I Love You, but I'm Not IN Love with You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship »

Andrew G. Marshall is a marital therapist with twenty years experience. He works for RELATE, the UK's leading couple-counseling charity, and writes on relationships for The Times, Observer and Sunday Express.

If the relationship you have with your significant other is defined more by companionship than passion . . . if you love each other deeply but are not deeply in love . . . if you feel that something's missing or is no longer there . . . then you could be experiencing ILYB (I Love You, But . . .).

In I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You --a real-life relationship guide from couples' counselor Andrew G. Marshall--partners and individuals who have 'fallen out of love' or want to rekindle the love that once was will learn how to use Marshall 's program with impressive results.

This is a much-needed book to help men and women of all ages in any type of committed romantic relationship to truly understand love and to point out the everyday habits that undermine growing together. Marshall's research is one of the few that delves into what causes relationships to 'cool' or for emotions to be 'dulled.' So much more than a quick-fix guide, I Love You, but I'm Not In Love with You empowers couples to emerge with a better understanding of themselves and each other, and ultimately build a stronger, more passionate bond.

Learn how to:

• Argue productively and address the core of the issue

• Employ the trigger words for more effective communication

• Find a balance between being fulfilled as an individual and being one half of a couple

• Discover if the ILYB is simply a symptom of a workable problem

• Take your sex life to a deeper level of intimacy

• Create new bonds instead of searching for the old ones

Introduction     vii
The Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship
Understand     2
What Is Love, Anyway?     3
The Six Stages of a Relationship     23
Argue     44
Why Arguing Is Good for Your Relationship     45
How to Have the Right Type of Arguments     61
Target     81
Do You Both Speak the Same Language of Love?     83
Play     100
How to Boost Real Intimacy     101
Take Responsibility     121
Identity-Does Loving You Stop Me from Being Myself?     123
Is It the Relationship or Something Else?     143
Giving     166
The Theory of Tipping Points     167
Learning     182
The Six Special Skills of Successful Couples     183
If Your Relationship Has Reached Crisis Point
Having the "I Love You, but" Conversation/Hearing the "I Love You, but" Confession     197
Coping Day to Day     217
Dealing with Guilt     233
After the Crisis
How to Truly Bond Again     247
If Worse Comes to Worst: Making Sense of Endings     265
How to Fly High Again     277
Conclusion     291
Index     293