Diamonds, Pearls & Stones: Jewels of Wisdom for Young Women from Extraordinary Women of the World »

Jennifer Read Hawthorne is coauthor of four New York Times bestsellers: Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul, Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul, Chicken Soup for the Single's Soul and A 2nd Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul. She is an inspirational speaker who lives in Fairfield, IN.

Barbara Warren Holden teaches yoga and has facilitated women's circles in the U.S. and Costa Rica. She lives in Louisville, Colorado.

from Chapter 1: Accepting Yourself

Creating Your Own Reality

Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you deal with it is what makes the difference.—Virginia Satir, family therapy pioneer

Comparing Yourself to Others

What makes us different from one another is so much less important than what makes us alike.—Oprah Winfrey, television talk show host

Dealing with Inadequacy

I didn't belong as a kid, and that always bothered me. If only I'd known that one day my differentness would be an asset, then my early life would have been much easier.—Bette Midler, actress

Living from the Inside Out

From the time we are very young, we are taught to look outside ourselves for things to base our self-esteem on: relationships, possessions, jobs, titles, others' opinions, our bodies, etc. But all these things are external and constantly changing—so how can they be the basis for anything? True self-acceptance means finding the part of you that does not change—the part that is deeper than your body, deeper than your mind, deeper than your emotions. Then you can't be touched by circumstances.—JRH

from Chapter 2: Living in Your Body

Listening to Your Body

Your body speaks in plain language: I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, I'm tired, I'm stressed…Listening to it means hearing what it has to say, then treating it like your dearest friend.—J&B

Advertising & the Media

Keep the media out of your world as much as possible. It tries to shape your self-identity. People are earning millions making you think you're not good enough, smart enough, sexy enough, small enough. Young people are their bait.—Stacey Hurlin, artist & community leader

True Beauty

For most people, the body is the major 'who we are.' For most women, who we are is how big our breasts or hips are. But of course, our true beauty is the unseen body. It's the softness, the kindness, the gentleness, the femininity, the grace, the charm. You take the most beautiful actress or woman, and who is it that people really love? The one with the biggest heart.—Wanda Roth, fashion & jewelry consultant

Sexuality & Sensuality

Whatever you do, if you're feeling unloved or not getting enough attention, don't look to sex to take care of your frustration. Sex is very powerful, but it's not substitute for the open expression of your needs and concerns.—The New Intimacy, Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and James Sniechowski, Ph.D

from Chapter 5: Making Choices

Making the Right Choice

When considering choices in your life, the 'most alive choice' feels like a bit of a risk, makes you giggle, or makes the hairs at the back of your neck stand up.—SARK, The Bodacious Book of Succulence

Peer Pressure

Sometimes the best choice is the one that doesn't fit into what our peers or our culture think. I think you have to listen to the inner voice. It will always tell you what to do and where to go, but you have to learn to trust it. That's touch because we live in a society that projects everything outward. We're judged for what we do, not for who we are.—Shane Orne, riding coach

Making Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes. You are going to make mistakes. It is part of being human. Being young is a time of exploration. When you make mistakes, you learn and grown and find out what you're made of.—Barbara Foster, artist & Vedic astrologer

from Chapter 6: Creating Your Destiny

Finding Your Passion

I think it's usually right in front of your eyes—that's why you miss it. Our society says you have to work hard for it with effort and sweat, but my learning was that I had this gift of singing. I thought, Oh, I just sing. I had to learn to trust that this was contributing something to the planet, my way to share love.—Deva Premal, musician

Actualizing Your Gifts

The worst slayer of creativity is this idea that it's outside you and there's some finished product you're supposed to produce. That's very much a male concept. Just start from wherever you are, and anything that you are now doing can be a creative act.—Hilary Kurtz, newspaper owner & editor

Doing Business Differently

The medals don't mean anything and the glory doesn't last. It's all about your happiness. The rewards are going to come, but my happiness is just loving the sport and having fun performing.—Jackie Joyner Kersee, Olympic athlete

Stepping Stones for Creating Your Destiny

Any path you're on is the right path. I will never be a neurosurgeon; I was meant to be a divorce lawyer. It's not just what gets you excited. It's what you're built to do. To find out what it is, ask What have I always been good at doing? For example, if you like to watch television and figure out the plot, maybe you're meant to be a screenwriter.—Beth VanArsdale Krier, divorce attorney

from Chapter 8: Honoring Yourself

Setting Boundaries

Protect yourself so that nobody overrides you, overrules you, or steps on you. You just say, 'Just a minute, I'm worth everything, dear.'—Maya Angelou, Daughters of the Moon, Sisters of the Sun

Breaking Boundaries

I don't go by the rule book—I lead from the heart, not the head.—Princess Diana

Living for Others

One of the hardest things about being a woman in a busy world is that we tend to put ourselves last on the to-do list. Caught up in a culture of doers, we become what many writers, male and female, have labeled human doings, instead of human beings. While both genders can fall into the doing trap, women have a harder time getting out…The big question becomes, 'How can I get what I need without being selfish to others?' As long as we think that spending time on ourselves is selfish, the vicious jaws of the doing trap will stay locked around our ankles.—Joan Borysenko, A Woman's Journey to God

Creating Balance

This is a beautiful quote form the Zen text. I've put the gender a woman, but it could be applied to a man, too. 'A woman who is the master of the art in living makes little distinction between her work and her play, her labor and her leisure, her mind and her body, her education and her recreation, her love and her religion. She hardly knows which is which. She simply pursues her vision of excellence and grace in whatever she does, leaving others to decide whether she is working or playing. To her she is always doing both.'—Lynne Twist, New Dimensions Radio Interview

from Chapter 9: Accessing Authentic Female Power

Spirituality & Enlightenment

Spiritual love is a position of standing with one hand extended into the universe and one hand extended into the world, letting ourselves be a conduit for passing energy.—Christina Baldwin, author, speaker & educator

Gratitude

When we give gratitude—spontaneously throughout the day and intentionally before sleep—we attract more things to be grateful for. We start opening to beauty and grace and others. It's not just saying thank you; it's really feeling appreciation. Pay attention to the good—the good things, the good people, the good opportunities, the good music.—Elinor Hall, life skills coach

Forgiveness

Life is too short not to love and forgive everyone. When you hold a grudge, your body is in contraction. You live in sadness, and lose the focus of the loving being you are naturally. In allowing love and forgiveness, you reclaim your true nature, which is love.—Carol Richter, spiritual counselor

Service

Anybody who feels they're stuck in self-criticism, get out there and take care of your fellow people. You'll find who you really are in the reflection of their love and their smiles and their appreciation and their joy in you.—Shane Orne, riding coach

©2004. All rights reserved. Reprinted from Diamonds Pearls and Stones by Jennifer Hawthorne and Barbara Warren Holden. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the written permission of the publisher. Publisher: Health Communications, Inc., 3201 SW 15th Street, Deerfield Beach, FL 33442.