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Nice Guys Can Get the Corner Office Hardcover – January 1, 2008

by Russ C. Edelman (Author), Timothy R. Hiltabiddle (Author), Charles C. Manz (Author)

4.4 24 ratings

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Many people suffer from Nice Guy Syndrome—they're held back from higher levels of success by being too selfless at work. It's a tricky problem, because if you start to think that being nice is bad, it's easy to overcompensate with selfishness, intimidation, and intense aggression. The founders of Nice Guy Strategies teach that nice is not about being weak or soft—that you can hang on to your morals, compassion, and sincerity and still get ahead. The key is to draw on eight practical strategies—the Nice Guy Bill of Rights—that will help you find the right balance. Each chapter in Nice Guys Can Get the Corner Office shares insights and stories from both ordinary nice guys and celebrity executives.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Unknown (January 1, 2008)
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 288 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1615513892
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1615513895

Customer Reviews:
4.4 24 ratings

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P. Lee - Sacramento

No-nonsense, well balanced

Reviewed in the United States on September 9, 2008

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Great insights, the title catches you and the content keeps you reading. Good balance for the nice guy - doesn't give carte blanche to nice guys, but cautions those things that can derail the nice guy...you have to learn balance, firmness, discipline. Hope the jerks of the world read this and understand they can let up and be human and still be successful as well.

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Buddhi Ukwaththa

I loved this book and would recommend to anybody who wants ...

Reviewed in the United States on October 26, 2017

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I loved this book and would recommend to anybody who wants to learn about office dynamics. There are lots of good insights to think and apply in a corporate environment.

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Wally Bock

Help, but not magic, for nice guys

Reviewed in the United States on February 26, 2009

Blame it on Leo Durocher. His line, "Nice guys finish last," was part of an interview with Red Barber in 1946. Durocher was explaining why his Dodgers would finish first in the National League that year while the Giants, a team full of "nice guys," would finish last.

Durocher even used the line for the title of his autobiography. It's become part of the folklore. Nice Guys can Get the Corner Office is intended to refute Durocher and all who quote him.

The title is not intended to mean that the book is for men only. The authors think you can succeed if you're a woman. Several times they tell you that they're using "guys" as a generic term. Many times they use the construction "guys and gals."

One key to understanding what's in this book is to read the last part of the subtitle. The authors say that you can succeed without acting like a jerk.

But you can't succeed if you're a pushover or if you're always trying to please others, or if you're always attempting to minimize disagreement and confrontation. In other words, being nice is OK, but being "too nice" is a recipe for poor performance and personal discomfort.

"Nice Guy Syndrome" is their name for being too selfless at work. The authors surveyed 350 nice guys to find out how they felt about themselves and their performance. They also interviewed 25 top executives to get their perspectives.

Using what they learned, the authors developed a "Nice Guy's Bill of Rights." The eight strategies they advocate are also eight chapters that make up the core of the book. Here they are.

Know your Strengths and Weaknesses
Learn to Express Your Opinions and Be Heard
Set Boundaries and Respect Them
Address Issues Directly and without Fear
Make Choices without Guilt
Learn to Hold Others and Yourself Accountable
Reach Beyond Your Comfort Zone
Compete and Succeed

That core is the strength of the book. Each strategy is described using stories drawn from the real working world. That makes it easy to understand.

But you'll find that it's not always easy to do. Like too many business books, this one leaves you with the impression that you can do all this by Tuesday. In reality you're facing months of effort and feedback to achieve significant behavioral change.

Here's one example. The fourth strategy says to address issues directly without fear. I've coached enough people on this to know that the fear will probably always be there. It might be more realistic to suggest that a nice guy address issues directly even when it's scary. Then suggest some strategies for dealing with the fear.

The fact is that if you exit your mid-twenties being afraid to confront others, that probably isn't going to change. We can teach you to feel the fear and do it anyway. We can teach you techniques to communicate with others about performance or behavior, as I do in my programs and my book, Performance Talk. We just can't make the fear go away.

Some years ago I did research on the transition from individual contributor to manager or supervisor. I found that the process took far longer than most people think, between twelve and twenty-four months.

I also found that most people who became successful managers and supervisors went through three stages. One was what I called "The Boss Phase." The new supervisor acted like an autocrat, giving orders left and right. I named another phase, "The Buddy Phase."

In the Buddy Phase, new supervisors strive to be liked by everyone who works for them and with them. They are the "overly nice guys" that the authors of this book describe.

Supervisors who made a successful transition also went through a third phase. I called it "Balance." That's where the new supervisor mastered the arts of being nice without being a pushover and being firm without being nasty.

Supervisors who didn't make a successful transitions wound up stuck in one of the other two stages. The ones who stayed in "Boss" turned into jerks. The ones who stayed in "Buddy" turned into the nice guys who can now find help in this book.

This is the only book I know of that deals with this subject effectively. If you feel that you're a nice guy or gal and it's keeping you from the success you want, you should read this book. Just don't expect magic.

7 people found this helpful

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Sackermann

Good read

Reviewed in the United States on March 20, 2017

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Helped me identify that sometimes my being overly nice is really a facade for lacking courage. Nice does not substitute

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Marine Contractor

Eye opening observations and solutions for the hyper-nice.

Reviewed in the United States on August 26, 2008

My wife and I have struggled and argued for years about being too nice in our own business and in our relationships with neighbors, friends, and even some of our extended family members. I have always thought my wife was guilty of being "Too Nice" during interactions with our contracting company's customers and our subcontractors and vendors. I ordered the book and intended to read it first, so that I could convince her to read it, in hopes she might "see the light" and tighten up her instincts and behaviors to better protect the interests of our core family and our business.

WOW did I get a surprise! I had intended to quickly skim the book, highlighting all the sections that I thought could be helpful to my wife. Two chapters in, and I found myself reading slowly and highlighting many of the sections ....not for her....but for me instead. With each new symptom of "over niceness" and each corresponding example story, I realized that I too, was touched by symptoms of the nice guy syndrome. I am guilty of often taking criticism of my work as a personal criticism of me..... I do go to great lengths to avoid conflicts.......I have even been known to get periodic bouts of "navel gazing" and "speak up diarrhea". This book is wonderful because each chapter is complete and discusses the common behavioral weaknesses along with practical strategies and solutions for each issue. The insights from the corporate executive interviews are excellent and highlight the benefits of addressing these problems at the individual level as well as the corporate organizational level.

"Nice Guys Can Get the Corner Office" is well organized and the three authors styles, blend together to make a seamless, easy reading book, that gives those of us who are afflicted with too much niceness, the genuine hope and real tools and expectations that we can use to improve ourselves. By the end of the book I felt truly entitled to my eight listed specific rights and I feel confident that I can apply them in my everyday life at work and around my town. My wife has started reading the book and I hope she will discover the she too is entitled to reducing her concessions to others without losing her nice girl reputation. If these ideas gain momentum in corporate America, a lot of nice people will feel and perform better at work and ultimately be more successful in living a truly "Nice" life.

Well done Russ Edelman, Timothy Hiltabiddle, and Charles Manz!

One person found this helpful

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