The Talk: What Your Kids Need to Hear from You About Sex »

SHARON MAXWELL, Ph.D., has been a practicing clinical psychologist for seventeen years. She won a national award from Parenting Publications of America for her series of articles on sex education. The Commonwealth of Massachusetts features her work in its brochures on sex education and in a DVD on teens and drunk driving.

A groundbreaking resource to help jump start an ongoing discussion between parents and teens about sex and sexuality Internet chat rooms, boy/girl sleepovers, reality TV . . . there's more to “the talk” than ever before. Faced with a culture that pushes our kids to be “sexy” before puberty begins, how do we explain the power of sexuality in a way that promotes healthy, age-appropriate behavior?

The Talk is a breakthrough resource for parents and educators that prepares kids for a hypersexualized world and lays the foundation for ethical sexual behavior that can guide our children from elementary school through college.

Using real-life situations, Dr. Sharon Maxwell demonstrates how dramatically the world of preteen and teen sexual exploration has changed. She helps parents think through the message they want to give to their kids about sexual behavior, and how that message must evolve as their kids get older. Focusing on the importance of love and intimacy, Dr. Maxwell helps parents define their values about sex and gives concrete ways to share those values with teens.

The Talk shows parents how to:

• Set family guidelines for safe Internet use

• Address the social power that comes from looking sexy, and the personal responsibility each of us has to use that power appropriately

• Discuss the moral aspects of sexuality in ways teens will understand

• Help children recognize the difference between feelings of sexual desire and love

• Develop principles with our teens that will help them figure out when it's okay to be sexual with someone and when it's not

Dr. Maxwell connects the dots between reproduction, the potent power of sexiness, sexual desire, emotional intimacy, and the spiritual dimension of sexuality. Offering an innovative framework for looking at human sexuality, this book has the potential to change the national conversation on sex education.

Jim Pocock

The mere thought of talking to their children about sex turns the average parent's thoughts to mush, drains the saliva completely from their mouths, and makes them nearly faint dead away. These are otherwise professionally competent and highly articulate adults we are talking about, mind you. But we cannot escape the fact that we parents are precisely the ones primarily responsible for shaping our children's beliefs and character and giving them sane and trustworthy guidance in the navigation of this techno-erotic culture of ours. Here is where Sharon Maxwell helps us, thankfully. This book will not give you pat answers, but it will give you a thoroughly complete picture of today's cultural landscape, together with a well rounded discussion of the nuances surrounding this issue. I wish I'd had this guide when my own son was younger - it would have given me useful tools, information and perspective, and also reduced my stammering! I enthusiastically commend this book to you, and wish you great success in this most important task of parenthood. (Pastor Jim Pocock, Trinitarian Congregational Church - Wayland, MA)

Introduction: Who I Am and What This Book Is About     xiii
It's Personal and the Stakes Are High     1
Healthy Sexual Attitudes Start with Respect     21
Wanting to Be Sexy Before Their Time     33
Starting the Conversation About Desire and the Power of Sexy     41
Self-Discipline: Developing the Muscle to Say No to Something That Feels Good     67
When It Comes to Sex and Teens, Talking Isn't Enough     79
Preparing Kids for the Vulnerabilities of Adolescence     107
Sexual Ethics and Religion: Finding Common Ground     133
Developing Guidelines for Sexual Behavior That Reflect Your Values     147
Forming One's Sexual Identity Online: Parenting Just Got a Lot Harder     159
Where Are We Going? Musings on the Twisted Road to "Sexual Liberation"     181
Epilogue     197
Contract for Safety     199
Sample Guidelines for Responsible Online Behavior     201
Taking Control of Our Time     203
Eleven Principles for Sexual Behavior     205
Notes     207
Index     213