Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents » (Reprint)

Jane Isay has been an editor for over forty years. She discovered Mary Pipher's Reviving Ophelia, commissioned Patricia O'Connor's bestselling Woe Is I and Rachel Simmons' Odd Girl Out, and edited such nonfiction classics as Praying for Sheetrock and Friday Night Lights. She lives in New York City, not too far from her grown children and grandchild.

On giving advice:
They Don’t Want It.
They Don’t Hear It.
They Resent It.
Don’t Give It.

We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don’t call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children—real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.

Using extensive interviews with people from ages twenty-five to seventy, Isay shows that we’re far from alone in our struggles to make this new, adult relationship work. She offers up groundbreaking insights and deeply moving stories that will inspire those in even the toughest situations. Isay’s warmth and wit shine through on every page as she charts an invaluable course through the confusing, and often painful, interactions parents and children can face. Walking on Eggshells is the much-needed road map that will keep you connected to the people you love most.

Publishers Weekly

As baby boomer parents age, they're discovering the empty-nest syndrome is nothing compared to what happens when their kids graduate from college and start leading lives of their own. To a generation famous for being involved in every aspect of their children's lives, it can be upsetting to find that those children no longer need or welcome your advice. How does one parent children who no longer need parenting? Publishing veteran Isay, an editor and mother of two grown sons, interviews scores of parents and adult children of all ages to see how they are doing it. The stories are heartwarming, and Isay recounts them with intelligence and compassion. What does she find? Nothing Ann Landers hasn't already told us. Mainly: don't give advice; make friends with your children's significant others; and remember that love heals. The most compelling story is Isay's own. One wishes it were the centerpiece of the book rather than tacked on as an epilogue. Her experience is an example of her most interesting discovery: children are quick to forgive and often the ones who take the initiative in forging a new brand of closeness between themselves and their parents-a closeness that is best described as adult. (Mar. 27)

Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.

Introduction     vii
Happy Families Don't All Look Alike
Where Have All Our Children Gone?     3
Hiding in Plain Sight     31
One Size Doesn't Fit All     58
Big Children, Big Problems
Whose Life Is It, Anyway?     85
In-Laws, Stepparents, and Other Aliens     106
It's a Girl!     131
The Root of All Evil     158
The Family Connection
Home for the Holidays     187
The Song of Love     209
Epilogue: A Hole in My Heart     228
Acknowledgments     238
Readers' Guide     240