Quirky, Yes-- Hopeless, No: Practical Tips to Help Your Child with Asperger's Syndrome Be More Socially Accepted » (Original)

CYNTHIA LA BRIE NORALL, PH.D., is a licensed educational psychologist with a Ph.D. in Education. In 2000, she founded the Friends’ Club, based in Carlsbad, California, where she has helped thousands of Asperger’s kids learn basic social skills. BETH WAGNER BRUST is an award-winning author of 13 children’s books and a graduate of Stanford University. Her teenage son has attended the Friends’ Club since fourth grade.

In Quirky, Yes—Hopeless, No, Dr. Cynthia La Brie Norall and Beth Brust present short lessons, structured around specific topics from A-Z that address the social challenges faced by Asperger’s children and teens. Since everyday “people skills” do not come naturally to children with Asperger’s, they need training in such simple activities as:

• How to greet others and make eye contact

•How to let go and move on to new tasks

• How to cooperate and ask for help

•How to pay compliments

•How to discern someone’s true intentions

• How to handle teasing and bullying

• How not to be rude.

Based on Dr. Norall’s twenty years of experience diagnosing and treating thousands with Asperger’s, this book will share her insights gained from helping so many friendless Asperger’s children become more approachable, less stuck, and finally able to make, and keep, a friend or two.

Publishers Weekly

In 2000, educational psychologist Norwall created the Friends' Club, a nonjudgmental, stress-free environment where kids with Asperger's syndrome could learn to communicate effectively, make friends and succeed in social settings. Certain aspects of social awareness-greeting others, asking questions, listening without interruption and looking someone in the eye and smiling-do not come naturally to Asperger's kids, but with guidance, coaching and practice, children can conquer these essential people skills and no longer unintentionally get into trouble because others misunderstand their words or actions. This book, based on Norwall's outreach work, is designed to be a handy, practical guide. Beginning with two chapters of bulleted info and FAQs to explain and identify the signs and symptoms of the condition, it presents 85 Lessons for Decoding Asperger's Children, arranged alphabetically from acceptance, anger and annoying behavior through peer pressure, and even "Telling Your Child He Has Asperger's." Each useful, carefully worded entry addresses kids' behaviors and their parents' concerns, gives examples from real situations and offers suggestions for change or, as is often the case, acceptance. Although a dozen or more experts are cited, the book is conversational in tone, full of insights and will help and encourage parents and their Aspie or high-functioning autistic kids alike. (Aug.)Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Note to the Reader xiii

Acknowledgments xv

Introduction: How Friends' Club Began xvii

About the Experts Cited xxii

Part 1 Asperger's Syndrome and Your Child

What Are the Signs of Asperger's Syndrome? 3

Frequently Asked Questions About Asperger's Syndrome 5

Getting Through to Your Asperger's Child or Teen 12

Diagnosis 16

Parental Sainthood and Your Need for Support 20

Part 2 85 Lessons For Decoding Asperger's Children

Acceptance 27

Acquaintance Versus Friend 29

Admitting When You're Scared 32

Alone Time 34

Anger and Frustration 36

Annoying Behavior 39

Anxiety 41

Apologizing 43

Appearance 46

Asking for Help 49

Awareness 52

Birthday Parties 58

Bluntness and Unintentional Insults 63

Bullying and Bullies 66

Calming Down and Focusing 71

Change and "Change-ups" 73

Compliance 76

Compliments 80

Compromise 83

Conversation 86

Cooperation 92

Courtesy 94

Curiosity About People 97

Dating and Gender Talk 99

Depression 102

Discipline 106

Disorganization 109

Embarrassment 112

Emotions 115

Empathy 119

Eye Contact 122

Fear 127

First Friendships 130

Giving and Handling Money 133

Greetings 135

Grooming and Personal Hygiene 139

Holiday Gatherings 142

Homework 146

Humor 150

Indecision 153

Initiative 156

Intentions 160

Leaving the House 162

Letting Go and Refocusing 165

Listening to Others 168

Literal Language 171

Looking Like You're Paying Attention 174

Losing Gracefully 176

Manners 178

Meltdowns 182

Moving On to New Things 189

Obsessions and Obsessive Behavior 191

Peer Pressure and Avoiding Dares 195

Perfectionism and Unrealistic Expectations 199

Perspectives and Point of View202

Phone Skills 206

Physical Inactivity 209

Problem Solving 212

Reading Minds and Faces 214

Remembering Names 219

Responding to Others 222

Rudeness 224

Rules 228

Sarcasm 231

Self-esteem 233

Selfishness 235

Self-regulation or "Stimming" 237

Sensory Sensitivities 240

Slang and Idioms 246

Social Stories 249

Sportsmanship 254

Staying Calm 257

Strengths and How to Cultivate Them 259

Taking One's Leave 263

Talking with Peers 266

Teamwork 270

Teasing 273

Telling Your Child That He or She Has Asperger's Syndrome 276

Thinking in Pictures and Patterns 280

Time Blindness 284

Travel 287

Vacations and School Breaks 291

Waiting 296

"White Lies" and Sparing Others' Feeling 299

Writing Things Down 302

Part 3 Resources

DSM-IV-TR Diagnostic Criteria for Asperger's Disorder 307

Glossary of Terms 309

Sample E-mail from Parent to Teacher at the Beginning of the School Year 313

Further Information About Bullying 315

Internet Resources 323

Further Reading 326

Games 338

Index 341