51/50: The Magical Adventures of a Single Life »

Kristen McGuiness works in fundraising for a Los Angeles non-profit, which provides progressive educational and social services to impoverished children, youth and families. Before she started hanging out with four year-olds for pay, she worked in books for St. Martin’s Press, Simon & Schuster, and Harper Collins (via the office of Judith Regan), and in film as a junior creative executive. Her first screenplay, The Betty, was optioned last year. She spends her free time being watched by horses.

That was the social experiment Kristen McGuiness-single, living in LA, and entering her thirties-embarked upon. Was she destined to be a sober secretary eating ice-cream sandwiches alone at night? She was determined not to be and decided that if the perfect guy wasn't going to walk into her life, she'd find him herself. Told in a poignant, witty, and engaging style that blends the dating life with a sense of spirituality and pathos, 51/50 is an uproarious adventure that will inspire others to follow Kristen's courageous search for love.

Introduction xi

Date 1 First Impressions 1

Date 2 The Prince and the Talker 7

Date 3 Normies 13

Date 4 God and Herpes 19

Date 5 Dreaming in the Land of CHA 25

Date 6 Desperado 31

Date 7 Pie Crust Promises 39

Date 8 The Way We Are 45

Date 9 Cowboys and Peter Pan 49

Date 10 And the RAD Played On 55

Date 11 Finding Faith in Chatsworth 61

Date 12 Love is a Lot like Basketball 67

Date 13 New Beginnings 73

Date 14 Gay Uncles Give Good Heart 77

Date 15 Arrow 81

Date 16 Jakes of all Trades 87

Date 17 Cadillacs and the Two-Headed Snake 93

Date 18 The Well 99

Date 19 Ladies Angeles 105

Date 20 If It Fits 109

Date 21 The Sparkling Ribbon of Time, Act I 113

Date 22 The Schmoos 119

Date 23 That Old Dylan Song 125

Date 24 The Lies of Coco Van Dyne 131

Date 25 Otorongo 137

Date 26 My Momma's Still My Biggest Fan 143

Date 27 Revelations 149

Date 28 California Country 155

Date 29 Cinderella Does Not Smoke Marlboros 159

Date 30 The Perfect Date 165

Date 31 The Council of Butterfly Ancestors 169

Date 32 Nana 175

Date 33 The Chores of Romance 181

Date 34 Being Reese Witherspoon 187

Date 35 Fake Cannoli and Pixie Dust 193

Date 36 This Brother of My Mother 201

Date 37 High Fidelity 205

Date 38 Sober and the City 211

Date 39 The Condors of La Cañada 217

Date 40 Archetypes Away 223

Date 41 All-American Dates 227

Date 42 Beautiful People 231

Date 43 Love Will Tear Us Apart 237

Date 44 The Magic of Growing Up 241

Date 45 The Sparkling Ribbon of Time, Act II 247

Date 46 Same Story, Different People 253

Date 47 I Win 257

Date 48 The Comedy Show of Errors 261

Date 49 The Stars and the Moon 265

Date 50 La Cosa Nostra 271

Date 51 The Sparkling Ribbon of Time, Act III 277

Acknowledgments 285