Authors: Natalie Madorsky Elman, Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Eileen Kennedy-Moore
ISBN-13: 9780316917308, ISBN-10: 0316917303
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Little, Brown & Company
Date Published: September 2003
Edition: 1ST
This practical and compassionate handbook helps parents sharpen any child's social skills by identifying the "unwritten rules" that govern all relationships.
Elman, director of the Summit Center for Learning in Summit, N.J., and Kennedy-Moore, a Westfield, N.J., psychotherapist, offer a detailed examination of the different ways children interact with their peers. Often, otherwise bright and "normal" children behave in ways that cause other children, family members and teachers to label them as disruptive, unhappy or troublesome. There are nine types of children, according to the authors, including the "short-fused," "little adult," "born leader" and "different drummer." Parents will immediately be able to identify their child from the detailed descriptions included. For example, "Short-Fused Children may appear to be strong, but inside they feel vulnerable. These children are extremely sensitive. They often believe that the whole world is against them. Because they feel threatened, they respond angrily, instinctively fighting to protect themselves." As they explain the various types of behaviors, the authors depict a number of scenarios to show the difficulties children can have relating to others. The challenge for the parents is to help their children learn "the Unwritten Rules" so they have fewer problems and form happier, more productive relationships. The authors provide specific sentences that both parents and children can use to change these destructive behavior patterns, but some parents will probably hope for even more specific do's and don'ts. Given that other childrearing tomes rarely cover this topic, this book is a welcome addition to the parenting library. (Sept.) Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.
Preface | ix | |
Chapter 1 | The Unwritten Rules of Friendship: Simple Strategies Every Child Needs to Know | 3 |
Chapter 2 | The Vulnerable Child | 15 |
Allen: Giving In to Threats | ||
Phillip: Asking for Trouble | ||
Chapter 3 | The Intimidating Child | 48 |
Jason: Believing "Might Makes Right" | ||
Dolores: Excluding Another Child | ||
Jennifer: Bullying a Sibling | ||
Chapter 4 | The Different Drummer | 73 |
Eric: Seeking Negative Attention | ||
Spencer: Talking Up a Storm | ||
Chelsea: Coming On Too Strong | ||
Chapter 5 | The Shy Child | 108 |
Michael: Not Knowing What to Say | ||
Emma: Hiding from the Group | ||
Chapter 6 | The Short-Fused Child | 137 |
Gregory: Acting Like a Poor Sport | ||
Lorena: Assuming Malicious Intent | ||
Malcolm: Falling Apart in Public | ||
Chapter 7 | The Little Adult | 179 |
Margaret: Playing "the Expert" | ||
Simon: Belittling Peers' Interests | ||
Nathan: Needing to Be Perfect | ||
Chapter 8 | The Sensitive Soul | 208 |
Jonathan: Overresponding to Teasing | ||
Claudia: Overreacting to Criticism | ||
Lauren: Holding On to Grudges | ||
Chapter 9 | The Born Leader | 234 |
Samantha: Running the Show | ||
Jack: Acting Like the Rule Police | ||
Francine: Arguing with Authority Figures | ||
Chapter 10 | The Pessimistic Child | 271 |
Meredith: Constantly Complaining | ||
Nadia: Feeling Shortchanged | ||
Zack: Expecting the Worst | ||
Chapter 11 | Frequently Asked Questions | 302 |
Appendix | ||
List of Activities | 311 | |
Recommended Reading for Parents | 317 | |
Selected Professional References | 321 | |
Acknowledgments | 325 | |
Index | 329 | |
About the Authors | 339 |