Loving an Adult Child of an Alcoholic »

Distrust, fear of abandonment, and sensitivity to criticism are just a few of the traits found in adult children of alcoholics. This book is for the spouse or significant other to the adult child, and helps partners better understand the underlying causes of adult neuroses whose seeds were planted by growing up with an alcoholic parent. Douglas and Deborah Bey help couples recognize these patterns and offer suggestions for changing them so that they may enjoy a deeper, more meaningful relationship.

Acknowledgments     ix
Introduction     1
You Aren't Reading This by Accident     7
Entering the "Mind Field"     29
Putting the "Fun" Back in Dysfunction     53
The Push-Pull of Commitment and Trust     65
The Paradox of Chronic Tension     79
He Had a Hat     91
They Don't Know They're Beautiful     103
Mountains from Molehills     113
You Get to Make the "Important Decisions" and Your ACOA Makes the Rest     121
Nurturing Your Partner's Inner Child     127
Too Nice     135
Parenting Is Scary for Most People-Especially Your Adult Child     149
ACOAs Frequently Dread Social Occasions     161
Birds of a Feather     173
Tending to Your Relationship     181
Dealing with Addiction Problems     189
Religion Helps Us     199
Conclusion     213
Resources     219
Index     225