Category Books

I'm the Other Man in My Own Marriage!: A Frustrating and Funny Look at Family Living »

Authors: Howard Noel
ISBN-13: 9780595154593, ISBN-10: 059515459X
Format: Paperback
Publisher: iUniverse, Incorporated
Date Published: December 2000
Edition: (Non-applicable)

Author Biography: Howard Noel

Book Synopsis

Not since Erma Bombeck has the humorous side of daily living been given such a stage. "I'm the Other Man in My Own Marriage" is a hilarious look at parents trying to relate to their teenagers, husbands trying to relate to their wives, and neighbors trying not to upset their peace by relating too much to anyone.

Here is where you come to learn how to teach sex ed at the hardware store; how to stage a "budget" wedding like that of say, Princess Grace or "Lady Di;" or how to choose a good restaurant, where the "House Red" is something more than ketchup.

Syndicated columnist Howard Noel has drawn from his weekly humor column "The Front Porch" in order to bring to us this dubious blue print for daily living. His characters are his family, neighbors, and of course the venerable Uncle Merle who stands as a "signpost" of common sense and wry wit.

	Dedication	v
	Preface	vii
	Introduction	ix
	Key to a Great Vacation: Take Half the Baggage and Twice the Money	1
	Parents Are the Last People Who Should Have Children	4
	Cinnamon Rolls Should Be a Separate Food Group	7
	A Good Neighbor Lets His Grass Grow As Long As Yours	10
	You're Not Getting Older. You're Just Getting...Older	12
	It Doesn't Matter How Well You Play Bagpipes...It Still Sounds Like You're Practicing	14
	It's Always the Guy Who's Winning That Says Golf Is "Only A Game"	16
	Spending Time with Your Kids: How Else Is a Parent to Learn Life's Lessons?	18
	Princess Grace: The Last of Economy-Class Weddings	20
	Do the Roaches Come Under The "No Pets" Clause?	22
	I'm the Other Man in My Own Marriage	25
	Real Men Don't Even Know How to Make Quiche	27
	"Righteous Indignation": Getting Mad without Swearing	29
	How Much Is This Conversation Costing Me?	31
	A New Kind of Sunday Sermon	34
	Of Text Books and Bank Books	37
	Abandon All Hope, You Who Press "Enter" Here	39
	How to Cook for Children or Raisin Bran without Raisins Is Just Wheaties	42
	Real Cowboys Don't Line Dance	45
	The 21st Century Dating Game or Dr. Kildare with a Nose Ring	47
	"A Rose by Any Other Name..."	50
	"Because It's There": A Wimp's Look at Extreme Sports	52
	Father's Day Is Like Mother's Day--But the Presents Are Cheaper	55
	It Could Be the Guy with the Green Thumb Is Just a Bad Painter	58
	A Fine Gourmand Willshare His Culinary Secrets	60
	A Grandpa Is Only As Old As He Looks--Before Breakfast	63
	An Engagement Is That Time of Life When A Person Is Neither Married Nor Single	65
	From Our Dogs We Learn Fidelity, Honor, and to Turn Around Three Times Before Lying Down	67
	A Field Guide for the Weekend Warrior	69
	The High School Reunion Survival Guide or "Try to Imagine Me with Hair"	71
	Indecision Is the Key to Flexibility	73
	"Stone Walls Do not a Prison Make." You Also Need a Well Stocked Refrigerator	75
	Job Security: Or "How Long Have You Been with the Company...not Counting Tomorrow?"	78
	Falling off the Turnip Truck	81
	Now You Say It...Now You Don't	83
	My Son Never Took Mind-Expanding Drugs--I Can Tell by His Grades	86
	Teching Honesty or One Good Lie Requires Another	88
	Mary and Joseph Must Have Had My Medical Plan	90
	Are You the Opposite Sex.?...or Am I?	92
	An Optimist Will Spend His Last Dollar to Buy A New Wallet	94
	"What We Have Here Is a Failure to Communicate"	97
	Brother Can You Spare Eighty Thousand?	100
	Some of the Best Years of My Life Were When I Was 29 or You Know You've Reached Middle Age When...	102
	How to Choose a Good Restaurant--Where the "House Red is Something Besides Tomato Juice	105
	Parent-Child Relationships: "Exploitation" Is Such a Relative Term	108
	"Why Do They Always Ask If That Was My First Kiss?" or Questions Best Left Unanswered	110
	It Takes 3 Sheep to Make 1 Sweater. and I'll Bet You Didn't Know Sheep Could Knit	113
	True Love...or Mid-Life Crisis?	115
	Tax Loopholes: A Whole New Meaning for "Untold" Wealth	117
	A Teacher Comes out of the Closet	119
	The Facts of Life? Try the Hardware Store	121
	"Driving" Your Kids Crazy	123
	"Alexander, Come Here; We Need You"	125
	Track and Field: It's More Than Just Getting Sick	128
	All The World Loves A Lover--Except Maybe Those Waiting to Use the Phone	130
	Forget Palm Springs...Try Mercury	132
	Winter Blues? Try Lots of Rest, Exercise, and a Stiff Belt	134
	Teaching Children the Basics or Oatmeal Is not a Finger Food	136
	About the Author	139