The Grief Club: The Secret to Getting through All Kinds of Change »

Melody Beattie is best-selling author of numerous books including Codependent No More, Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, More Language of Letting Go, and 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact.

How to move on after a major loss, such as the death of a loved one, the end of a career, or a health crisis.

After author Melody Beattie’s son died, she found herself welcomed into new “club,” a circle of people who had lived through the tragic loss of a child. This was not the first club in which she unwittingly found herself. Years earlier she found herself in Twelve Step groups, first balking, then later embracing the healing principles that she now credits with saving her life. But life, Ms. Beattie writes, is all about change. Not only do loved ones die, but once successful careers can careen out of control and debilitating diseases can rob you of future plans. Smaller losses can take a toll as well. The natural process of aging leaves many people with a depleted sense of worth, and staying abreast with current technologies leaves many people feeling ill-informed and inadequate.

She writes, “There’s a secret to get through loss, pain and grief. If we’re alone we can’t see who we are. When we join the club, other people become the mirror. Through them, we see ourselves and gain an understanding of what we’re going through. Then slowly, real slowly, we learn to accept who we see in the mirror. Then you become the mirror for them; by being honest about who you are, you’ll help them learn to love and accept themselves.”