Stretch: The Unlikely Making of a Yoga Dude »

Neal Pollack is the author of the bestselling memoir Alternadad and several books of satirical fiction, including The Neal Pollack Anthology of American Literature and the rock novel Never Mind the Pollacks. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife and son.

The hilarious true account of an overweight, balding, skeptical guy's unexpected transformation into a healthy, blissful yoga fiend.

Neal Pollack was out of shape. The hair on his head was thinning and the hair on his face was pretentious—traits a New York Times critic gleefully pointed out while panning his second book. Combined with the predestined failure of his punk rock band, it was almost too much for Pollack to bear. He was willing to try anything to get his life back on track . . . even yoga.

While struggling to master difficult poses without kicking other yogis in the face, Pollack actually, remarkably, began to feel better, both in body and mind. Soon he found himself immersed in the "weird and circuslike" world of yoga. He participated in a 24-hour yogathon, attended yoga conferences and Asian retreats, went to yoga rock shows, started getting regular assignments for Yoga Journal magazine, and, finally, began teaching yoga classes himself.

Stretch mercilessly lampoons the bizarre, omnipresent culture of yoga, but it's also a story of profound personal transformation. Pollack started off mocking yoga. Now he's become one of its most enthusiastic proponents.

Acknowledgments viii

Introduction: How Did I Arrive at This Ridiculous Place? x

Part I Find a Comfortable Seat

1 Yet Another Doughy, 35ish White Man 3

2 Smoothly, and with Ease 20

3 The Crystalline Center of the Hard Core 38

4 A Different Kind of Fun 56

5 Yogathon 73

6 Too Many Tibetans 83

Part II Rise Out of the Bayou of Your Pelvis

7 Somebody Seva Me 94

8 Have Mat, Will Travel 115

9 On the Cover of Yoga Journal 140

10 Bikram Begins 172

Part III The Wind Blowing Around Inside of an Idiot

11 Pack Your Bag, I Don't Need the Ag 190

12 Karma, Aligned 208

13 A Great Opportunity to Do Nothing 225

14 A True Quality Journey 237

15 At the Feet of the Dude-Ji 252

16 Ill (Not in a Good Way) 292

17 Club Sutra 304