU SEND SOMEONE A GIFT

WHEN YOU DO NOT WISH PEOPLE TO BRING GIFTS TO A PARTY IN YOUR HONOR

BUSINESS GIFT IDEAS

Giveaways

The Corporate Logo Gift

Electronic Gifts

Sending Flowers

Food as a Business Gift

Liquor and Wine as Business Gifts

Bar Accessories

For Special People and Special Occasions

For the New Executive

For the Traveler

For the International Traveler

For a Colleague's Newly Decorated Office

EXCHANGING GIFTS IN THE OFFICE SHOULD BE DISCOURAGED

COMPANY POLICY PROHIBITING THE ACCEPTANCE OF GIFTS

AT HOLIDAY TIME

The Company Policy Toward Employees and Gifts

Your Own Holiday Gift Policy

Your Secretary

Ideas for Personal Holiday Gifts for Those in Your Professional Life

Christmas Tipping

A Gift of Money for People Who Serve You at Home

A Gift of Money Plus a Personal Gift

Keeping an Updated Gift List

PAYING FOR GIFTS

How Much Should You Spend?

THE MANNER OF PRESENTING THE GIFT

GIVING AND RETURNING THE INAPPROPRIATE GIFT

ACCEPTING AND ACKNOWLEDGING A GIFT

WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN SOMEONE'S GUEST FOR DINNER

From a Houseguest to a Host

BIRTHDAY PRESENTS IN THE BUSINESS WORLD

Birthday Cards

PRESENTS MARKING EMPLOYEES' SERVICE ANNIVERSARIES

WEDDING GIFTS

A Company's Wedding Gift for VIPs and Their Senior Executives

GIFTS FOR A BABY

GIFTS FOR SOMEONE WHO IS ILL OR INJURED

GIFTS FOR THE RETIREE

A GIFT OF ART

Gift Certificates to Art Galleries

If You Are Contemplating a Serious Gift of Art for a Colleague

Commissioning a Portrait

Other Commissioned Works

PART III

THE PROTOCOL OF BUSINESS LIFE12 Business Protocol

DEFERENCE: THE BASIS OF PROTOCOL

You Are Showing Deference When...

HOW TO SEAT GUESTS AT A TABLE ACCORDING TO RANK AND COMPANY POSITION

The First Priority: Your Officially Ranked Guests

When You Have a Foreign Guest

A Guest's Elevated Standing in Your Community

Your Own Company Colleagues and Business Colleagues from Other Companies

In a Law or an Accounting Firm

In the Health Care Business

Your Guide to Official Ranking of U.S. Officials and Diplomats

Official Rankings for U.S. Officials

Researching Your Official Guest's Rank

When Both Husband and Wife Have Official Ranks or Titles

When Spouses Are Not Present

Seating at Round Tables

Open Seating

THE PROTOCOL OF LARGE CIVIC-SOCIAL FUNCTIONS

The Invocation

The National Anthem

Displaying the Flag

TOASTING

Who Does the Toasting?

Why Make a Toast?

Who Gets Toasted at Your Table?

At What Point in the Meal Should a Toast Be Made?

When You Give a Toast

Returning a Toast

The Very Short Toast as an Automatic Sign of Welcome

When Sentimentality Is Appropriate

The Best Toast Ever Made

PROPER FORMS OF ADDRESS

"Jr.," "Sr.," "2nd," "3rd," and So On

The Use of "Ms."

Professional Titles

The Use of "Doctor" for a Ph.D.

Addressing Invitations to Couples

When Both Husband and Wife Are Doctors

When a Woman Has Kept Her Own Name

When They Are Living Together Unmarried

When the Wife Outranks Her Husband

Addressing People as "Sir" and "Ma'am"

When to Use a First Name

"The Honorable" — A Title of Respect in America

How to Address an Envelope Using "The Honorable"

When Highly Ranked People Are No Longer in Office

When a U.S. President Is No Longer in Office

Addressing Government Officials: A Sampling

Addressing Spouses of Officially Ranked People

Addressing a Military Man or Woman

Addressing Religious Officials

Protestant Clergy

Mormon Clergy

Roman Catholic Hierarchy

Eastern Orthodox Communion

Jewish Faith

Military Chaplains

Addressing U.S. Ambassadors to Other Countries

Addressing Foreign Ambassadors to the United States

Writing and Speaking to Officials of Foreign Republics

Western European Titles

Writing and Speaking to the Royal Family of Great Britain

Making Conversation with a Royal

Writing and Speaking to the Peerage

Canadian Officials

Writing and Speaking to Officials at the United Nations

Addressing Foreign Professionals

Addressing Women in Foreign Countries

13 Running and Attending Meetings and Conferences, From Inter-Office to International

WHY MEETINGS ARE HELD

THE EFFECTIVE MEETING CHAIRMAN

THE EFFECTIVE MEETING PARTICIPANT

GET THE MOST OUT OF THE MEETINGS YOU ATTEND

Think Before Speaking

GOOD MANNERS AT ROUTINE MEETINGS OUTSIDE THE OFFICE

MEETING MANNERS AWAY FROM HOME

When Spouses or Dates Come Along

A LARGE MEETING AT CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS

The Person in Charge

THE ANNUAL SHAREHOLDERS' MEETING: A COMPANY'S MOST IMPORTANT LARGE MEETING

Time and Place of the Annual Meeting

Communicating the Details

Mailing the Annual Report

Ensuring Security and Comfort

Keeping Order

Shareholders' Manners at Meetings

The Agenda

THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS MEETING

The Importance of Good Communication Among Board Members

When a Director Attends His First Meeting

The Director's Manners

The Group Photograph of the Board

THE ANNUAL SALES CONFERENCE

Conference Centers for Training and Planning Sessions

Meeting Planners International

VIDEOCONFERENCING

CHOOSING A CONFERENCE OR SEMINAR LOCATIONWhen You Are Booking a Facility for Your Company

Negotiating for the Site and Services

Tips and Gratuities

THE MEETING PLANNER'S NOTEBOOK

1. Basic Information

2. Evaluation of the Facility

3. Post-Meeting Evaluation of the Facility

4. Invitations to the Meeting

5. The Budget

6. Transportation Checklist

7. Room Assignments

8. Inventory of Supplies for the Meeting When the Facility Has No Business Center

9. Flowers

10. Audiovisual Checklist

11. Speakers and Entertainers

12. Meeting Room Floor Plans

13. The Menu

14. Thank-You Notes

15. Final Letter to the General Manager of the Facility

MEETING REGISTRATION

Badges

THE HOSPITALITY SUITE

THE PRESS ROOM

14 Business Entertaining

YOU ENTERTAIN MORE THAN YOU THINK

THE ART OF PLEASING PEOPLE

AN IMAGINATIVE PLACE FOR YOUR PARTY

ENTERTAINING YOUR COLLEAGUES

Inviting the Boss

When the Boss Invites You

Inviting Colleagues with and without Spouses or Dates

ENTERTAINING THE OUT-OF-TOWN BUSINESS GUEST

The Care of an Out-of-Town VIP Visitor

COMPILING THE GUEST LIST

The Well-Blended Guest List

Keep These Names on File Cards

ADVICE ON CUTTING YOUR ENTERTAINMENT BUDGET

WHEN A COMPANY-HOSTED EVENT MUST BE CANCELLED OR POSTPONED

Contractual Obligations in Cancelling an Event

Some Actions to Consider When Cancelling a Large Company Event

THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO PLANNING AND RUNNING THE BIG CORPORATE EVENT

Plan Your Event Like a Military Campaign

The Party Planner Looks Above, Beyond, and Behind

Putting Your Big Party Plan Together

THE PARTY PLANNER'S NOTEBOOK

1. Basic Information

2. Budget

3. Guest List

4. Invitations

5. Caterer: Food and Beverages

6. Florist

7. The Tent for Dancing

8. Diagrams of Room Floor Plans

9. Party Decor

10. Party Protocol

11. Music and Entertainment

12. Press Coverage of the Event

13. Security Arrangements

SEATING AT A LARGE PARTY

The Dais

Organizing the Dais Group

The Seating on the Dais

Substitutions on the Dais

Alternatives to the Dais

Learn How to Seat According to Rank

How to Get Help in Ranking Your Guests

How to Do the Seating

Making the Door Lists

Table Cards Are a Good Idea for a Large Function

When the Guests Enter the Ballroom

The Party Planner Needs Copies of the Overall Table Plans

Introducing Guests to the Hosts

When There Is No Receiving Line

When There Is a Receiving Line

When a Large Party Needs an "Introducer"

Menus and Place Cards

Menu Cards

Place Cards

A SOUVENIR DINNER PROGRAM FOR GUESTS AT AN IMPRESSIVE EVENT

THE ROLE OF THE COHOST OR SPOUSE AT A LARGE EVENT

THE IMPORTANCE OF THE MEAL SERVICE

Points to Remember in the Service of a Buffet

The Food You Serve at Your Parties

The Caterer's Imagination Is Essential

What You Serve Today

The Pursuit of Healthy Food in Menu Planning

Vegetarians and Animal Activists

Religious Dietary Laws Should Be Observed

Regional Specialties

When You Are Doing a Banquet in Honor of Guests from Another Country

More Tips on Menu Planning

A Completely American Menu Is Fine, Too

Sample Menus for Sit-Down Meals

Serving Coffee

Liqueurs and Brandy

A PARTY GIVEN FOR THE ARTS

A BUSINESS TEA PARTY — WHY NOT?

THE COMPANY'S CHRISTMAS PARTY

The Most Important Part of the Annual Employee Party: The Behavior of Host and Guest

HAVING ENTERTAINMENT WHEN YOU ENTERTAIN

When Not to Schedule Entertainment

When to Schedule Entertainment

Retain an Entertainment Consultant for a Large Event

Things to Remember

Be Tough with Your After-Dinner Speakers

The Role of the Master of Ceremonies

Advice to the Master of Ceremonies

The Party Manager Makes a Few "Speakers' Rules"

Give Your Speakers Good Logistical Support

When You Have a Celebrity

WHEN SERVING OR CONSUMING ALCOHOL

To Drink or Not to Drink

Keep in Mind the Corporate Responsibility in Serving Alcohol

Helping Control Costs When You Serve Alcohol

The Cash Bar

The Service of Wine

The Decanter: When You Give a Business Dinner at Home

When a Waiter or Waitress Serves the Wine

The Wines at a Formal Dinner

The Wines at an Informal Dinner

After-Dinner Drinks

If You're Ordering Wine for Your Guests in a Restaurant

Tasting the Wine in a Fine Restaurant

The Proper Wineglass

Serving Beer

Beer Etiquette

Entertaining a Recovering Alcoholic

WHEN YOU ENTERTAIN OR ARE ENTERTAINED IN A RESTAURANT

Showing Courtesy Toward the Restaurant Owner

Restaurant Manners for the Host

Restaurant Manners for the Guest

Restaurant Manners for Host and Guest

Tipping When You Entertain in a Restaurant

Tipping in a Fast-Food Take-Out Place

WHEN YOU ENTERTAIN IN THE EXECUTIVE DINING ROOM

Corporate Dining Manners for the Junior Executive

WHEN YOU ENTERTAIN IN A PRIVATE CLUB

When You Are Someone's Private Club Guest

When the Circumstances Are Right to Entertain in Someone Else's Club

WHEN YOU ENTERTAIN WITH A SANDWICH AT YOUR DESK

WHEN YOU ENTERTAIN AT HOME: THE MOST FLATTERING INVITATION OF THEM ALL

Entertaining at Home Requires Organization and Sensitivity

The Planning Aspects of an Important Dinner at Home

What Kind of Service?

The Spouse Cohosts an Important Dinner at Home

Cohosting in an Executive's Home Where There Is No Spouse

When Your Guests Should But Won't Go Home

When You're a Guest in Someone Else's Home

THE CORPORATE COCKTAIL PARTY

Cocktail Party Manners

The Staff Should Be Trained to Work the Cocktail Party

Different Parties at the Cocktail Hour

Where to Have a Cocktail Party

Basic Equipment

What the Bartender Will Need

Drink-Making for the Well-Stocked Bar

Items Needed for a Minimally Stocked Bar

Guaranteed to Succeed: A Nonalcoholic Bar

The Number of Bars and Servers Needed

Glasses

Cocktail Party Food

Typical Cocktail Party Menu

Typical Cocktail-Buffet Menu

Food to Have at the Cocktail Hour When Times Are Good

Menu for a Dessert-Buffet Reception

SMOKING MANNERS

Most People Feel a Smoker Should...

A Nonsmoker Should...

The Polite Cigar or Pipe Smoker

SOCIAL DRUG USE WHEN YOU ENTERTAIN AT A BUSINESS FUNCTION

15 Invitations

THE WAYS IN WHICH INVITATIONS ARE EXTENDED

JULIAN FORTESQUE INVITES GUESTS TO AN IMPORTANT LUNCH

THE GRACEFUL ART OF MOTIVATING SOMEONE TO ATTEND YOUR FUNCTION

DESIGNING AND PRODUCING INVITATIONS

THE DESIGN DOES NOT HAVE TO BE BORING

ADDRESSING THE ENVELOPES

STAMPING THE ENVELOPES

STUFFING THE ENVELOPES

WHEN TO MAIL THE INVITATIONS

A SAVE-THE-DATE COMMUNICATION

SOME SAMPLE INVITATIONS

The Classic Formal Invitation to a Formal Event

To a Formal Dinner

To a Formal Reception

When There Are Several Hosts Representing Several Companies

When Two Married Doctors Entertain

When a Senior Offier and His or Her Spouse Entertain

When an Executive Entertains in Her Company's Dining Room

When There Is a Retirement Party

When the Company Hosts a Product Launch

When the Company Hosts a Two-Day Meeting

THE TEN ELEMENTS OF AN INVITATION

1. The Corporate Symbol

2. The Names of the Hosts

3. The Phrasing of the Invitation

4. The Kind of Party

5. The Purpose of the Party

6. The Date

7. The Hour

8. The Place

9. Special Instructions

Instructions That Are Useful

Communicating a Speech or Presentation

Communicating What Guests Will Be Doing, Other Than Eating

10. Where to Reply

ADMISSION TICKETS AND RESERVED-SEAT TICKETS SENT WHEN THE HOST RECEIVES AN AFFIRMATIVE REPLY

RSVP ETIQUETTE

"Acceptances Only" and "Regrets Only" Don't Work

"The Favor of a Reply Is Requested"

Bringing an Uninvited Date or Escort to a Party

How a Secretary Replies for Her Boss

A Formal Acceptance

When You Have Not Been Invited

16 The Important Business of the Nonprofit World and the Duties of the Nonprofit Board

A COMPANY NEEDS A POLICY FOR ITS CORPORATE SUPPORT ACTIVITIES

A SOCIALLY RESPONSIBLE COMPANY SUPPORTS THE SURROUNDING COMMUNITY

THE CHARITY BENEFIT WITH CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP

Invitations to the Benefit

A Fund-Raiser Conceived of and Hosted by a Corporation

AN INSTITUTION'S GOOD MANNERS TOWARD A SPONSORING CORPORATION

A CORPORATION'S GOOD MANNERS TOWARD NONPROFIT INSTITUTIONS

SUPPORT OF THE ARTS

Not Only Giant Corporations Assist the Arts

Support of Music, Dance, and the Theater

Don't Spoil the Image by Overspending

Tooting the Company's Horn

INSTITUTIONAL ADVERTISING TO SUPPORT THE NONPROFIT SECTOR

THE COMPANY ENCOURAGES VOLUNTEERISM AMONG EMPLOYEES

YOU AS A VOLUNTEER

WHEN YOU HONOR A CEO WHO HAS PERSUADED HIS COMPANY TO HELP THE COMMUNITY

THE SERIOUS BUSINESS OF JOINING A NONPROFIT BOARD

The Trustee's Good Manners

The Financial Commitment of Trustees

A Commitment of Hearts and Hands

Put a Young Person on Your Board

A PARTY FUND-RAISER GIVEN BY YOUNG EXECUTIVES

A CAVEAT ABOUT CORPORATE GIVING

WHEN FRIENDS AND BUSINESS COLLEAGUES TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A SUCCESSFUL EXECUTIVE

17 Celebrations and Rites of Passage

A COMPANY CELEBRATES ITS ANNIVERSARY

Planning the Celebration

Playing Up Company Nostalgia

Planning a Unified Graphics Campaign for the Anniversary Year

When Two Companies Have Merged, It Is Worthy of Celebration

Fifth Anniversary

Tenth Anniversary

Twenty-Fifth or Fiftieth Anniversary

A Company's Traveling Road Show

Major, Expensive Projects for a Company Celebrating an Anniversary of Fifty or More Years

Organizing a City Parade Commemorating the Anniversary

WHEN AN EMPLOYEE MARRIES OR HAS A BABY

When an Employee Marries

When an Employee Has a Baby

CHRISTENINGS, BAR MITZVAHS, AND BAT MITZVAHS

WHEN AN EMPLOYEE HAS A BIRTHDAY

WHEN AN EXECUTIVE RETIRES

Some Company-Sponsored Retirement Activities When Times Are Good

When You Are the Retiree

The Retirement Speech

The Junior Executive's Attitude Toward the Retiring Executive

WHEN AN EXECUTIVE DIES

Tasks to Be Undertaken Immediately

Tasks to Be Undertaken in the Home of the Deceased

The Obituary

Writing the Obituary

On the Subject of Flowers for the Funeral

The Funeral Home

The Funeral

The Interment

How to Dress

Program for the Order of Service in a Church

The Eulogy

Reception Following the Memorial Service

Ushers and Pallbearers at Funerals and Memorial Services

A Mass Card: A Gesture to a Catholic Family

Special Observances for Families of Deceased Jewish Executives or Employees

A Donation Made to a Nonprofit Institution "In Memory Of"

Setting Up a Memorial

Keeping in Touch with the Surviving Spouse

Published Tributes When Someone Dies

When an Executive Dies at a Post Abroad

Condolence Letters

From an Executive to the Mother of an Unmarried Colleague

From an Employee to an Executive's Family

To a National of a Foreign Country Whose Leader Has Died

On a Personal Note: A Condolence Letter from a Former Senior Executive to the Family of Another

Senior Executive

Acknowledging Expressions of Sympathy

The Family Acknowledges Friends' and Colleagues' Gestures

The Family Acknowledges the Company's Gestures

Index