Authors: Beryl Bissell
ISBN-13: 9781582433486, ISBN-10: 1582433488
Format: Hardcover
Publisher: Counterpoint
Date Published: April 2006
Edition: (Non-applicable)
The heartrending story of the forbidden love between a nun and a priest-by a writer who illuminates the details of everyday life, from the quiet rhythms of the cloister to the exuberant sensuality of the Amalfi Coast
When her family moves to Puerto Rico in the early 1950s, thirteen-year-old Beryl Bissell enters a milieu heady with sexuality and passion. Uncomfortable in her developing body and yearning for unconditional love, she becomes convinced that only God can satisfy her longing. On the day following her eighteenth birthday, she enters a cloistered convent in New Jersey, believing that God has called her to this way of life.
At first, she is blissfully happy. Within the year, however, she has become anorectic and prey to other obsessive compulsions. Her vocation at risk, she overcomes these disorders and perseveres for another ten years, until she must return home to Puerto Rico to help care for her ailing father.
Thrust once more into the sensual world of Puerto Rico, she discovers that religious garb cannot protect her from her budding sexuality. She is drawn to Padre Vittorio, a handsome Italian priest, and undergoes a belated coming of age. For the next three years, as she travels to and from the island, she struggles to reconcile human desire with spiritual longing. Unable to confide in either her mother or abbess, she tries to find the inner freedom that would allow her to love fully. The events that follow take the reader on a dizzying journey into the heart of desire, both spiritual and human.
In spare but lyric language, Bissell weaves a powerful story of love, death, guilt, and redemption-a pilgrimage that reaches beyond dogma to personal truth and evokesa transformation that changes not only herself, but the lives of those whom she loves most.
In 1957, 18-year-old Bissell entered the monastery of the cloistered order of the Poor Clares in New Jersey. At 33, after falling in love with a priest, she left. The memoir details Bissell's lifelong love affair with God and decade-long love affair with an Italian priest, Vittoria Bosca. The two wed once Bosca received a dispensation from Rome to leave the priesthood and had two children before he, 25 years her senior, died of cancer three years after their marriage. Bissell's intense desire to become a saint drew her to cloistered life, where the constraints of pre-Vatican II monasticism created a spiritual existence comprising prayer, work and self-mortification. Her forbidden attraction to Bosca resulted in several years of smoldering but unconsummated passion (despite lots of lusty kissing). He believed they could maintain a loving but chaste relationship as priest and nun; Bissell wanted more. She was shocked to find the Church willing to excuse their sexual relationship, yet disapproving of their marrying. Her memoir details monastic life, the lure of the protective cloister, the spiritual havoc wrought by Vatican II and the conflicts many Catholics have with tenets of their faith. This is a deeply moving tale of a woman torn between her love for God and her love for one of his emissaries. (Apr.) Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.
Dawn | ||
Matins | 3 | |
1 | God in 1947 | 5 |
2 | Island Living | 11 |
3 | Puerto Rican Adolescence | 17 |
4 | Transitions | 22 |
5 | Following My Vocation | 35 |
Lauds | 45 | |
6 | Entering the Monastery | 47 |
7 | Within the Walls | 53 |
8 | Becoming a Novice | 57 |
9 | Getting Thin for God | 63 |
Prime | 73 | |
10 | Lost in a World of Sisters | 75 |
11 | A Mother's Scars | 82 |
12 | Solemn Vows | 86 |
13 | Finding My Way Back | 88 |
14 | Your Mother Needs You | 95 |
Midday | ||
Terce | 105 | |
15 | The Return | 107 |
16 | Waking Up | 112 |
17 | Sexy Feet | 116 |
18 | Seeking a Friend | 121 |
19 | The Return to the Monastery | 125 |
Sex | 133 | |
20 | Taking Care of Daddy | 135 |
21 | A Drive in the Country | 139 |
22 | The Flowering | 144 |
23 | Keeping the Faith | 149 |
24 | Staggered Time | 155 |
None | 159 | |
25 | Teaching Vittorio Yoga | 161 |
26 | Ashes of a Vocation | 168 |
27 | Falling in Love | 173 |
28 | Death of My Father | 182 |
Dusk | ||
Vespers | 189 | |
29 | Italy at Last | 191 |
30 | Berries at Baiae | 200 |
31 | I Join the Blue Army | 209 |
32 | Back to the Priesthood | 214 |
33 | Vittorio's Italy | 220 |
34 | Together at Last | 229 |
Compline | 235 | |
35 | You Have Cancer | 237 |
36 | Pregnant and Married | 243 |
37 | Baby and Business | 252 |
38 | A Gift from Tears | 256 |
39 | Into the Valley of Death | 261 |
40 | Living with Cancer | 266 |
41 | Last Rites | 271 |
42 | A Tree of Diamonds | 282 |
Epilogue | 287 | |
Readings | 291 | |
Acknowledgments | 293 |