Turning Grief Into Gratitude »

A friends dies. What do you say to comfort his family? How do you overcome your own grief after the passing of a loved one?

David Kessler, top grief expert and co-author with the late Elizabeth Kübler-Ross of On Grief and Grieving, explains: "Grief is the reflection of the love we share in life. This book [Turning Grief into Gratitude] brilliantly walks with us in our grief and helps us hang on to that love." "Rabbi Reuven Bulka," adds Kessler, "has given us a personal, compassionate and helpful look into the world of grief."

After over 35 years of consoling and counseling mourners as a rabbi and psychologist, Rabbi Dr. Reuven P. Bulka takes you on an insightful journey through the intricacies of his grieving following the death of his parents, and illustrates how one can help oneself and others to turn grief into gratitude, and offers practical advice on what to do and say to a mourner, thereby easing a lot of the awkwardness many of us face in such situations.

Publishers Weekly

Bulka (Chicken Soup with Chopsticks), a rabbi and psychologist, blends personal stories with practical advice in this brief memoir. Despite the self-helpish title, it's more an autobiography than a how-to manual for either mourners or those who wish to comfort them. The first half of the book is primarily a love letter to Bulka's parents, who passed away within weeks of each other in March 2006, followed just a few weeks later by Bulka's mother-in-law. The rabbi had already endured his share of mourning, having lost an infant son years before to SIDS and his first wife to cancer. Bulka speaks lovingly, even hagiographically, of his deceased parents, and then turns in chapter four to questions of grief and mourning etiquette. His discussions of Jewish mourning rituals are helpful, though some readers will wish for more detail. His final chapter on "How to Console" will be valuable to those who wish to offer comfort but are terrified of saying something inappropriate. ("Those coming to visit mourners will need to think about what they will say before they come calling," he advises.) Jewish readers who have lost one or both parents will find consolation in this warm and deeply personal guide. (Feb. 20)