Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce »

Joanne Pedro-Carroll, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, researcher, therapist, and clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Rochester Medical Center. Dr. Pedro-Carroll founded and directed the Children of Divorce Intervention Program and her work has earned numerous awards including the American Psychological Association's Award for Distinguished Contributions in Public Service. She has been married for thirty years and is the mother of seven children and stepchildren.

An internationally renowned authority on children and divorce reveals the latest research-based strategies for helping children survive and thrive before, during, and long after their parents divorce.

The breakup of a family can have an enduring impact on children. But as Dr. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll explains with clarity and compassion in this powerful book, parents can positively alter the immediate and long-term effects of divorce on their children. The key is proven, emotionally intelligent parenting strategies that promote children's emotional health, resilience, and ability to lead satisfying lives.

Over the past three decades, Pedro-Carroll has worked with families in transition, conducted research, and developed and directed award- winning, court-endorsed programs that have helped thousands of families navigate divorce and its aftermath. Now she shares practical, research- based advice that helps parents:

•gain a deeper understanding of what their children are experiencing

•develop emotionally intelligent parenting strategies with the critical combination of boundless love and appropriate limits on behavior

•reduce conflict with a former spouse and protect children from conflict's damaging effects

•learn what recent brain research reveals about stress and children's developing capabilities

Filled with the voices and drawings of children and the stories of families, Putting Children First delivers a positive vision for a future of hope and healing.

To Begin ... 1

1 "My Divorce": What Children Say and What They Mean 13

2 Risk and Resilience: The Potential Impact of Divorce over Time 47

3 Telling the Children and Preparing Them for Changes 73

4 Parenting Plans: Positive Approaches to Difficult Decisions 119

5 Taking Control of Conflict and Taking Care of Yourself 169

6 Building Children's Resilience Skills 211

7 Emotionally Intelligent Parenting Before, During, and After Divorce 248

8 New Relationships, Dating, and Remarriage: How the Children See Them 278

9 Life After Divorce: Real Possibilities for Succes 304

Notes 319

Index 333