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June Cerza Kolf
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When Will I Stop Hurting?: Dealing with a Recent Death Paperback – February 1, 2002

by June Cerza Kolf (Author)
4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 99 ratings
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"When my father passed away, a friend gave me When Will I Stop Hurting? It was such a help to me, that whenever I know someone who loses a loved one, I send them this book to read."
Since its 1987 release, When Will I Stop Hurting? has received praise like this from readers grateful for June Cerza Kolf's understanding and beneficial guidance. With almost 70,000 copies in print, this small but powerful book has been a boon to many wounded souls. Readers have found in Kolf a gentle guide to lead them through the stages of grief and eventually the healing process. This new edition of her book is revised and updated and includes a study guide ideal for bereavement groups.
Previous page
  1. Print length
    80 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Baker Books
  4. Publication date
    February 1, 2002
  5. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.19 x 8.5 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    9780801063855
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0801063855
  8. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

You've lost someone you loved, and now the pain seems unendurable. June Cerza Kolf understands. She, too, has suffered the wound of grief, and as a veteran of hospice work, has counseled many mourning people. In this gentle, empathic book, Kolf leads you through the stages of grief, helping you understand what to expect as time goes on and making you mindful of potential pitfalls such as feeling anger or guilt, dealing with holidays, and experiencing physical distress.

No matter what the loss has been, it takes time and heart-wrenching work for the wound to heal. Kolf takes you by the hand and helps you do this painful--yet vital--work. She offers practical and therapeutic ways of dealing with depression and easing pain and gives creative ideas for expressing your love and remembrance. The grief exercises provided in this book are an outlet for working through your pain on your own or in a small-group setting. Most of all, as When Will I Stop Hurting? guides you through the rough terrain of grieving, it will also point you to God, the one true source of healing.

About the Author

June Cerza Kolf has worked in hospice care for years, teaches grief seminars, and conducts grief recovery sessions. She is the author of several books and lives in Quartz Hill, California.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ 080106385X
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Baker Books; 2nd edition (February 1, 2002)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 80 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9780801063855
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0801063855
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.19 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 99 ratings

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June Cerza Kolf

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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
99 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

K
5.0 out of 5 stars Good read
Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2024
Verified Purchase
I gave this to my friend after he recently lost his son. Many of the chapters in this book are speaking specifically as to what he is going through. He is still reading it but so blessed to have a resource for his grief.
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Smart T. Pants
5.0 out of 5 stars I give this out instead of sympathy cards
Reviewed in the United States on July 15, 2023
Verified Purchase
I read this book when I lost my twin sister after her battle with breast cancer. It’s a simple read and not giving ground breaking information, but provides a gentle reminder that the grief you feel is normal, to be expected and you are not alone. I now buy these about 10 at a time and hand them out instead of sympathy cards with a note that says “please pass this book along to the next person, with a note so that whomever gets this book knows they are not the first, won’t be the last, and are never alone”
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Puff12
5.0 out of 5 stars Will help You through
Reviewed in the United States on November 6, 2023
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This book helped me when going through a very difficult lose
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Robert C. Rogers
4.0 out of 5 stars Inspiring, helpful book that could use one more thing
Reviewed in the United States on November 20, 2013
Verified Purchase
This is one of the most helpful, compassionate books I have read to comfort someone who is grieving. As a pastor, I have given several resources to people to help them with the grieving process. A church member who had lost her mother told me that this book was even more helpful to her than what I had given her, so I had to read it myself. Now I see why. Kolf writes as someone who not only understands the grief process, but has experienced it herself. She has a wonderful balance of encouragement and specific, practical advice. It is a resource that a grieving person will want to keep nearby to refer to again and again, and share with others.
The book is divided into three chapters: The Wound, The Flood, and the Rainbow. The first chapter, "The Wound," explains the hurt and feelings of grief. Grieving readers will find themselves saying, "Yep, that's me." Yet they will find it comforting to see how what they are experiencing is normal, and they are not going crazy.
The second chapter, "The Flood," explains the stages of grief and gives practical advice about making decisions and taking care of oneself through that process.
The third chapter, "The Rainbow," is an inspiring and practical explanation of how one let's go of grief and moves on in life.
There is an appendix that gives nearly 20 exercises with a "To Do" list to handle guilt, crying, loss of sleep, remembering your loved one, etc.
So with all of this praise for the book, why did I give it four stars instead of five? This is because I feel that she could have strengthened the book with comforting scripture. She does mention two Bible verses, and talks throughout about God. On page 41, she gently recommends "a divine friend who loves me no matter what...This friend, Jesus, is available to everyone through prayer." Since she chose to mention her faith, she could have strengthened this by citing scripture such as Jesus' words about being with us and preparing a place in heaven (John 14:1-6), Paul's words about finding comfort in God by comforting others (2 Corinthians 1:6), or Kind David's beloved Shepherd's Psalm, Psalm 23. I have seen people physically relax upon hearing the Twenty-third Psalm. Scriptures such as these could make this wonderful, helpful book even more "hope-ful" to the grieving reader.
3 people found this helpful
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T Perkins
5.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful book about a horrible topic.
Reviewed in the United States on December 22, 2020
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This has helped my friends and family through several tough losses. Often times when someone around us loses a loved one, we ask if there is anything we can do. This book is of great comfort when you are at a loss for words. Please consider sending it to someone you know in their time of need. I have given away countless copies of this book and almost without exception I have been told that it was very helpful
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MaxBench49
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Helpful
Reviewed in the United States on July 23, 2010
Verified Purchase
When Will I Stop Hurting?: Dealing with a Recent Death

This is an excellent book, very informative and insightful. I actually read it 3 times in a row. As a man who is still dealing with the death of his son - I found myself understanding my own grief better. I realized that I am not done with many aspects of the grief process.

As a Health Care worker, working at a mental hospital for Dual Diagnosis patients (those suffering from both a mental or emotional illness as well as chemical dependency) -I will be able to help my patients better after reading this book.

I highly recommend "When Will I Stop Hurting?: Dealing with a Recent Death" to people whether or not they have personally experienced a loss. It will help them to better understand others who are currently dealing with grief.

Thanks to Mrs. Kolf for her work!
5 people found this helpful
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Barbara J. Lake
5.0 out of 5 stars Such a helpful book.
Reviewed in the United States on September 6, 2021
Verified Purchase
I read this myself when my husband passed away. It was the perfect balance between practical and spiritual. I give it out whenever someone I know has suffered a loss.
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Rick of Yocona
5.0 out of 5 stars Share it with others.
Reviewed in the United States on October 11, 2013
Verified Purchase
Eight years ago our 17-year-old daughter died in a car accident. God provided many people to minister to us including through books of information, enlightenment and encouragement. We found this book to provide revealing insight into the practical everyday experiences of those swamped in grief. It helped us realize that we are "not going crazy". We discovered our symptoms were normal. This is one of two books my wife and I purchase to give to those suffering a sudden loss. Neither book is long and complicated. We found that most are not capable of digesting the longer books during this time of grief.
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Gill Kirkland
3.0 out of 5 stars Three Stars
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 15, 2015
Verified Purchase
Yes it didnt really tell me anything I didnt already know. I needed something more.
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