Difficult Personalities: A Practical Guide to Managing the Hurtful Behavior of Others (and Maybe Your Own) »

An indispensable guide to understanding—and living or working with—people whose behavior leaves you frustrated and confused

We all have people in our lives who frustrate, annoy, or hurt us: workplace bullies, those who always claim to be right, or those with anxious or obsessive personalities. And most of us hurt others occasionally, too. Now, authors Dr. Helen McGrath, a clinical psychologist and professor, and Hazel Edwards, a professional writer, offer this highly readable, extremely practical guide to dealing with the difficult personalities we encounter every day—in others, and in ourselves.

Taking the American Psychiatric Association's widely used Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR) as its starting point, Difficult Personalities helpfully outlines over a dozen different personality traits and types, detailing their common characteristics and underlying motivations. It also equips readers with numerous strategies for dealing with difficult behavior, including:

• Anger and conflict management
• Optimism and assertion training
• Rational and empathic thinking
• Reexamining your own personality

Readers will also benefit from sections on making difficult decisions and maintaining romantic relationships. Perfect for anyone who has ever wished that other people came with a handbook, Difficult Personalities illuminates the personality differences that so often serve as barriers to cooperation in the workplace and harmony at home.

Publishers Weekly

What do you get when a clinical psychologist (McGrath) and an experienced author of adult and children's literature (Edwards) team up to write a handbook for dealing with troublesome people at work or in one's personal life? You get a no-frills resource that is both easy to understand and highly informative. As with many such manuals, it's not necessary to read cover to cover (especially when the book's only shortcoming is its slightly repetitive tips and strategies) but, rather, to read the chapter about whichever personality causes stress in your life, from the anxious to the passive-aggressive, bullies, and narcissists. Whether the problem person is a chronic complainer, a fount of insults, or a perpetual martyr, you are guaranteed to find in-depth analysis, including what they do, why they do it, and strategies to help cope with that person in a positive, healthy way. The authors also have advice for people who recognize bothersome traits in themselves. McGrath and Edwards have avoided scientific jargon and created a handbook people can put to use immediately. There's nothing difficult about this book, except for the subject it gracefully explicates. (Mar.)

Introduction General Principles Underpinning This Book xi

Part I Incompatible Personality Traits 1

1 What Are Incompatible Personality Traits? 3

2 Variety Plus or a Rich Inner Life? Extroverts and Introverts 7

3 Let's Get Organized or Go with the Flow? Planners and Optionizers 17

4 Which Rules, the Head or the Heart? Thinkers and Feelers 24

Part II Frustrating and Annoying Personality Patterns 33

5 Built-in Flaw Detectors Negativity 35

6 I'm Better Than You! Superiority 42

7 I Have All the Power, I Know All the Answers Bossiness 49

Part III Confusing Personality Types 59

8 The World Is Such a Dangerous Place! The Anxious Personality 61

9 Getting on Top of Anxiety General Strategies 87

10 Everything Is Under Control Anxiety-Based Behavior 96

11 I'm Always Right The Inflexible Personality 126

12 Don't Ever Leave Me The Demanding Personality 132

Part IV Damaging Personalities 143

13 You'll Never Get Me The Passive-Aggressive Personality 145

14 A Silent Nightmare The Bullying Personality 155

15 Everyday Predators Among Us The Sociopathic Personality 172

Part V Strategies 203

16 Strategies for Coping with Sociopaths 205

17 Making Decisions About Difficult Situates and Relationships 215

18 Rational and Irrational Thinking 222

19 Healthy Self-Assertion 233

20 Managing Your Own Anger and the Anger of Others 239

21 Managing Conflict 247

22 Skills for Maintaining a Strong Romantic Partnership 254

Part VI Following Up 267

Finding a Good Psychologist 269

Books You Might Like to Read 271

Index 275

About the Authors 206