Contemplating Divorce: A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go »

Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW, is founder and executive director of the Transition Institute of Marin, an agency that provides coaching, therapy, and workshops to people who are at some stage of marital dissolution. She has been working with divorced or divorcing couples and individuals for nearly a decade. Pease Gadoua lives in the greater San Francisco Bay Area with her husband and two dogs.

By clarifying assumptions about and expectations for their relationships to their spouses, the step-by-step approach in Contemplating Divorce helps readers decide whether to try to make a flagging marriage work or proceed with the difficult decision to divorce.

Douglas C. Lord - Library Journal

Even the best divorces are upheavals, messing up finances, routines, and emotions; this supportive primer totally aces helping readers clarify whether to go through with it. Social worker Gadoua notes the steps in the process of deciding, which range from passively considering to actively leaving. Instructive real-life examples show the dynamics of deteriorating marriages with both happy and unhappy endings. Gadoua also explains the difference between staying in a bad marriage out of fear vs. confidently leaving it with expectations of future happiness. Chapters encourage readers to optimize their attitudes and approaches in order to "best influence" their partners and themselves, and workbooklike sections raise issues to ponder. Clear advice seems elementary but not simplistic, e.g., "you can always choose how to interpret the events in your life. Your feelings about an event are one thing; how you interpret them is quite another." This is an excellent resource with a consistently respectful tone; coupled with a guide like Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce, it will make readers feel better equipped to handle a tough decision. Highly recommended for all public libraries and family support collections.

Acknowledgments     v
Introduction     1
Beginning the Mental Journey     7
Knowing Your Options     19
Understanding Your Emotions     39
Learning About Your Relationship     75
Knowing What You Need     103
Finding Your Truth     129
Taking Action When It's Needed     167
Understanding the Needs of Others     191
Making Peace with Your Decision     221
Suggested Reading     235
References     239