Dealing with privilege is necessary, but difficult. Men's studies and critical white studies are very informative fields. However, those scholars walk a fine line and must avoid assuming that men have it bad just like women or whites with people of color.
Here, an analogy of AIDS and gay men is potent/present. In this book, the contributors point to HIV-negative men who feel guilty about seeing people die and "surviving the epidemic." This fear, and sometimes obsession, is making some men think, "Let me become positive so I can stop the worrying." This counterproductive worrying can cost lives, so the contributors rightly argue that HIV-negative men need the space to describe their trepidations. Until there is a cure, prevention is the key and counseling these men is a great prevention strategy.
Still, this book falls apart quickly. It's a very small text with few chapters. I think that is so because there is little to say here. The chapters head in disparate directions, and yet, it's still a repetitive book. This book is really just for therapists to talk to other therapists. Only the personal narratives near the beginning will be useful for wider audiences.
I think this phenomenon is restricted to a very limited populations. The authors are mostly from AIDS epicenters like NYC and SF. Most of them worked in AIDS organizations for years, especially in the first decade of the epidemic. At a time, when statistics say a huge number of gay men don't know they are positive and many don't know any person with full blown AIDS, the concerns expressed in this book cannot possibly be deemed widespread. Thus, only a certain type of reader would enjoy or relate to this book.
Most of the chapters are highly flawed. Alex Carballo-Dieguez, an amazing, outstanding Latino AIDS researcher, has a chapter here. However, most of his chapter details homophobia in Latin America. He only does a cursory job in answering whether Latino men in the US would have the same fears that the white non-Hispanic contributors describe. I think this chapter was meant to add a multicultural flare to the discussion, but it feels contrived. Still, a Jewish gay man has a personal narrative in this book and a director of GMAD, Gay Men of African Descent, is quoted. So there is some diversity.
Peter Newman tries to apply postmodern theory to this question. He argues that safer sex ads can't help positive and negative men at the same time. This chapter felt like whining. It doesn't understand how you have to work with what you got and make lemonade when handed lemons. At the end of his chapter, Newman even confesses that his discussion is just mental stroking. Just because no strategy is perfect, doesn't mean a critique like this is necessarily constructive.
Most importantly, this book can be dangerous. It rightfully admits that some gay men are burnt out by "always condoms, all the time." However, this book implies that two monogamous men can do without them. No way!: in a time when men are cheating on spouse of either gender and bringing AIDS home, no one can afford to make a compromise here. Even if there is condom fatigue, there is no effective solution in stopping the virus from spreading.
I do not recommend this book at all. There are better AIDS education publications out there. For real, this book is downright dangerous.
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