Disagreements, Disputes and All-Out War: 3 Simple Steps for Dealing with Any Kind of Conflict »

Gini Graham Scott, Ph.D. (Oakland, CA) is the Founder and Director of Changemakers and the author of many books, including A Survival Guide for Working with Bad Bosses (978-0-8144-7298-9), and A Survival Guide for Working with Humans (978-0-8144-7205-7). Frequently sought out by the media, she has been interviewed for Good Morning America , Oprah, Geraldo at Large, Montel Williams , The O’Reilly Factor, The New York Times, Glamour, and Cosmopolitan.

The potential for conflict exists in every interaction. But when one doesn't know how to deal with these disagreements constructively, they can escalate into unproductive and even destructive situations. The key is not to avoid conflict, but to recognize and manage it skillfully to produce the best possible outcome. In this powerful and practical guide, author Gini Graham Scott shows readers how to identify the reason for the conflict, recognize and control the emotional factors, and find the best solution. Disagreements, Disputes, and All-Out War offers a simple but proven system for resolving conflicts resulting from:

• poor communication and misunderstandings

• different agendas, interests, and values

• political power struggles

• incorrect assumptions about others' motives and actions

• difficult people

Written in an accessible, conversational style, packed with real-life examples, and including simple exercises and tools to help assess conflict situations, this indispensable guide shows readers how to handle whatever life throws at them.

Contents

Acknowledgments ix

Introduction xi

Section One: The Emotional-Rational-Intuitive (E-R-I) Method

Chapter 1: Managing Conflict with the E-R-I Model 3

Chapter 2: Dealing with the Emotions 11

Chapter 3: Using Your Reason 22

Chapter 4: Working with Your Intuition 32

Section Two: Handling the Emotions

Chapter 5: Recognizing the Reasons for a Conflict 41

Chapter 6: Dealing with Your Own Angers and Fears 61

Chapter 7: Avoiding the Responsibility Trap 76

Section Three: Applying Your Reason

Chapter 8: Overcoming Conflicts Through Better Communication 95

Chapter 9: Understanding the Different Conflict Styles 114

Chapter 10: Choosing the Best Conflict Style 131

Chapter 11: Negotiating Win-Win Solutions 146

Chapter 12: Learning to Deal with Difficult People 163

Section Four: Using Your Intuition to Discover New Possibilities

Chapter 13: Coming Up with Alternatives and Solutions 187

Chapter 14: Turning Your Conflicts into Creative Opportunities 204

Index 217

About the Author 225