Men Are Pigs, but We Love Bacon: Not-So-Straight Answers from America's Most Outrageous Gay Sex Columnist »

Yes, you'll get all your burning and why-is-it-burning questions answered, but the advice is coming from a son-of-a-bitch with a breathtaking gift for the gratuitous insult.

In these pages, you'll find medical answers to everything from how you can ejaculate farther to how you can take--ahem--more cargo on your loading dock. Alvear answers questions with the compassion of a caffeine addict out of coffee, lining up a panel of doctors and psychologists against the wall and beating the truth out of them. The result is a marriage of impeccably accurate information, politically incorrect opinion and withering sarcasm.

Because the questions come from gay men all over the country, they're like a peephole into the anxieties, concerns and worries that gay men have about sex.

Here's a sampling of what you'll learn:

• Only 6% of the population need extra-large condoms. Get over it.
• The average erect penis is 5. I" long and 4.8" around. Unless you're in a chat room. Then double it.
• Kegel exercises will give you harder hard-ons and more powerful orgasms. But then, so will an 18-year-old.
• 50% of men on anti-depressants experience sexual side effects. And no, having an affair is not considered a side effect you can blame on medicine

With buzz-saw wit, Men Are Pigs, But We Love Bacon will leave you laughing, howling, and knowing everything you need to know about sex.