Screwed Up English: Twisted Translations of the English Language from Around the World »

spot art throughoutHotel sign in Athens, Greece:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.

Menu in Bali, Indonesia:
Toes with butter and jam.

Pack of toy animals sold in Ranong, Thailand:
Be careful of being eaten by small children.

Travelers beware! As the most commonly spoken language in the world, English has reached every corner of the globe-but sometimes the message gets scrambled along the way. Explore the very best (and worst) instances of unintentional communication comedy found in street signs, on menus, and in advertising-often the result of bad translation. Screwed Up English is the perfect traveling companion that proves why you shouldn't always believe what you read.

Charlie Croker is an author and journalist, and so can be relied upon to use the right words, sometimes even in the right order. His previous books include The Little Book of Beckham and A Game of Three Halves. He has written (with the help of a spellchecker) for publications including The Times, The Independent on Sunday, and The Spectator. He lives in the United Kingdom.

Acknowledgements     IV
Introduction     V
Plane Speaking     1
Room for Improvement     9
Driven to Distraction     41
A Healthy Respect for Language     49
Eating Your Words     57
Night-Time is The Right Time     73
Tested to Instruction     77
Transport Trouble     87
Let Me Entertain You     93
And That's Official     103
Shop Soiled     107
All Part of the Package     117
Sign Language     129
Romantic Ramblings     149
Miscellaneous Musings     153