Category Books

Parents Are Forever: A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming Successful Coparents after Divorce » (REV)

Book cover image of Parents Are Forever: A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming Successful Coparents after Divorce by Shirley A. Thomas

Authors: Shirley A. Thomas
ISBN-13: 9780964637832, ISBN-10: 0964637839
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Atlasbooks Dist Serv
Date Published: January 2004
Edition: REV

Author Biography: Shirley A. Thomas

Shirley Thomas, PhD, is a psychologist in Colorado who has helped thousands of children and parents cope with separation and divorce. She emphasizes coparenting education in her work, and regularly consults with courts about the needs of children. First published in 1995, the revised edition of Parents Are Forever is widely used as a textbook in parenting classes about the needs of children to have two, cooperative parents in their lives after divorce.

Book Synopsis

Parents Are Forever leads parents gently, in step-by-step fashion, toward becoming successful coparents after divorce. Based on the grief recovery model, this book tells moms and dads exactly what they need to do to help the children they love cope with changes in their lives.Parents are shown how to have business meetings, how to create a parenting plan, and how to keep their childrens' needs as their first priority while they transition to a new kind of family.

	Introduction	1
Part 1	The Task Ahead	3
	For Parents Who End a Marriage
	For Parents Who Never Married
Step 1	Recognizing the Parent Divorce as a Loss	5
	Stages of Grief as They Relate to Separation
	Understanding Blame
	Grief in Adults
	Grief in Children
	Acknowledging that Conflict Hurts Children
Step 2	Sharing Responsibility and Letting Go	17
	Getting Past Marital Issues
Step 3	Putting Your Child First	21
	Identifying Stress Reactions
	Analyzing Anger
	Neutralizing Angry Feelings
Step 4	Making a Commitment to Coparent	29
	Parents Divorce, But Children Do Not
	Mothers and Fathers Parent Differently
	The Responsibility of Childcare Needs to be Shared
	Parental Alienation
Part 2	The Restructured Family	37
Step 5	Communicating With Your Child	39
	Talking About Divorce
	Listening for Feelings
Step 6	Forming a Business Relationship	47
	Bargaining
	Reframing
	Cognitive Dissonance
	Refusals to Coparent
	Abuse and Domestic Violence
Step 7	Structuring the Coparent Meeting	57
	What is a Coparent Meeting
	Before the Divorce is Final
	After the Divorce is Final
	Rules of Procedure
	Negotiation
Part 3	Creating a Parenting Plan	65
Step 8	Learning the Guiding Principles	67
	Minimize Loss
	Make Small Changes
	Make Gradual Changes
Step 9	Completing the Coparent Checklist	71
	Coparent Decisions
	Completing the Agreement
Step 10	Determining Parenting Time Patterns	89
	Parenting Time Plans According to Age and Developmental Level
	Other Factors to Consider
	Suggested Routines
	Time Sharing Difficulties
	Transition Adjustment Reactions
	Parenting Time Refusals
Step 11	Customizing the Coparent Plan	115
	One-on-One Time
	Other Considerations
Step 12	Making the Most of Parenting Time	123
	Parenting Roles
	Quality Parenting Time
	Structuring Parenting Time
	Long-Distance Parenting
Step 13	Solving Common Problems	131
	Communication Breakdowns
	Emotional Exchanges
	Money Problems
	Disagreements About Discipline
	When Chldren Come Between Parents
	A Missing Parent Reappears
	Stepfamiy Complications
Part 4	Living the Concept of Cooperative Parenting	139
Step 14	Accepting a Less Than Perfect Result	141
Step 15	Getting Help When You Need It	145
	Mediation
	Parent Coordination
	Therapy
Step 16	Keeping the Commitment to Coparenting	151
	Visualizing Your Future
	Recognizing the Joys of Harmony
Part 5	Communication Skills for Now and Forever	155
	Parallel Parenting	156
Appendix	Sample Parenting Plan	173
	References	179