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The Lies We Believe » (Reprint)

Book cover image of The Lies We Believe by Chris Thurman

Authors: Chris Thurman
ISBN-13: 9780785263777, ISBN-10: 0785263772
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Nelson, Thomas, Inc.
Date Published: December 2002
Edition: Reprint

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Author Biography: Chris Thurman

Book Synopsis

This newly repackaged edition examines the lies people tell themselves that damage emotional health, relationships, and spiritual life. Psychologist Dr. Chris Thurman guides the reader through part one that identifies the different areas of self-lies, religious lies, marital lies, distortion lies, and worldly lies. Part Two delves into the issues of what is truth, and Part Three deals with how to live the truth, ultimately revealing the freedom that can only come from one thing-believing and telling themselves the truth. An extremely easy-to-follow guide filled with comprehensive workbook exercises, this edition is a way to help people experience the emotional health, intimate relationships, and spiritual fulfillment they are seeking.

Previous editions: 0-8407-3192-2 and 07852-7343-3

Table of Contents

Acknowledgmentsv
Prologuevii
Part 1The Lies We Believe1
1.The Truth About the Lies We Believe3
2.Self-Lies12
"I Must Be Perfect."
"I Must Have Everyone's Love and Approval."
"It Is Easier to Avoid Problems Than to Face Them."
"I Can't Be Happy Unless Things Go My Way."
"My Unhappiness Is Somebody Else's Fault."
3.Worldly Lies28
"You Can Have It All."
"My Worth Is Determined by My Performance."
"Life Should Be Easy."
"Life Should Be Fair."
"You Shouldn't Have to Wait for What You Want."
"People Are Basically Good."
4.Marital Lies47
"All My Marital Problems Are My Spouse's Fault."
"If Our Marriage Takes Hard Work, We Must Not Be Right for Each Other."
"My Spouse Can and Should Meet All of My Emotional Needs."
"My Spouse Owes Me (for All I Do)."
"I Shouldn't Have to Change Who I Am to Make Our Marriage Better."
"My Spouse Should Be Like Me."
5.Distortion Lies61
"Magnification: Making a Mountain Out of a Molehill"
"Personalization: Taking Everything Personally"
"Polarization: Making Everything Black or White"
"Selective Abstraction: Missing the Forest for the Trees"
"Overgeneralization: History Always Repeats Itself"
"Emotional Reasoning: Feelings Equal Facts"
6.Religious Lies77
"God's Love Must Be Earned."
"God Hates the Sin and the Sinner."
"Because I'm a Christian, God Will Protect Me from Pain and Suffering."
"All My Problems Are Caused by My Sins."
"It Is My Christian Duty to Meet All the Needs of Others."
"A Good Christian Doesn't Feel Angry, Anxious, or Depressed."
"God Can't Use Me Unless I'm Spiritually Strong."
Part 2Telling Ourselves the Truth101
7.The Truth About the Truth103
8.To Err Is Human116
9.You Can't Please Everyone125
10.There Is No Gain without Pain132
11.You Don't "Have to" Do Anything141
12.The Virtue Lies in the Struggle, Not the Prize149
13.Life Is Difficult158
14.You Reap What You Sow167
15.You Are Not Entitled to Anything176
16.Emotional Pain Is Good185
17.You Are Going to Die194
18.Is There an Ultimate Source of Truth?203
19.The Truth About God and the Truth About You211
Part 3Living the Truth229
20.Doing the Truth231
The Battle for Our Minds The Truth Workout
Week 1Identifying the Lies You Tell Yourself
Week 2Knowing Your A-B-C's
Week 3Challenging Your Lies with the Truth
Week 4Dealing with Past Events
Week 5Overcoming Perfectionism
Week 6Defeating the Need for Approval
Week 7Facing Problems
Week 8Discovering Your Identity and Worth
Week 9Rejecting Your "Have To's"
Week 10Facing Your Own Death
Week 11Being Needy, Meeting Needs
Week 12Developing the Mind of Christ
Epilogue281
Appendix ASecular and Biblical Teachings on the Importance of "Right" Thinking for Emotional and Spiritual Health285
Appendix BSecular and Biblical Truths for Defeating the Lies We Believe287
Appendix CBiblical Support for the Ten Truths Necessary for Emotional and Spiritual Health294
Appendix DBiblical Teachings on Truth303
Appendix ERecommended Readings307
Notes308
About the Author311

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