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51 Things You Should Know Before Getting Engaged (Good Things to Know) Paperback – September 1, 2009

by Michael Batshaw (Author)
4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 33 ratings
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Have You Found “the One”? 

The decision to get engaged is one of the most exciting and important decisions you will ever make. 51 Things You Should Know Before Getting Engaged offers the insights and techniques necessary for a successful engagement and marriage. Psychotherapist Michael Batshaw gives you the tools to decide whether your partner is the right one for you, and if so, how to keep it that way. 

Some of his advice: 

  • Beware the person of your dreams. 
  • Couples who do everything together do not have a relationship that can survive. 
  • Couples who do not argue are in trouble. 
  • Hollywood gets it wrong. 
  • The truth of the moment is not the whole truth.
Read more Read less
Previous page
  1. Print length
    137 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Turner
  4. Publication date
    September 1, 2009
  5. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.4 x 6.4 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1596525487
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1596525481
  8. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

51 Things You Should Know Before Getting Engaged, offered thought provoking insight AND it was a quick read which you can skim in 5 minutes or dive in and spend a few hours with when you are ready to get honest with yourself. It is important to know what you're getting into before you grab that ring. And ladies, too often you shy away from really important questions because you're in love and it just feels so right. Pick up this book, get answers to your questions from your man (and give him the honest answers from you as well) and find out if you two have what it takes for 'till death do us part. You'll be glad you did. - Victorya Michaels Rogers --mantokeep.com/blog

A must read for any couple interested in a long term relationship. Straightforward and easy to read, the author presents information on the big issues like money, sex and kids as well as smaller issues like patience and respect. No one should walk down the aisle and say I do without reading this book. --Barbara Bartlein - Author of Why Did I Marry You Anyway? Overcoming the Myths That Hinder a Happy Marriage

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Turner (September 1, 2009)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 137 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1596525487
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1596525481
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8.3 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.4 x 6.4 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars 33 ratings

About the author

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Michael Batshaw

Michael Batshaw

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Michael Batshaw is a New York City-based psychotherapist, author and internationally recognized relationship expert. He is also the founder of the innovative “The Batshaw Method” of psychotherapy and coaching. His expertise on a variety of relationship issues has been featured in such publications as Cosmopolitan, Redbook Magazine and the Chicago Tribune among many others. He is the author of 51 Things You Should Know Before Getting Engaged (Turner, 2009), due to the book’s popularity it was reissued as Before Saying "I Do": The Essential Guide to a Successful Marriage (Turner, 2011).

Michael graduated from the University of Pennsylvania with honors in Philosophy, completed his Masters of Science in Social Work at Columbia University, and completed a four year post-graduate training in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis. He has served as the Clinical Director of a New York City based addiction and recovery agency, that treated individuals suffering from HIV/AIDS and Substance Abuse. During the course of his career he has treated a variety of issues including post traumatic stress disorders, DID (formerly multiple personality disorder), bipolar disorders I and II, ADD/ADHD, major depression, obsessive compulsive disorders and anxiety and panic disorders. As a dual diagnosis specialist (working with both mental health and substance abuse issues), he has worked with alcoholism, every type of substance abuse as well as sexual addictions, gambling addictions, kleptomania, and co-dependent relationship addictions.

Mr. Batshaw trains and supervises psychologists, psychiatrists, mental health counselors and social workers in “The Batshaw Method.” In addition, he is on the faculty of the New York Open Center, where he has taught seminars on the techniques to achieve true intimacy in relationships. As a professional coach, he has tailored “The Batshaw Method" to work with Fortune 500 business leaders, professional actors and musicians, doctors, lawyers and other professionals.

Michael also gives seminars on addiction and recovery utilizing “The Batshaw Method.” The integration of philosophy, meditation and psychotherapy are the foundation of “The Batshaw Method.” He has practiced and studied Zen meditation for over 20 years and was mentored in his Zen practice by the Head Zen Meditation Teacher of the Chogye International Zen Center in New York City.

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
4.3 out of 5
33 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Anthony Aguirre
5.0 out of 5 stars A gem of wise thinking about your relationship
Reviewed in the United States on October 26, 2009
Verified Purchase
As this little gem of a book makes clear, most of our heads are filled with a lot of nonsense about what romantic relationships are like, which cause us a lot of trouble when we enter a relationship for the long term. Our society gives us lots of advice (albeit not always so useful) about finding and falling in love. But other than bumbling through it ourselves, where do we come across real and useful advice for how to navigate the inevitable difficulties and challenges that arise in every serious relationship? This book, while small, simple, readable and straightforward, packs a punch and will probably change the way you think about your growing relationship, at whatever stage you are. It is alternately comforting and challenging, wise and playful. If you read this book, what is the value of pain it might save you, and enrichment it might bring to your life? I guarantee you it will be more than 10 bucks worth! You can't go wrong.*

*Well, there is one danger - I recently almost leant my copy to a friend who was debating whether her relationship was worth staying in. But she decided it was too risky to leave lying around the house! Then again, perhaps this is too cautious -- if you ARE going to pop the question, or break it off, the book is small enough to be easily concealed...
2 people found this helpful
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JognJan
4.0 out of 5 stars Quick Read with Good, Practical Advice
Reviewed in the United States on November 5, 2009
Verified Purchase
I bought four copies of this little book for my kids and relatives. It is packed with brief, practical nuggets that are useful to consider in any relationship. Some of my favorite chapters were "Beware of the Person of your Dreams" (He/she may actually represent some unfinished or unresolved relationship from your past); "One Hardly Ever Hears 'I Wish I Had Gotten Engaged Earlier'" (You need to become sufficiently annoyed at certain aspects of your partner's personality so that you have a good sense of your partner's strengths and weaknesses.) "Dont express every random thought you have in your head about your partner" (Learn appropriate timing and context.) "Great sex will not save a mediocre relationship" but "mediocre sex can become great sex with patience and determination." This little book is worth the investment and makes a nice little stocking stuffer for close friends and relatives who are dating and/or serious about someone.
12 people found this helpful
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Mark C
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book - A Must Read!
Reviewed in the United States on September 27, 2009
Verified Purchase
This is truly a great book. It's amazing how much helpful advice and wisdom is contained in such a compact easy-to-tote volume. Michael Batshaw is an intelligent and gifted writer. He is cleary a skilled therapist who knows his subject matter. He is clear, concise, and insightful.

A great deal of useful information is contained within the book. Each of the 51 chapters is brief, covering just several pages. I found this format to be very helpful, as it was succinct and crisp, enabling me to easily digest key points in a brief period of time.

This is likely to be a beneficial book, not just for those considering getting engaged, but to anyone in a serious relationship.

I highly recommend this book!!!
4 people found this helpful
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Matty B
5.0 out of 5 stars Recommended.
Reviewed in the United States on June 18, 2014
Verified Purchase
Easy read. Makes one easily see their relationship through the words of the author. I would recommend this book to anyone in or thinking of getting into a relationship.
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Samantha
5.0 out of 5 stars perfect
Reviewed in the United States on May 9, 2014
Verified Purchase
Simple, clear and direct.... I read it before i got engaged and gave me some things to think and promise myself to try to keep alive
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A. Oakley
4.0 out of 5 stars Before Marriage Ask Questions
Reviewed in the United States on December 22, 2014
Verified Purchase
This book gives you some good questions to ask yourself before you commit to your boyfriend/girlfriend. Too many times people believe love is all that matters. You do need to know if you agree on how you will handle money, in-laws, religion, politics, saving money, etc. These become more and more important as time goes by. Oh yeah, a big question is do you want children or not and if so how do you want to discipline those children. This book takes you through these important questions so that you can think about what your thought are and will hopefully encourage you to discuss them with your prospective spouse.
3 people found this helpful
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Ms. Underfoot
1.0 out of 5 stars Just read a few blog posts
Reviewed in the United States on September 7, 2022
Verified Purchase
As my relationship got more serious I started looking into books on marriage and things that would help me know if I'd really found the right person. This book was one of the ones I was looking at, I guess. I don't remember it being in my cart, but it showed up in one of my orders and was on the receipt so I guess I accidentally asked them to send it to me. What a waste. I am so disappointed in it. I figured I should at least read it because I paid for it and it was too much hassle to send it back. I got halfway through and skimmed the rest, it's basically a blog post in book format, but I feel like I read free blogs that were more helpful than this book.

If you haven't done any research on the subject, maybe you'll find this book useful, but if you've googled and read a few articles, save yourself the effort.

Note: I'm also annoyed because I somehow paid money for this without intending to, and that's why this review is so scathing, so take it with tablespoon of salt, but it's not good enough that after receiving it I was impressed and happy I'd accidentally purchased it. It's been months since I bought it and I still feel upset every time I think about it. Maybe this is a personal issue. Maybe this is because the product is very low value.
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Arteest59
5.0 out of 5 stars Not just for Engagement......
Reviewed in the United States on May 12, 2015
Verified Purchase
A great little pocketbook for genuine, common sense reminders about getting along in ANY type of relationship.
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