Will Our Love Last?: A Couple's Road Map »

Sam R. Hamburg, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and marital therapist in private practice is a lecturer in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Chicago's Pritzker School of Medicine and a member of the adjunct faculty of The Family Institute at Northwestern University. He lives in Chicago, Illinois.

In every romantic relationship, men and women alike wonder whether their love will stand the test of time. In this unconventional guide, Sam R. Hamburg, Ph.D., explains how to eliminate the guesswork and pick the right romantic partner. Basing his findings on hundreds of cases in his twenty-five years as a marital therapist and thirty years in his own marriage, Dr. Hamburg shows that in the best unions partners are deeply compatible in all areas -- from sex to daily decision making to beliefs about life.

With an innovative approach, Dr. Hamburg guides couples in understanding how compatible they are in each dimension and he empowers them to make important relationship decisions that are intellectually and emotionally informed. Written in a clear and direct style, Will Our Love Last? teaches couples at any stage of commitment how to avoid mistakes and find lasting love.

Publishers Weekly

Quietly disputing the "men are from Mars" theory, psychologist Hamburg argues that the key to a satisfying marriage lies in choosing the right partner based on compatibility in three areas: on a practical level, sexually and in "wavelength." His thoughtful explanation of why he believes mutual understanding is more important in marriage than communication or hard work is illustrated with examples from his own practice and peppered with questions aimed at helping readers assess their compatibility with their partners. Among the practical considerations he discusses are attitudes about earning and spending money, maintaining a household, managing leisure time and dealing with family members. The section on sexuality surveys sexual style, interest and comfort level, while the "wavelength dimension" covers values, aspirations and spiritual orientation. Hamburg does not suggest that each person find a clone; he simply emphasizes the importance of assessing the ways in which a potential partner conforms with or differs from oneself. While his notion of "optimizing" a relationship has a slightly academic ring, he also recommends some offbeat exercises, such as a series of hand-rotations designed to help partners define compatibility. He also offers straight-up traditional wisdom that's often overlooked in the throes of attraction: get to know a potential partner in a variety of circumstances, get rid of partners who project bad vibes or present unpleasant situations. Writing in an amiably paternal, workmanlike style, Hamburg proffers realistic and sensible advice. Agent, Candice Fuhrman. (May) Copyright 2000 Cahners Business Information.|

Contents

Author's Notes

Acknowledgments

1. The Question: What Makes Marriages Happy?

2. The Answer: Compatibility

3. How Love Fits In

4. Love Is Private, Marriage Is Public

5. Different Kinds of Marriages

6. Filling in the Details: Your (My) Questions Answered

7. Avoiding Bad News

8. Feeling Your Compatibility

9. The Practical Dimension

10. The Sexual Dimension

11. The Wavelength Dimension

12. Yikes! What Do We Do Now? And Your (My) Other Questions Answered

13. After You Get Married

14. Devotion

Endnotes

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