Romance Rehab: 10 Steps to Rescue Your Relationship »

Do you want to forge a deeper, more satisfying relationship with your partnet? A lifelong bond based on love, commitment, communication, support, and joy?

Dr. Jan Hoistad has been showing couples how to rehab their romance through Big Picture Partnering for more than thirty years. In Romance Rehab, she will teach you her innovative 10-Step appraoch to creating a relationship that stays strong because both partners are getting what they most want in life. Once you've completed the 10-Step course, you'll emerge as full-fledged Big Picture Partners, equipped with a set of tools to keep you connected, communicating, and reaching for your dreams together.

The first part of the book asks you to think about your "big picture" as you become acquainted with the three styles of relating that most couples adopt either by default or as a result of prior role modeling. You'll learn how these styles can lead to discontent and dissatifaction. Then you'll be introduced to the Big Picture Partnering style and its benefits.

The second section will teach you the 10 Steps of Successful Partnering as building blocks you add one at a time to your repertoire. They are basic tools you'll practice and use forever to help you resolve problems, keep your relationship rock-solid, and become inventive together.

Throughout the book, you and your partner will be guided in effective exercises. Some exercises will ask you to step back and look at the Big Picture of your relationship what you value, desire, and envision. Others will require that you zoom in and focus on applying your Big Picture aspirations to the daily details of life how you manage everything from household chores and schedules to finances, sexuality and minor disagreements. You'll complete the exercises, writing your goals and taking action steps to accomplish them. Personal anecdotes offer real-life examples of couples rehabbing their romance.

Whether you want to put things right that have gotten off track or deepen an intimate connection, Romance Rehab will help you love and be loved, and to be happy in your most important relationship

Publishers Weekly

Slackers, beware: psychologist Hoistad takes romantic troubles through an active process of rehabilitation that requires readers’ undivided commitment to her 10 steps, exercises, and introspection. There are lots of capital letters (Big Picture Partnering, Our World) and diagrams, but if readers can reap the benefits, they will find help not only for their love lives but for all healthy interactions with others. (Jan.)

Introduction: The Secret of Lasting Love: Your Big Picture Adventure ix

Part I Where Is Your Relationship Now? 1

Chapter 1 Discover Your Relationship Style 3

Chapter 2 The Benefits of Big Picture Partnering 18

Part II The 10 Steps to Your Best Relationship 31

Chapter 3 Step 1: Increase the Positive Between You 32

Chapter 4 Step 2: Talk Regularly and Take Turns Listening 45

Chapter 5 Step 3: Deepen Your Individuality to Strengthen Your Relationship 54

Chapter 6 Step 4: Discover the Depth of Your Commitment 75

Chapter 7 Step 5: Address Any Issue Together-Whether It's Yours, Mine, or Ours 97

Chapter 8 Step 6: Understand How You Manage Conflict 107

Chapter 9 Step 7: Put Your Issues on the Table so They Don't Come Between You 125

Chapter 10 Step 8: Turn Problems into Mutual Goals and Work Toward Them Together 140

Chapter 11 Step 9: Practice the Art of Heartfelt Listening 156

Chapter 12 Step 10: Resolve Conflict and Create New Options Together 169

Conclusion: Continue Your Big Picture Adventure 183

Chapter Notes 193

Resources 199

Acknowledgments 201

Index 203