Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World » (Original)

ROSALIND WISEMAN is an internationally recognized expert on children, teens, parenting, bullying, social justice, and ethical leadership.

Wiseman is the author of Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence (Crown, 2002). Twice a New York Times Bestseller, Queen Bees & Wannabes was the basis for the 2004 movie Mean Girls. In fall 2009, an updated edition of Queen Bees & Wannabes will be republished with a chapter on younger girls, insights on how technology has impacted kids’ social landscapes, and new commentary from girls and boys. Her follow‐up book Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads was released in 2006, and she is a monthly columnist for Family Circle magazine.

Additional publications include the Owning Up Curriculum, a comprehensive social justice program for grades 6‐12, and a forthcoming young adult novel, Boys, Girls, and Other Hazardous Materials, in stores in January 2010.

Since founding the Empower Program, a national violence‐prevention program, in 1992, Wiseman has gone on to work with tens of thousands of students, educators, parents, counselors, coaches, and administrators to create communities based on the belief that each person has a responsibility to treat themselves and others with dignity. Audiences have included the American School Counselors Association, Capital One, National Education Association, Girl Scouts, Neutrogena, Young Presidents Association, Independent School Associations and the International Chiefs of Police, as well as countless schools throughout the U.S. and abroad.

National media regularly depends on Wiseman as the expert on ethical leadership, media literacy, bullying prevention, and school violence. She is a frequent guest on the Today Show and been profiled in The New York Times, People, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, Washington Post, USA Today, Oprah, Nightline, CNN, Good Morning America, and National Public Radio affiliates throughout the country.

Wiseman holds a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science from Occidental College. She lives in Washington D.C. with her husband and two sons.

When Rosalind Wiseman first published Queen Bees & Wannabes, she fundamentally changed the way adults look at girls’ friendships and conflicts–from how they choose their best friends, how they express their anger, their boundaries with boys, and their relationships with parents. Wiseman showed how girls of every background are profoundly influenced by their interactions with one another.

Now, Wiseman has revised and updated her groundbreaking book for a new generation of girls and explores:

•How girls’ experiences before adolescence impact their teen years, future relationships, and overall success
•The different roles girls play in and outside of cliques as Queen Bees, Targets, and Bystanders, and how this defines how they and others are treated
•Girls’ power plays–from fake apologies to fights over IM and text messages
•Where boys fit into the equation of girl conflicts and how you can help your daughter better hold her own with the opposite sex
•Checking your baggage–recognizing how your experiences impact the way you parent, and how to be sanely involved in your daughter’s difficult, yet common social conflicts

Packed with insights about technology’s impact on Girl World and enlivened with the experiences of girls, boys, and parents, the book that inspired the hit movie Mean Girls offers concrete strategies to help you empower your daughter to be socially competent and treat herself with dignity.

Introduction 1

1 Technology, the Media, and Girl World 21

2 Is It Really Happening So Much Younger? 53

3 Cliques and Popularity 78

4 Passport to Girl World: Communication and Reconnaissance 111

5 The Beauty Pageant: Who Wants to Be Miss Congeniality? 150

6 Mean Girls: Teasing, Gossiping, and Reputations 188

7 Power Plays and Politics: Speaking Truth in Girl World 230

8 Boy World 269

9 Girl World Meets Boy World 290

0 Pleasing Boys, Betraying Yourself 323

11 Sex, Drugs, Alcohol, and Partying in Girl World 361

12 Getting Help 397

Resources 407

Acknowledgments 423

Index 425