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Cornelia Maude Spelman
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Your Body Belongs to You Mass Market Paperback – Picture Book, January 1, 1997

by Cornelia Maude Spelman (Author), Teri Weidner (Illustrator)
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 704 ratings
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In simple, reassuring language, therapist Cornelia Spelman explains that a child's body is his or her own; that it is all right for children to decline a friendly hug or kiss, even from someone they love; and that "even if you don't want a hug or kiss right now, you can still be friends." She goes on to define private parts and stresses that "it's important to tell if someone tries to touch your private parts."

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Previous page
  1. Reading age
    2 - 4 years, from customers
  2. Print length
    24 pages
  3. Language
    English
  4. Grade level
    Preschool - 3
  5. Lexile measure
    AD490L
  6. Dimensions
    8 x 0.1 x 9 inches
  7. Publisher
    Albert Whitman & Company
  8. Publication date
    January 1, 1997
  9. ISBN-10
    0807594733
  10. ISBN-13
    978-0807594735
  11. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"A good, solid book on the subject and one of the few appropriate for this age group."―Booklist



"This book is positive and assertive without being frightening. It lets young children know that it's all right for them to choose when, and by whom, they are to be touched. It goes on to define 'private parts' as 'the places on your body covered by a bathing suit,' and states that they should never be touched by people other than medical personnel and adults helping with bathroom functions. The prefatory note to parents is an important one as it reminds them to trust a child's instincts and concerns related to unwanted touching."―School Library Journal



"This is a wonderful book to help parents and teachers deal with young children on the subject of sexual abuse."―Children's Literature

About the Author

Cornelia Maude Spelman, a former therapist who worked with children and families, now devotes her time to writing. She lives with her husband in Illinois.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Albert Whitman & Company; unknown edition (January 1, 1997)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Mass Market Paperback ‏ : ‎ 24 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0807594733
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0807594735
  • Reading age ‏ : ‎ 2 - 4 years, from customers
  • Lexile measure ‏ : ‎ AD490L
  • Grade level ‏ : ‎ Preschool - 3
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 8 x 0.1 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 704 ratings

About the author

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Cornelia Maude Spelman

Cornelia Maude Spelman

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Cornelia Maude’s Spelman’s best-selling books are known for their reliable and sensible texts. Pairing rhyming text with vivdly colored illustrations, her new book A FOOT IS NOT A FISH! helps parents have fun while showing their children that it is not hard to see what is true and what is not, using absurd comparisons that every child--and parent--will instantly understand: "A FOOT IS NOT A FISH, AND A CAT IS NOT AN EGG. CHICKENS DO NOT BARK, AND A HAND IS NOT A LEG. A PEACH IS NOT A PEAR AND A ‘D’ IS NOT AN ‘E’. THINGS ARE JUST WHAT THEY ARE. ON THAT WE MUST AGREE.’

A FOOT IS NOT A FISH! also helps parents make the gentle point that for democracy to work, people need a shared reality: “WE NEED TO KNOW JUST WHAT IS TRUE. TO KNOW WHAT’S REAL, WHATS NOT. ‘CAUSE IF WE GET THEM ALL MIXED UP, WE’LL BE CONFUSED A LOT.”

Cornelia has said of her other books: “I wrote “The Way I Feel” picture books to help children name, understand, and manage their feelings—and to help their parents and caregivers, who, perhaps, like many of us, were not offered much help, themselves, with their emotions. I felt sure that such books would be of use, but even my experiences when I was a therapist and worked with young children and families, and my own mothering and grandmothering times, had not prepared me for the touching responses of relief and comfort that these books have elicited. It seems that having their adults read with them about a feeling, turning the pages and looking at the illustrations of animal charcters who are experiencing feelings that the children, too, experience, places upsetting and confusing emotions into the safe world of a book, a safe world where feelings have names and where there are methods to manage them.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
704 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Elizabeth G. DiBagno
5.0 out of 5 stars I like that it says that sometimes you don't want to ...
Reviewed in the United States on July 19, 2015
Verified Purchase
I bought this to teach my 4 and 2 year old about this important subject. The pictures are bright and non-threatening, and we have read it together several times. I like that it says that sometimes you don't want to be hugged or touched, and that's ok. The picture shows an adult woman, perhaps a grandma or aunt, arriving with her suitcase, and kneeling with her arms outstretched for a hug. The toddler looks bashful and is hanging back, out of reach. On the next page the two are sitting together happily enjoying a book, and the book says that sometimes you do want a hug, and that's ok. All of our relatives live very far away, and only visit about once a year, so there is always an adjustment period for the kids when they come to visit.
7 people found this helpful
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Syd
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect
Reviewed in the United States on August 9, 2022
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It’s so simple and helps open up communication with your kids! It’s in language my 2 almost 3 year old understands and has used to stand up for herself.
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DW
5.0 out of 5 stars Buy this book (or one like it)
Reviewed in the United States on April 28, 2016
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I was hesitant to purchase this book at first, my 4.5 year old is a bit of a worrier and I didn't want to add any fears to her life. It is great, not scary at all and my daughter loves it. Recently there was an incident at preschool with a little inappropriate touching between kids. My daughter chose this book that night to read and then was able to tell me about what happened at school while reading the book. I am so thankful we had it and that she could use it to open up a dialogue on this sensitive subject. I will recommend a book like this to everyone with preschoolers because it helped us so much!
11 people found this helpful
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Jamie
4.0 out of 5 stars Opens Up the Beginning of a Dialogue with Toddler
Reviewed in the United States on April 17, 2016
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I read this with my 3 year old and it is good for teaching her that it's ok to not want to be touched. It teaches them to use phrases like "not right now, please" when someone wants to hug them and they don't want that. It has one page with kids in bathing suits and says "your private parts are the parts covered by a bathing suit" and that no one should text them, and if they do to tell an adult. That's all it goes into for that part though. It's more about unwanted hugs and kisses.

It's a good lighter book to read with toddlers to introduce the idea that their body belongs to them. My only complaint is the very last page says, "sometimes you like to be touched, and sometimes you don't. But most of the time it feels good to get a hug or a kiss. You like that!" I just feel like that is a weird ending, telling a kid they like it. I usually skip that part. This is a good book for opening up dialogue with your toddler though.
17 people found this helpful
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Alayna Quinn
5.0 out of 5 stars Great for Preschoolers
Reviewed in the United States on June 2, 2014
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I got this book for my four year old recently and it was exactly what I was looking for. It explains that private parts are private and that they should never be touched by others accept during a checkup with the doctor or by parents while helping the child wash themselves. It also explains that children have a right to say no to a hug or other touching even from the people they love most, like their parents, and that it does not hurt their parents' feelings. I think it is important for children to be empowered in this way because it gives them the building blocks for setting boundaries and teaching them that they have complete control over their own body and no one, even adults, do not have a right to force them to comply with unwanted physical contact.
4 people found this helpful
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Grandma
5.0 out of 5 stars A Learning Tool For Parents
Reviewed in the United States on February 17, 2012
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The note to parents is excellent in that it encourages you to teach your children, among other things, that they don't have to give hugs & kisses (even to grandparents) if they don't want to. Sometimes they don't feel like it so is very important not to "make" them give goodbye kisses if they don't want to. I think this is a very important message to parents (& grandparents as well).

About 12 pages, one or two sentences a page, colorful illustrations, though not as vibrant as a Dr. Seuss book. Short, simple, which is what makes it good for preschoolers (I'd say 3 to 5). Much more than that, you'll lose them.

There is nothing in this book that would make it uncomfortable to read to my 4 yr old grandson, which is who I bought it for.
One person found this helpful
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HSA
3.0 out of 5 stars Good Start
Reviewed in the United States on November 4, 2017
Verified Purchase
It's a good little starter book for little ones. You can use it from the beginning, no need to wait until the child is 4 or 5. The book does a great job of not offending parents. But parents need to support the message of the book, which is that the child's body does in fact belong to them. Kids are pressured to give up hugs and kisses long before preschool. Molesters often begin with "give me a kiss," or "how about a hug?" and parents will stand right there and urge their reluctant child to give up that hug or kiss because they don't want to hurt the other adult's feelings, or because they don't want their child to be rude. "Your Body Belongs to You" is a nice tool, read it often, leave it out for toddlers to look at on their own time. But the book alone won't empower kids. Parents can easily negate the book's message by not letting a child decide WHO they want touching them, anywhere.
24 people found this helpful
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Gjoy
5.0 out of 5 stars good for preschooler
Reviewed in the United States on October 20, 2008
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Since our 3.5 year old son attends a preschool with lots of different adults taking care of him I wanted to find a way to start talking to him about appropriate touching. I had no idea how to do this with a 3.5 year old so I looked through book reviews and decided on this book. It's a very mild approach to telling children about their bodies. It starts off focusing on hugging and how it's mostly a nice thing but you can tell someone if you don't want to be hugged etc.. It also discusses private areas covered by your bathing suit and telling mom if anyone were to ever touch those private areas. It's a good tool to use in teaching very young children about a very tricky subject.
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Ronda Wright
5.0 out of 5 stars Very good at opening the conversation with young children about their ...
Reviewed in Canada on May 17, 2015
Verified Purchase
Very good at opening the conversation with young children about their bodies and what is appropriate touch.
It does need a parents follow up with what to do if someone does touch your "bathing suit areas". (Ie. Say "No!" And tell an adult)
One person found this helpful
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Sabrina
4.0 out of 5 stars Bel libro per imparare
Reviewed in Italy on March 29, 2016
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Libro ovviamente in inglese, molto semplice, spiega ai bambini quando lasciarsi toccare (medici, genitori...) e quando si può dire "no, grazie "
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Moonchita
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 14, 2014
Verified Purchase
This really is an excellent book to teach children about healthy boundaries and to build confidence in being assertive about their own bodies. I notice that some books on this subject can easily lapse into fear mongering and the last thing I wanted to do was scare my children (age 5 and 7) or let them think that the world is a place to be feared and intimidated. That said, I also wanted to be as honest as I can with them about the fact that not everyone has good motives and that they have the right to protect their own personal boundaries. Its a very tricky balance and I feel that this book achieved it spot on. It was very simple, yet honest, without being scary. It basically teaches children that their body belongs to them and that they have a right to protect their bodies and their privacy and stand up for themselves should someone try to disregard that. My kids both got the message in this book and it prompted a really good discussion afterwards about the notion of privacy, rights, and not keeping secrets etc.. Highly recommend this book for what can be a very difficult subject.
10 people found this helpful
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Cindy Watson
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in Canada on May 30, 2018
Verified Purchase
Awesome illustrations and well presented data.It would be so much better id it were in a larger size.
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Fiona
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 20, 2013
Verified Purchase
I was pleasantly surprised that this book is fun - my 3 year old loves it and has referred to it in situations. For eample, we were out and I didn't want to go on a very large slide with her & her Dad.
she thought about it and then said 'it's okay you don't want to, Mummy, your body belongs to you.'

The one fault in this book is the explanation for it in the front pages, which older children could also read. I think I'm going to rip them out, but it's a shame to have to damage the book.

Otherwise, though, it gets across a very valuable message without being at all frightening or overly serious. I'd highly recommend it for parents with young children around 2-4 years
19 people found this helpful
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