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One Big Happy Family: 18 Writers Talk About Polyamory, Open Adoption, Mixed Marriage, Househusbandry, Single Motherhood, and Other Realities of Truly Modern Love Hardcover – February 19, 2009

by Rebecca Walker (Author)
3.9 3.9 out of 5 stars 20 ratings
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A volume of essays evaluates how modern-world circumstances, from gay adoption and absent fathers to open marriages and green-card marriages are changing the domestic scene today, in an anthology that includes contributions by such figures as ZZ Packer, Dan Savage, and Min Jin Lee. 20,000 first printing.
Previous page
  1. Print length
    288 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Riverhead Hardcover
  4. Publication date
    February 19, 2009
  5. Reading age
    18 years and up
  6. Dimensions
    5.8 x 1.05 x 8.56 inches
  7. ISBN-10
    1594488622
  8. ISBN-13
    978-1594488627
  9. See all details
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The Amazon Book Review
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

These plainspoken, cage-rattling essays, collected by Walker (What Makes a Man), address how dramatically the traditional nuclear American family has changed. Jenny Block's And Then We Were Poly sets the decidedly unconventional tone by insisting that her and her husband's embrace of other sexual partners allows them a more joyful, fulfilling commitment to each other. A gay couple adopts the child of a self-destructive street girl in Dan Savage's DJ's Homeless Mommy, then tries to keep the mother in touch with her son. In Sharing Madison, Dawn Friedman, another parent of an adoptee, writes of her agonizing process of overcoming the guilt she feels in having taken baby Madison away from her teenage mother. Antonio Caya, in Daddy Donoring, recounts his rational decision to sire his friend's child, firmly remaining a donor, not a daddy, so as not to muddle the issue. Children of mixed race force a much-needed altering of people's perceptions, as ZZ Packer explores in The Look, while Susan McKinney de Ortega's choice to marry a much younger Mexican man and make a home in Mexico challenges the American notion of middle-class values. These fresh, diverse views represent an authentic, valuable new reality. (Feb.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Rebecca Walker has received numerous awards and accolades for her writing and activism. Her work has appeared in many anthologies and publications; in addition to the international bestseller Black, White, and Jewish, her books include Baby Love: Choosing Motherhood After a Lifetime of Ambivalence, and the anthologies To Be Real: Telling the Truth and Changing the Face of Feminism, which has become a standard text in gender studies courses around the world, and What Makes a Man: 22 Writers Imagine the Future. A popular speaker at universities and in business settings, Walker teaches the art of memoir at workshops and writing conferences internationally. She lives in Hawaii.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Riverhead Hardcover; First Edition (February 19, 2009)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 288 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1594488622
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1594488627
  • Reading age ‏ : ‎ 18 years and up
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 15.2 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.8 x 1.05 x 8.56 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    3.9 3.9 out of 5 stars 20 ratings

About the author

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Rebecca Walker

Rebecca Walker

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Rebecca Walker was chosen as one of Time magazine's fifty future leaders of America, one of the most influential leaders of her generation. She has made a substantial contribution to the global conversation about identity, power, culture, and the evolution of the human family through books, lectures, blogs, social networks, popular magazines, literary and academic journals, radio programs, film and television appearances and content development. She graduated cum laude from Yale in 1992.

She is the author of the memoirs Black, White and Jewish and Baby Love; the novel Adé: A Love Story; and editor of the anthologies To Be Real, What Makes a Man, One Big Happy Family, and Black Cool. Her writing has appeared in Glamour, the Washington Post, Bookforum, BOMB, Newsweek, Vibe, Real Simple, Modern Bride, Essence, More and Interview, among many other magazines and literary collections. She has appeared on Charlie Rose, Good Morning America, Oprah, Fresh Air, BET, and dozens of blogs, sites, and other media. She lives in Los Angeles, where she is hard at work on both a new novel and a television pilot.

Customer reviews

3.9 out of 5 stars
3.9 out of 5
20 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Cynthia Uribe
5.0 out of 5 stars kudos to the author
Reviewed in the United States on December 5, 2013
I haven't read this book yet. I'm ordering it today. The reason I'm ordering it and writing about it here before I even read it is that I am what the world calls a birthmother, I call me a mother. I read the excerpt from the family who chose open adoption. That they are so loving of their child and their child's mother tells me that any other person(s) she would choose to include in this book would be someone I'd want to know of too. Looking forward to reading other stories of lives so common in the world, only uncommon in media. Brilliant idea for a book on family.
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4.0 out of 5 stars An enjoyable read with enlightening true stories from several perspectives ...
Reviewed in the United States on February 10, 2018
Verified Purchase
An enjoyable read with enlightening true stories from several perspectives. Although, I was looking forward to there being more than one story of polyamory, and I am dissapointed to see stories of cheating being lumped together with consensual non-traditional families. I was also hoping to hear more about child-rearing.
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Alice Herbert
5.0 out of 5 stars I've Been Waiting for this Book for as Long as I can Remember
Reviewed in the United States on February 20, 2009
There is nothing more that the human animal longs for than acceptance. This can be hard to come by if you find yourself unable to march to the beat of the common drummer. I have long known that heterosexual, monogamous marriage was not for me. I have long admired families who have chosen their own roads over the ones they are shown. I have long wanted to hear of the stories of those who have found happiness and love not in following but instead in seeking. Finally those stories are here.

That is what this book is all about. One Big Happy Family is about the pursuit of love and family and wholeness with a blind eye to social convention. These writers made me feel at home. They helped me to remember that there is no "right" way to live and to love. They reminded me that living honestly is always more important than living in chains. And they taught me that although others may not accept me, my acceptance of myself is far more gratifying.

These are people who are present in their own lives, active in their own pursuits of love, and accountable for the paths they have chosen or crafted or discovered. We should all be so lucky.

Read this book. Find your way.
11 people found this helpful
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Kristopher
4.0 out of 5 stars Intriguing and interesting read
Reviewed in the United States on December 6, 2014
Verified Purchase
I had to get this for a class, but would have read it anyway for fun. It has a variety of short stories about all different types of families, so you can see the positives and negatives of different family structures and situations. The stories are all pretty quick reads, so it's easy to read one or two whenever you have some freetime.
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Andie
4.0 out of 5 stars 18 Perfect Examples of What Family is Truly About: Love
Reviewed in the United States on June 17, 2009
This book was truly an amazing collection of essays about what it means to be a family. The 18 essays created 18 perfect examples of what family is truly about: love. It just goes to show that whether in a polyamorous relationship or a single mother dealing with raising a child on her own, where there is love, there is a family. There were many interesting relationships explored in this book, including a great one about two sister's that end up in couple's therapy, but one type of situation I felt was missing was the relationships between stepparents and stepchildren. Other than that, it was truly a great, and refreshing read.
One person found this helpful
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Nature Grrl
5.0 out of 5 stars Box of chocolates
Reviewed in the United States on December 22, 2009
I can understand why the one reviewer mentioned being disappointed by the book after the "tease" of the intro poly story. If that's what you're looking for, this isn't the book for you. (You might try reading the rest of the story in Jenny Block's book "Open" but it isn't that graphic really either.)

This book *is* a great sample of lots of different types of family. I enjoyed reading about them even if I wouldn't want to live in them. Other reviewers have mentioned specifics about the different family styles covered so I won't go into that.

I will say that the best thing I got out of the book was that it's a great introduction to some really interesting writers. After reading this book, I went on to read the rest of Jenny Block's story in her book Open, asha bandele's The Prisoner's Wife and Something Like Beautiful, Not Buying it by Judith Levine and that's just the beginning. This book was a great way to get a taste of different authors before sinking the time (and/or money) into a full book by them.

I highly recommend this book!
2 people found this helpful
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Paula Penn-Nabrit
5.0 out of 5 stars A "Must Read"
Reviewed in the United States on February 25, 2009
One Big Happy Family is a fascinating collection of essays about family. Part of what makes the essays so compelling is the fact that they force the reader to confront what well may be "the conspicuous other" in his or her own voice. That doesn't mean there will be a universal acceptance of all the myriad forms of family presented - quite the contrary. I am certain that many readers may be shocked at some of the family structures presented, which is fine. We need not approve or agree with all the ways our fellow citizens choose to create family, but it is important to hear their voices in the description of those creations. All too often we hear of families, not from the families' members, but from others describing them. These second and third- hand descriptions lend themselves to inaccuracies. Could someone else, even a well-meaning someone else describe your family as well as you or one of the other members? Get a copy of One Big Happy Family and read first-hand accounts on the enormous diversity of families-written by those families' members; it's a "must read" and I'm certain you'll be fascinated!
4 people found this helpful
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