Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On -- Together or Apart »

Douglas K. Snyder, PhD, is Professor of Psychology and Director of Clinical Training at Texas A&M University. He received the American Psychological Association’s award for Distinguished Contributions to Family Psychology for his research on marital satisfaction and therapy. He lives in College Station, Texas, where he also has a private practice.

Donald H. Baucom, PhD, is Professor of Psychology at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill. His research, funded in part by the National Institutes of Health, focuses on couples and marriage. He lives in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, and was ranked as one of the top marital therapists and researchers in the United States by Good Housekeeping’s national survey of mental health professionals.

Kristina Coop Gordon, PhD, is Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology at the University of Tennessee. Her research focuses on forgiveness, infidelity, and couple therapy. In addition to her academic work, she lives and maintains a private practice in Knoxville, Tennessee.

Discovering that a partner has been unfaithful hits you like an earthquake. Long after the first jolt, emotional aftershocks can make it difficult to be there for your family, manage your daily life, and think clearly about your options. Whether you want to end the relationship or piece things back together, Getting Past the Affair guides you through the initial trauma so you can understand what happened and why before deciding how to move forward. Based on the only program that’s been tested--and proven--to relieve destructive emotions in the wake of infidelity, this compassionate book offers support and expert advice from a team of award-winning couple therapists. If you stay with your spouse, you’ll find realistic tips for rebuilding your marriage and restoring trust. But no matter which path you choose, you’ll discover effective ways to recover personally, avoid lasting scars, and pursue healthier relationships in the future.

Deborah Bigelow - Library Journal

Snyder (psychology, Texas A&M Univ.), Donald H. Baucom (psychology, Univ. of North Carolina), and Kristina Coop Gordon (clinical psychology, Univ. of Tennessee) have designed a program to help couples overcome an affair, understand why it happened, and consider their best options. A particularly helpful chapter supplies suggestions for talking to children, family members, and friends. Somewhat more clinical than Steven D. Solomon and Lorie J. Teagno's Intimacy After Infidelitybut full of case studies and examples for applying the information; recommended for all public libraries.

Acknowledgments     ix
Introduction     1
How Do We Stop Hurting?
What's Happening to Us?     9
How Do We Get Through the Day?     29
How Do We Talk with Each Other?     53
How Do We Deal with Others?     85
How Do We Care for Ourselves?     115
How Did This Happen?
Why Stir Everything Up?     137
Was My Marriage to Blame?     158
Was It the World Around Us?     187
How Could My Partner Have Done This?     205
What Was My Role?     232
How Do I Make Sense of It All?     255
Can This Marriage Be Saved?
How Do I Get Past the Hurt?     273
Can This Marriage Be Saved?     293
What Lies Ahead?     319
Additional Resources     329
Index     331
About the Authors     342