Little Girls Can Be Mean: Four Steps to Bully-proof Girls in the Early Grades »

Dr. Michelle Anthony, an expert in developmental psychology, is mother to three young children, two girls and a boy. She is a certified K-3 teacher and president and cofounder of Wide-Eyed Learning, a company devoted to facilitating communication and learning between parents and children. She is also a columnist for Scholastic’s Parent and Child magazine. Dr. Anthony holds a B.A. in Education from Brown University, an M.A. in child studies from Tufts University, and a Ph.D. in developmental psychology from University of California at Berkeley. She lives in Centennial, Colorado.

Dr. Reyna Lindert, also an expert in developmental psychology, is mother to three young children, two girls and a boy. She is a certified parent educator and vice president and cofounder of Wide-Eyed Learning. She holds a B.S. in human development and family studies from Cornell University, and an M.A. and Ph.D. in developmental psychology from University of California at Berkeley. She lives in Beaverton, Oregon.

Worried about mean girls? Help your daughter respond and react to bullying where it starts—-in elementary school

As experts in developmental psychology and each a mother of three, Dr. Michelle Anthony and Dr. Reyna Lindert began noticing an alarming pattern of social struggle among girls as young as five, including their own daughters. In today’s world, it is likely that your daughter has been faced with bullying and friendship issues, too—-and perhaps you’re at a loss for how to guide her through these situations effectively. Little Girls Can Be Mean is the first book to tackle the unique social struggles of elementary-aged girls, giving you the tools you need to help your daughter become stronger, happier, and better able to enjoy her friendships at school and beyond.

Dr. Anthony and Dr. Lindert offer an easy-to-follow, 4-step plan to help you become a problem-solving partner with your child, including tips and insights that girls can use on their own to confront social difficulties in an empowered way. Whether your daughter is just starting grade school or is already on her way to junior high, you’ll learn how to:

OBSERVE the social situation with new eyes CONNECT with your child in a new way GUIDE your child with simple, compassionate strategies SUPPORT your daughter to act more independently to face the social issue

By focusing squarely on the issues and needs of girls in the years before adolescence, Little Girls Can Be Mean is the essential, go-to guide for any parent or educator of girls in grades K-6.

Acknowledgments xiii

A Note to Readers xvii

About the Authors xix

I Laying the Foundation: The Four-Step Approach

1 The Rise of Social Cruelty 3

2 How Can I Help My Daughter or Student? 24

What Is Bullying? 26

Building the Foundation 28

Facing Tough Situations 29

Following the Four-Step Plan 30

Step 1 Observe 32

Step 2 Connect 34

Step 3 Guide 40

Step 4 Support to Act 44

Integrating the Four Steps 50

How Long Will This All Take? 52

3 Think, Share, Do…Activity Bank for Part I 54

Step 1 Observe 56

Step 2 Connect 58

Step 3 Guide 62

Step 4 Support to Act 68

II The Heart of the Matter: Applying the Four Steps to Real Situations Faced by Real Girls

4 Side by Side: Best Friends, Worst Enemies 77

Dealing with a Turf War 78

When Best Friends Pull Away 93

Yo-Yo Friendships 106

5 Going Along with the Gang 125

When Girls Struggle to Fit In 126

When Girls Struggle with Feeling "Different" 138

When Girls Struggle with Going Along with the Group 150

When the Group Turns Against Your Child 162

6 All Girls Can Be Mean: When Your Daughter Is Acting Like a Mean Girl 179

There Are Two Sides to Every Story 180

The Power Rush of Popularity 195

When Girls Struggle with Following the Group 211

7 Think, Share, Do…Activity Bank for Part II 229

Step 1 Observe 229

Step 2 Connect 232

Step 3 Guide 235

Step 4 Support to Act 241

III Wrapping Up: Using the Four Steps in Your Home, School, or Office

The Difference Between "Younger" and "Older" Girls 256

Facing All Kinds of Issues, Together 259

She Is Not Alone 262

Appendices

1 Bully Stories for Home or School 265

2 "What-If" Scenarios 267

3 Activities That Follow the Four Steps 269

Teacher Tips 269

Tips for Girls 271

Think, Share, Do… 272

Notes 273

Index 275