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My Husband, My Friend: A Memoir Paperback – Illustrated, November 9, 2006
Purchase options and add-ons
- Print length344 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication dateNovember 9, 2006
- Dimensions6 x 0.86 x 9 inches
- ISBN-101425918182
- ISBN-13978-1425918187
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Product details
- Publisher : AuthorHouse; Illustrated edition (November 9, 2006)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 344 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1425918182
- ISBN-13 : 978-1425918187
- Item Weight : 1.12 pounds
- Dimensions : 6 x 0.86 x 9 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #1,377,803 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #4,010 in Rich & Famous Biographies
- #11,531 in Actor & Entertainer Biographies
- #40,410 in Memoirs (Books)
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Steve grew up in what now seems like another age. His father abandoned the family quickly, and his mother apparently felt that she was unable to earn a living and raise Steve also. He was left with a kindly uncle, who helped him learn some measure of discipline as a child. Reunited as a teen with his mother, he drifted into minor crime, reform school, and a few years floating around the world drinking and let's say 'dating actively'- before trying to make his way as an actor in New York.
Neile Adams was far more successful than Steve when they fell in love and married - in just four months. She subordinated her career to his as soon as possible, because he wouldn't have it any other way. He was willful, stubborn, hopelessly self centered yet kind and generous, a gamboling boy inside a big tough guy. He had to be the center of all attention, and Neile's attention especially.
Steve was relentlessly unfaithful and a committed drug user from well before their marriage. His bad habits were fueled rather than calmed by his success. The debacles and humiliations related to women and drugs steadily escalated over the years to the point that Neile could no longer tolerate it. She remained his best friend and closest adviser until his death by all accounts. This book relates the story, from Boy meets Girl to the ugly end and back to friendship in a warm, honest and loving way. Neile managed somehow keep her exasperation from becoming bitterness, her disappointment from becoming defeat. She was the love of Steve's life, as he's stated elsewhere, and the reason why is clear in this story. I became a fan of hers during the course of the book.
She is a one time author, and should be heartily commended for her organization, style and ability to tell a story, and her publisher as well for brilliantly allowing her to do so. A critical edit would have resulted in a few different terms and possibly a bit more streamlining, but it wouldn't have been the same story.
Neile was a success in her own right when they married, She notes earning $50,000 in 1957 a year when Steve made $4,000. And she is a fine writer as well as dancer, reprising her career after his death when the children were grown.
For all fans have read about Steve working with weights and such, he remained a slight figure of 168 pounds in his prime. Sadly he gave in to the demons of smoke and drugs finally ending his career with as she described the script a made for tv movie, The Hunter
Steve was not in league with say Paul Newman, rejecting Paul's offer to cast him as The Sundance Kid. Steve wanted a higher billing, why not just go for the part? The role of course solidified Robert Redford's career.
While he wanted to be more than an actor, a film maker like Eastwood or Warren Beatty, he did not have the temper for it, changing his mind or in the example of The Reivers refusing to come out of his trailer to do a scene.
Neile put up with more than most wives would given his open interest in other women an continued drug use. It is amazing he managed to win second at Sebring with Peter Revson in 1970, given his self destructive ways.
Like Lucy and Desi, they loved one another but could not live together. Indeed this book reminds me of Desi's autobiography which is now out of print.
Perhaps this is window on why so many 'stars' have difficulty on both sides of the camera. Fame is an intoxicating thing and has to be handled for what it is. Perhaps this is why so many singers and actors fall victim to various drugs and then need re hab to climb out of the hole.
but a great read, thanks for writing Neile. Neile went on to marry Alvin Toffler who passed in 2005. Sadly their daughter Terry has passed as well. Neile is still trhiving at age 83.
I gave it four stars not for any lack of interesting writing on her part, more for the disappointment in seeing yet another star in need of rehab.
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Reviewed in France on February 15, 2022