He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys » (Unabridged)

Comedian Greg Behrendt was a consultant for three consecutive seasons on Sex and the City. His acclaimed stand-up comedy has been seen on HBO, Comedy Central Presents..., The Tonight Show, Late Show with David Letterman, and Late Night with Conan O'Brien. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife and daughter.

Liz Tuccillo was an executive story editor of HBO's Emmy-winning Sex and the City and has also written for Off Broadway. She is currently living and dating in New York City.

He says:

Oh sure, they say they're busy. They say that they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. All lies. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing, it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don't even mean to. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.

She says:

There is something great about knowing that my only job is to be as happy as I can be about my life, and feel as good as I can about myself, and to lead as full and eventful a life as I can, so that it doesn't ever feel like I'm just waiting around for some guy to ask me out. And most importantly, it's good for us all to remember that we don't need to scheme and plot, or beg anyone to ask us out. We're fantastic.

For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men.

He's afraid to get hurt again.
Maybe he doesn't want to ruin the friendship.
Maybe he's intimidated by me.
He just got out of a relationship.

Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that -- despite good intentions -- you're wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages.

The truth may be He's just not that into you.

Unfortunately guys are too terrified to ever directly tell a woman, "You're not the one." But their actions absolutely show how they feel.

He's Just Not That Into You -- based on a popular episode of Sex and the City -- educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship.

Reexamining familiar scenarios and classic mindsets that keep us in unsatisfying relationships, Behrendt and Tuccillo's wise and wry understanding of the sexes spares women hours of waiting by the phone, obsessing over the details with sympathetic girlfriends, and hoping his mixed messages really mean "I'm in love with you and want to be with you."

He's Just Not That Into You is provocative, hilarious, and, above all, intoxicatingly liberating. It deserves a place on every woman's night table. It knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better. The next time you feel the need to start "figuring him out," consider the glorious thought that maybe He's just not that into you. And then set yourself loose to go find the one who is.

School Library Journal

Adult/High School-With a bright, breezy style, the authors highlight a list of actions that men take to demonstrate that they are "just not into you," using "Dear Greg" letters and replies, unscientific polls of men, lists reviewing the key points in each chapter, a comic glossary, and laugh-out-loud workbook assignments. Although this book is meant for the 20-plus career women who have been dating for a while, the empowering message that a woman deserves a man who truly loves her and not one that she must constantly make excuses for can't be learned too early.-Jane S. Drabkin, Chinn Park Regional Library, Woodbridge, VA Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.

table of contents

Introduction by Liz

Introduction by Greg

You Are All Dating the Same Guy

1 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Asking You Out

2 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Calling You

3 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Dating You

4 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Not Having Sex with You

5 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Having Sex with Someone Else

6 He's Just Not That Into You If He Only Wants to See You When He's Drunk

7 He's Just Not That Into You If He Doesn't Want to Marry You

8 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Breaking Up with You

9 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Disappeared on You

10 He's Just Not That Into You If He's Married (and Other Insane Variations of Being Unavailable)

11 He's Just Not That Into You If He's a Selfish Jerk, a Bully, or a Really Big Freak

12 Don't Listen to These Stories

13 Now What Do You Do?

14 Q&A with Greg

15 Closing Remarks from Greg

16 Closing Remarks from Liz