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Fathers Book: Being a Good Dad in the 21st Century »
Authors: David Cohen
ISBN-13: 9780470841334, ISBN-10: 0470841338
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Wiley, John & Sons, Incorporated
Date Published: December 2001
Edition: (Non-applicable)
Author Biography: David Cohen
Book Synopsis
What does being a dad in the 21st Century really mean?
Men today want to play an active role in the upbringing of their children; that means knowing how to cope with them, play with them, control them and love them.
Becoming a father however, can be an extremely daunting prospect, after all it is completely uncharted territory.
This wonderful book is not only for expectant and new fathers but covers the whole range of issues dads encounter from conception through to teenage traumas. Situations such as step-fatherhood and the changing relationship with partners are also discussed in a sensitive and informative style. The stresses imposed by modern lifestyles on fathers and kids are looked at as well as the problems and benefits encountered by the fact that kids today are often very sophisticated and clued-up.
Chapters include:
* I'm Going to be a Dad
* Bonding for Fathers
* Discipline
* Learning to Play Again
* Teenage Traumas
Written in a light-hearted yet informative style, and including numerous interviews with fathers themselves, this book reflects the latest thinking and theories on how to be a good father.
Table of Contents
| About the author | xi | |
| Acknowledgements | xiii | |
| Introduction | 1 | |
| Never too young to leave home | 4 | |
| What psychology teaches us about fathering | 6 | |
| Good enough fathering | 11 | |
| Quiz | 12 | |
| Answers to quiz | 24 | |
| 1 | A history of fathers | 29 |
| Woody Allen versus history | 30 | |
| Sacrificing the son | 31 | |
| Honour thy father but don't expect too much from the old man | 35 | |
| The involved father | 36 | |
| Fathers know best ... the behaviourist father | 38 | |
| The useless-at-parties syndrome | 40 | |
| Cross-cultural | 41 | |
| Five-star fathers | 42 | |
| The natural father | 44 | |
| Savvy kids | 46 | |
| Domestic violence and involvement | 47 | |
| 2 | I'm going to be a dad | 51 |
| The ignorant father | 53 | |
| The government helps | 54 | |
| 'Your're pregnant?--how do I feel' | 55 | |
| You never wanted my child | 56 | |
| The process of pregnancy | 58 | |
| Sex | 59 | |
| The run-up to the birth | 59 | |
| Human bonding | 62 | |
| Some surprising abilities of the newborn baby | 64 | |
| Imitating others ... it starts very young | 66 | |
| Try this during your baby's first 24 hours | 68 | |
| The safety of the newborn | 69 | |
| Share the care | 69 | |
| I'd murder for a good night's sleep | 71 | |
| The bureaucracy of birth | 72 | |
| Pictures are for ever | 72 | |
| 3 | The growth of the mind | 75 |
| The first two stages of development according to Piaget | 77 | |
| The sensorimotor stage--roughly from birth to 2 years of age | 78 | |
| Meaning to do things | 79 | |
| The truth about objects | 81 | |
| Does memory start in the womb? | 82 | |
| Priming the primacy--not the same thing | 84 | |
| Childhood amnesia | 85 | |
| Learning to speak | 86 | |
| I really don't want to seem a fool | 89 | |
| The mysteries of mirrors | 89 | |
| The personality of small children | 90 | |
| Key factors in exuberance versus withdrawal | 91 | |
| What's normal? | 92 | |
| Good enough fathering | 93 | |
| A good enough walk in the park | 94 | |
| The egocentric child in the preoperational period--2-7 roughly | 95 | |
| Ten little buttons | 96 | |
| Your child's IQ--does it matter? | 97 | |
| Read, read, read | 100 | |
| Silly photographs--an important bonding tool | 101 | |
| My daughter is a princess, my son is a genius | 102 | |
| 4 | Pretending, playing and lying | 103 |
| The birth of a pretender | 105 | |
| Dad as a playmaster | 106 | |
| Lying, pretending and false beliefs | 108 | |
| My child is a real person--what do I do now? | 109 | |
| I wish, I want, I like, I think | 111 | |
| False beliefs | 113 | |
| If your child doesn't play--the mystery and misery of autism | 114 | |
| Getting away with laughter | 117 | |
| Personality | 118 | |
| Sex roles | 119 | |
| How children don't lie brilliantly | 120 | |
| A psychologist teaches his daughter how to lie | 122 | |
| Have fun with your kids | 123 | |
| 5 | Do as I say ... | 125 |
| Quiz | 128 | |
| Bad from birth | 132 | |
| Mastering the body | 134 | |
| Masturbation | 135 | |
| Individual family | 136 | |
| The pressure on parents | 137 | |
| BP shares are down--thwack ... | 139 | |
| The holy slipper and the holy cane | 141 | |
| A history of the cane and carrot | 142 | |
| Styles of discipline | 146 | |
| The use of authoritative parenting | 147 | |
| Bullying | 150 | |
| How to question children | 151 | |
| The mousetrap but not by Agatha Christie | 153 | |
| Not picking up the clues children give | 154 | |
| Lessons for fathers | 154 | |
| Basic anger management | 155 | |
| Answers to quiz | 158 | |
| 6 | School and the mind | 161 |
| The No. 15 bus and good enough fathering | 162 | |
| The absent father syndrome | 166 | |
| Brains aren't for gentlemen | 168 | |
| The shape of the individual mind | 169 | |
| Verbal, numerical, spatial, practical, musical, performance intelligences all | 171 | |
| Vitamins and intelligence | 174 | |
| Keeping tabs on school | 174 | |
| Attention-deficit disorder | 175 | |
| Loads of logic | 176 | |
| Talk is good | 178 | |
| The father--child mismatch disaster | 178 | |
| Time | 179 | |
| 7 | You're not my real dad--stepfathers and part-time fathers | 183 |
| Too little research into stepfamilies | 184 | |
| Stress and stepdads | 186 | |
| Trust versus mistrust | 189 | |
| The rules of the house | 190 | |
| A room at the top | 194 | |
| Co-parenting problems | 195 | |
| How to survive as a stepdad | 195 | |
| Why socks don't obey the laws of gravity but their movements can also be explained | 197 | |
| The part-time dad | 198 | |
| Freud and violence | 199 | |
| 8 | Heartache | 203 |
| Cracking younger | 205 | |
| The state of young depression | 206 | |
| Suicide and attempted suicide | 207 | |
| Voices | 210 | |
| Anger | 212 | |
| Is it right to label | 213 | |
| Stress and the child | 214 | |
| Drink and drugs | 215 | |
| Eating disorders | 216 | |
| Medication | 218 | |
| The attraction/distraction of guilt | 218 | |
| Physical problems | 220 | |
| 9 | Relationship carry-on | 221 |
| Marital satisfaction | 223 | |
| Fathers, sons and relationships | 224 | |
| Parents and paranoia | 225 | |
| Excuse me, I have to snore | 226 | |
| Carry on couple--of clematis and clitoris | 230 | |
| 10 | The price of being a father | 233 |
| Marketing to kids and stress | 235 | |
| Pester power | 236 | |
| Children, advertising | 238 | |
| Eat my shorts--the creativity of children in relation to brands | 241 | |
| 11 | Teenage traumas | 245 |
| Problems of puberty | 246 | |
| How to be a teenager according to masterpieces | 248 | |
| Erik Erikson | 249 | |
| Teenagers and toddlers | 250 | |
| Personal photographs | 252 | |
| Explaining boundaries | 253 | |
| Don't exaggerate the differences? | 254 | |
| Taboo topix | 255 | |
| Research on isolation | 257 | |
| Conclusion | 261 | |
| 12 | The dependency paradox | 263 |
| Will they ever leave home? | ||
| The outre outer suburbs | 264 | |
| The wish for the replica | 268 | |
| References | 273 | |
| Useful addresses | 279 | |
| Index | 281 |
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