Category Books

Welcome to the Motherhood: Grime and Punishment »

Authors: Melissa Jarvis
ISBN-13: 9780966674842, ISBN-10: 0966674847
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Plexus Publishing, Inc.
Date Published: September 2004
Edition: (Non-applicable)

Author Biography: Melissa Jarvis

Melissa Jarvis is the author of the weekly column "Family Album", which appears in the southern New Jersey newspaper the Courier-Post and is shared with other Gannett Co., Inc. papers nationwide. She lives in Laurel Springs, New Jersey.

Book Synopsis

A hilarious look at American motherhood for a new generation of harried moms.

	Acknowledgments	ix
	Introduction: Out on a Limb	xiii
Chapter 1	Does the Stay-at-Home Mommy Want a Wittle Awwowance?	1
Chapter 2	Rich Is	7
Chapter 3	The Pick-Up Line from Hell	11
Chapter 4	Lucky Us	19
Chapter 5	Love and Periodontal Disease	25
Chapter 6	I Am a Second Grade Loser	33
Chapter 7	According to the Experts, Buying 20 Copies of This Book Will Make You Live Longer (I Swear!)	41
Chapter 8	I Am a Girl Scout Poseur	47
Chapter 9	The Sounds of Silence	57
Chapter 10	Plantains and Automobiles	65
Chapter 11	Chattanooga Momma and Her Little Frank Perdue	71
Chapter 12	How Do They Stick Teflon on Nonstick Pans?	77
Chapter 13	The Cadillac of Coaches	85
Chapter 14	Dr. Doom	93
Chapter 15	Hidden Cost #492 of Raising Children: Bribery	97
Chapter 16	It's a Sickness	107
Chapter 17	The Circus, er, Circle of Life	117
Chapter 18	Can You Still Give a Kid a Time-Out if He's Taller Than You and Carries a Gun?	129
Chapter 19	Steal My Identity, Slap My Face, and Make Off with My Husband--Please!	137
Chapter 20	Boy Feet	145
Chapter 21	I May Not Remember Your Name, but I Know I Gave Birth to You	149
Chapter 22	Open Season on Glue Gun Users	157
Chapter 23	A.K.A. Julie McCoy, Cruise Director Extraordinaire	167
Chapter 24	It's All Good	173
	About the Author	181