How We Survived Prostate Cancer: What We Did and What We Should Have Done »

Victoria Hallerman's books of poetry include The Aerialist and The Woman in the Magic Show. Her work has appeared in numerous literary magazines and been anthologized in The Pushcart Prize. Now a committed health activist in her local chapter of Man to Man, a national prostate cancer survivor support network, she is also co-founder of What About Me?, an American Cancer Society support group for men and women whose partners are cancer patients or survivors. She and her husband, Dean, live in New York City.

Finally, a much-needed voice for the spouses and partners of prostate cancer survivors an unflinchingly honest and beautifully written memoir about one couple's struggles and transformation that serves as a guide for others dealing with the disease.

Facts:

• Prostate cancer is the most common cancer, other than skin cancers, in American men.
• 90% of the 190,000 men diagnosed annually will be cured.
• 2 million men currently live as survivors.

Though many sources exist for men dealing with this dreaded disease, their partners are often left on their own to figure out how to deal with personality changes and sudden male menopause, how to redefine love and intimacy, and how to deal with side effects of the treatment.

Victoria Hallerman, an accomplished poet, writes candidly about her and her husband's experience over the last five years, including sections in his voice as well. A manual for surviving what treatments can do to a marriage, her book is both a compelling narrative and a supportive and informational guidebook. It's sure to be a boon to the enormous and ever-growing group of wives and partners of prostate cancer survivors who, like the author, need to be able to answer the question Who are we now?

Publishers Weekly

Starred Review.

More than just a personal memoir, this tour of duty from the wife of a prostate cancer survivor is packed with critical information on the nature of the disease, current treatment options and the process of choosing a physician. Both as individuals and a couple, the hallermans made many mistakes-first among them was dean's decision to hide his diagnosis from his wife-and this guide benefits enormously from their honesty (poet victoria narrates, dean contributes short personal asides). From treatment decisions made without adequate information to the drastic changes in their sex life, hallerman is blunt and unflinching regarding their mortal and marital crises, and explicit in her advice to avoid despair, self-blame and isolation. Thorough, clearly written glossary and appendices cover treatments, side effects, resources for information and support, current research and a checklist of "must do's" from dean's current urologist (who also provides a foreword). Though dean suffered horribly before finding a doctor and regimen that worked for him, this moving and highly useful book proves his setbacks were not in vain.
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