How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup: A Guy's Guide to the World of Infertility »

After college, Greg Wolfe spent time with the Groundlings and Acme Theatre improv groups in Los Angeles. He lives in Hollywood with his wife, Julie, a screenwriter. After several years of treatments and four cycles of IVF, they are the proud parents of a healthy baby boy.

The man's guide to anything and everything in the infertility universe

Greg Wolfe went through four cycles of IVF on his rocky journey to fatherhood—and now, with profound sympathy and side-splitting humor, he lays it all out for guys on similar baby-making quests. How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup is not your typical nuts and bolts (no pun intended) medical guide but a helpful handbook designed specifically with the male partner in mind, with answers to his most pressing questions about the infertility process, including:

• Why are boxers better than briefs?
• How can hamsters help determine what's wrong with my sperm?
• My wife's already moody enough—why am I injecting her with even more hormones?
• Is it necessary for me to fill the whole cup at the fertility clinic?

From understanding a woman's cycle to "porn etiquette" at the clinic, How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup has everything a man needs to know to get the job done!

Publishers Weekly

Although infertility is no laughing matter for most couples, screenwriter Wolfe, writing from personal experience, turns it into a one-night standup act in which words such as "follicular" and "luteal" become punch lines to wink-and-nudge stories. With chapter titles such as "It's not over till it's ova," "sperm-a-lot," and ""what a prick!" Wolfe tries to lead men through the maze of medical terminology and procedures designed to overcome infertility. For example, he provides step-by-step instructions on how to inject your wife with fertility drugs, and he offers advice ("prepare to chafe, badly"; "you don't have to fill the whole cup"; how to deposit one's sperm in an IVF clinic). Wolfe's need to make a joke out of every little step along the way grows quickly tiresome and precious and regrettably ends up making too much light of a serious issue. (Sept.)

Foreword vii

Author's Note ix

Introduction xi

1 Begin by Putting Tab "A" into Slot "B" 1

2 Basic Biology for Complete and Utter Dummies (No Offense) 7

3 You Need to know about this...Period 21

4 Let's All Play the Blame Game! 39

5 Great. Now What the Hell are we Supposed to do? 55

6 IVF: It's very Frustrating! 71

7 Sperm-A-Lot 109

8 Real Men Don't Cry (However, they do Sometimes Quietly Sob into Their Pillows) 123

9 What a Prick! 135

10 Okay, Seriously, This $#!% Ain't Working! 161

11 Re: Your Choice of Fertility Doctor 173

12 So Will you be using Cash, Credit, or your Home Equity Line? 187

13 Finally!! 199

Afterword: Aka "Post-Partum Impressions" 211

Acknowledgments 215

Glossary 217

Endnotes 231

Index 233