You are not signed in. Sign in.

List Books: Buy books on ListBooks.org

Autobiography of a Fat Bride »

Book cover image of Autobiography of a Fat Bride by Laurie Notaro

Authors: Laurie Notaro
ISBN-13: 9780375760921, ISBN-10: 037576092X
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Date Published: July 2003
Edition: (Non-applicable)

Find Best Prices for This Book »

Author Biography: Laurie Notaro

Laurie Notaro was born in Brooklyn, New York, and raised in Phoenix, Arizona. She packed her bags for Eugene, Oregon, once she realized that since she was past thirty, her mother could no longer report her as a teenage runaway. She is the author of The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club, Autobiography of a Fat Bride, I Love Everybody, We Thought You Would Be Prettier, An Idiot Girl’s Christmas, and the novel There’s a (Slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell.

Book Synopsis

The author of the New York Times bestseller The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club tackles her biggest challenge yet: grown-up life.

Booklist

Notaro's first book, The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club (2002), achieved cult status and became a surprise best-seller. Returning with another uproarious collection of personal essays from the dating front, Notaro proves that her first-time success wasn't a fluke. Detailing her trip down the bumpy road to matrimony, Notaro outrageously entertains with a sweetly skewed outlook on everything from breaded meats to baby wipes. Having endured boyfriends from hell and survived kamikaze-style dating, Notaro does the unthinkable by getting someone to fall in love with her! This, in Notaro's world, is not the equivalent of the Holy Grail. First there are in-laws to impress and weddings to plan, both without inflicting bodily harm or doing jail time. Next come the challenges of permanent cohabitation, with its surprise revelations of untoward bodily functions and appearances. Finally, there are the joys of first-time home ownership and joint income-tax filing. Notaro tackles them all with the inimitable, acerbic wit and ruthless, self-deprecating candor that have deservedly earned her legions of loyal fans.—Carol Haggas

Table of Contents

It's Not You, It's Me3
Super Idiot Girl: The Sad Life and Lonely Times of Princess Enabler12
You Never Call Me16
The Good Guy22
Dog Girl Bites Back28
The Fat Bride Is Not a Happy Magic Marker34
Hair of the Dog40
Dreading the Wedding44
Naked with a Stranger48
The Suck of Bridal G-Force53
Don't Drink the Kool-Aid56
Dead Bride Walking60
"If You Get Divorced Within a Year, You Owe Your Father $35.78 a Dinner Times Two Hundred": Words of Wisdom on My Wedding Day63
It Takes Guts74
Grin and Bare It78
I Think at Night It Flies82
Sweet Ride86
Marathon Man90
My Poor Sister94
Following Instructions97
The M&M, the Bee, and the Man Baby101
Burning the Bra104
The Lonely, Brown House108
Erica's Moving Adventure111
The Squatter114
A Pound of Flesh118
Home Sweat Home123
Spooky Little Girl Like You127
The Little King131
What's on That Dog's Butt?135
Red Mice139
The Hands of Death143
The Slattern's Blue Panties147
White Noise, White Soap, and Man Desire: Marriage Advice from Two Mean Girls151
As Time Goes By155
Enough with the Love: Aberrant Tales of an Absolutely and Completely Normal Family (as Told to My Therapist)160
Jingle Hell164
The Dead Zone170
Peace, You Stupid Asshole174
My Mother, My Self, My God178
It Only Says That on the Box185
The Craft Toothbrush194
The Littlest Operative198
You Make Me Sick202
Big Black Bastard206
Boys and Girlas211
Pissing Off the Pee Taker215
What Drugs Can Do to a Family219
You Have Already Been Preapproved for a Decline222
Tiger Woods Doesn't Know Where I Live226
I Think Someone Forgot About My Needs232
Queen Bee235
Thirty-fffff239
Walk All Over You243
Acknowledgments255

Subjects