Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name Is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I'm a Love-Aholic » (Bargain)

Jennifer Love Hewitt has been in the entertainment industry for nearly twenty years, from her days as a child performer to the breakout hit Party of Five, to the blockbuster films Heartbreakers and I Know What You Did Last Summer. She is now the star, executive producer, and director of CBS's hit show Ghost Whisperer.

For any woman who has ever bought a self-help book and wondered why she bothered. (P.S. Now that I know he's just not that into me, where do I go from there? Yeah, thanks for that advice.)

Jennifer Love Hewitt is a self-proclaimed "love-aholic" and hopeless romantic (her middle name is Love, after all!). She has been lucky and unlucky in love, and lived to tell—and she's done it all in the spotlight. Much has been written about her love life—some true, most made up to sell magazines. Now Hewitt shares the real story of what she's learned navigating the dangerous dating waters.

In The Day I Shot Cupid, Hewitt offers her hard-won wisdom and tells us how to embrace love with both feet on the ground. First, we have to shoot Cupid. We have to believe that happily-ever-after is hard work—it's not all flowers and symphonies and floating hearts.

Wise and wry and refreshingly honest, Hewitt talks about how to pick the right guy and how to know when to let the wrong ones go free, and she offers some surprising truths about the opposite sex.

From twenty things to do after a breakup, to ten things to do before a date, to the perils of text flirting (Note: You are waiting. By the phone. For his response.), Hewitt uses stories and dating secrets to illustrate the idiotic, romantic, crazy, depressing, hilarious, awkward, glorious moments we all experience in relationships. Funny, quirky, and empowering, The Day I Shot Cupid deserves a place on every woman's nightstand, bookshelf, or coffee table, or tucked inside her oversized designer handbag.

Publishers Weekly

In this scattershot celebrity self-help, actress Hewitt puts an irreverent but unconvincing personal spin on The Rules. Hewitt muses on her personal experience as a "serial dater," drawing lessons and telling tales from her extensive experience with romantic disappointment. Too often, that results in overgeneralization-the three types of men (macho, metrosexual, and heroic), the 17 stages of relationship (from "the eye contact" to "the engaged")-or unfocused, supremely unhelpful anecdotes (cheering herself after a break-up by un-ironically getting her "hoo-ha" adorned with Swarovski crystals). Advice, what there is, is largely vague and of secondary importance, recycling familiar approaches to respecting oneself in mind and body and keeping your man on his toes; first and foremost, the book's subject is Hewitt, which should limit its appeal to her most ardent fans.
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Contents

Preface....................1
Introduction....................5
Cereal Dater....................14
Balls, a Dress or a Dress That Hides Our Balls....................16
Macho, Metro, of Hero....................20
Dumbfounded Genitals, or Who Took Ply Mojo?....................24
Flosse and Todded....................31
The Stages Are Set....................58
Texting or Sexing....................60
IM in IM out I'm Still on His IM....................63
Three Strikes You're Out....................66
Something Smells....................70
Déjà Wardrobe....................72
When Your Relationship Comes to a Skid Mark....................74
Natural Dilemma....................77
BuTTinski, or Does My Butt Look Big?....................84
WWW.ZIPIT.COM....................95
Let's Play "We"....................97
Put Your Big-Girl Pants On and Got Over It....................104
It Was Vagazzaling....................107
Table for One....................110
in Whom Can We Trust....................112
You Love Me, You Really Love Me or Maybe Not....................115
Get Moving!....................119
Twenty Things to Do After a Breakup....................134
Actual Facts About the Heart....................138
Let's Snuggle! The Hormone That Makes Us Do So....................141
Stop! In the Name of Love....................143
My Five-Day Diet That Only Lasted Three....................151
You're So Vain You Probably Think This Varicose Is About You....................153
Bitch, Please....................156
Fat and Not with a PH....................159
OMG I'm 30!....................161
Be Polite It's Cellulite....................164
W.O.R.T.H (Women Over Relationships That Hurt)....................167
The Perfect Date, Batteries Included....................169
Ten Things to Do Before a Date....................175
Ten Things NOT to Do Before Date....................177
Five Things He Should Say on a Date....................179
Five Things You Should NOT Say on a Date....................180
Ten Hard-Core Truths About Men....................181
What a Nan Should Know....................184
What a Woman Should Know....................186
What Does Love Mean?....................188
Twenty-five Things They Haven't Written About Me in fine Press....................191
So It Comes to an End....................195