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The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever Paperback – January 1, 2007
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"Manly men rest assured: You can hope to become a better husband without having to get in touch with your feminine side. . . . Lively and entertaining, this broad guidebook provides Haltzman's insights illuminated by anecdotes from his online discussion forum for married men."
--Psychology Today
"Haltzman . . . launches his eight strategies with remarkable vigor. More important, they are extraordinarily well fleshed out and convincingly supported with useful 'to do' lists and a multitude of examples. They will no doubt prove helpful to many men struggling to build a happy marriage."
--Publisher's Weekly
"Scott Haltzman, a psychiatrist and Brown University professor, has been studying marriages good and bad for a long time. . . . View marriage as your most important task, Haltzman urges men, and pursue success as you would anything else that matters."
--Washington Post
"Men are good at fixing problems, not talking about them, so Haltzman advises playing to your strength. The genius of this book is that it . . . asks politically incorrect questions about men and women at home--the neglected front in the gender wars."
--New York Times
"The insights in this book reveal a new and effective way for men and women to understand and appreciate each other. It shows what it really takes to create a loving and lasting relationship."
--John Gray, author, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
Marriage and relationships are in crisis. The breakup and divorce rate remain incredibly high, despite all the couples therapy, afternoon talk shows, and other books in the marketplace, many of which describe men as abusive commitment phobic creeps who'd better change fast or else. But this new book is totally different, a whole different way of looking at how to build a successful long-lasting relationship from a man's point of view, men who are happy in their partnerships, who have figured out what works for them in accomplishing the goal of a loving, intimate, lifetime commitment. Dr. Scott Haltzman, Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Human Behavior at Brown University, and founder of www.secretsofmarriedmen.com, has devised a proven method for improving relationships, based on a man's special and unique skills, strengths, powers--as a responsible and motivated worker, manager, leader, problem-solver, partner, husband, and father. Men are different, Dr. Haltzman says. They don't approach relationships with the same skills and techniques that women do--and viva la difference. Dr.Haltzman therefore lays out eight ways, tasks, proven techniques which men have revealed in confidential correspondence to his highly successful website, including The First Way: Make Your Marriage Your Job, The Second Way: Know Your Wife, The Third Way: Be Home Now, The Fourth Way: Expect Conflict and Deal With It, The Fifth Way: Learn to Listen, The Sixth Way: Aim to Please, The Seventh Way: Understand the Truth About Sex, The Eighth Way: Introduce Yourself, and finally, Celebrate Your Love. Within each of these steps, he provides both specific analysis, guidelines and techniques based on male biology, neuro-science, brain differences, unique developmental stages from youth to seniority. To illustrate these ideas in action, he's included wonderful true stories, anecdotes, and confessions from the website. The result is a practical, very entertaining, totally original way to build successful relationships for men and their partners, girlfriends, and wives. For a lasting commitment, a continuing guide to solving inevitable problems and bumps in the road, for more fun, better sex, genuine intimacy, and a life-long partnership--this dynamic new author shows the way in a manner that finally includes an authentic male perspective.
- Print length275 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherJossey-Bass Inc Pub
- Publication dateJanuary 1, 2007
- Dimensions5.75 x 0.75 x 8.75 inches
- ISBN-100787994146
- ISBN-13978-0787994143
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From the Back Cover
"Manly men rest assured: You can hope to become a better husband without having to get in touch with your feminine side. . . . Lively and entertaining, this broad guidebook provides Haltzman's insights illuminated by anecdotes from his online discussion forum for married men."
-- Psychology Today
"Haltzman . . . launches his eight strategies with remarkable vigor. More important, they are extraordinarily well fleshed out and convincingly supported with useful 'to do' lists and a multitude of examples. They will no doubt prove helpful to many men struggling to build a happy marriage."
-- Publisher's Weekly
"Scott Haltzman, a psychiatrist and Brown University professor, has been studying marriages good and bad for a long time. . . . View marriage as your most important task, Haltzman urges men, and pursue success as you would anything else that matters."
-- Washington Post
"Men are good at fixing problems, not talking about them, so Haltzman advises playing to your strength. The genius of this book is that it . . . asks politically incorrect questions about men and women at home-- the neglected front in the gender wars."
-- New York Times
"The insights in this book reveal a new and effective way for men and women to understand and appreciate each other. It shows what it really takes to create a loving and lasting relationship."
-- John Gray, author, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
About the Author
Theresa Foy DiGeronimo is the author of more than thirty-five books in the fields of educationand parenting.
Product details
- Publisher : Jossey-Bass Inc Pub; 1st edition (January 1, 2007)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 275 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0787994146
- ISBN-13 : 978-0787994143
- Item Weight : 12 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.75 x 0.75 x 8.75 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #1,465,841 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1,000 in Men's Gender Studies
- #6,879 in Marriage
- #154,207 in Health, Fitness & Dieting (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors
Theresa Foy DiGeronimo, MEd, ASLMS, is an editor and an award-winning, internationally published professional writer. She has written/co-written/ghost-written 48 non-fiction books on a wide range of subjects including on parenting, education, health, sports, business, relationships, and more. She has also written innumerable magazine articles as well as video scripts and sales training materials for the healthcare industry. In addition, she has been an adjunct professor of English at William Paterson University in New Jersey for more than 30 years, as well as a high school English teacher and Library Media Specialist at Hawthorne High School, New Jersey.
Scott Haltzman, M.D., is board certified in Psychiatry and is a Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. He is a graduate of Brown University class of 1982, and received his medical degree from the Brown Medical School in 1985. He completed his psychiatric training and chief residency at Yale University, and then moved back to Rhode Island with his wife and children. He served as a Clinical Assistant Professor at Brown University for twenty years. After a nearly 3 year residence in Naples, Florida, he returned to Rhode Island in 2015, where he currently serves as Medical Director of Psychiatry at Fuller Hospital in Attleboro, MA, and serves as clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at Boston University.
Dr. Haltzman has gained international recognition for his work in support of marriage and committed relationships. He has appeared on the Today Show, 20/20, Good Morning America, and in TIME Magazine, Glamour, Redbook, Parent's Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Men's Health, New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune and local and national radio, TV and print.
Scott Haltzman, M.D., is the founder and editor of www.DrScott.com and author of "The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity," "The Secrets of Happily Married Men," "The Secrets of Happily Married Women" and "The Secrets of Happy Families." He co-authored the chapter, "Men, Marriage and Divorce" in the American Psychiatric Press book: "Men and Mental Health." He is an internationally recognized speaker, presenting regularly at marriage education conferences and at the annual meeting of the American Psychiatric Association.
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Let me also just say that I am not a good reader- 20 pages at a time at BEST. This book was written in lay terms and the pages flew by. I read 270 pages in 3 days. It was really clear and really engaging. It was an easy read that I looked forward to. Don't get discouraged by one of the first chapters with all the brain and chemical stuff. It's only one chapter and the rest of the book is NOT like that. I plan to get it for many of the men I know for these reasons:
It is reaffirming for men. It says that most therapists don't have proper couple's training and licensing and that they insist that men act more like women. That is why men feel so frustrated. So, it gives real and practical suggestions and suggests that men approach a marriage from the same perspective that a man would approach his job- an area he generally feels pretty competent in. I think most men will like and can relate to this.
I found the author to be very pro-woman in his approach without demeaning men. He placed a high and equal value on both partners in the relationship. He just suggested that both need to reevaluate the way they look at things and that a change in attitude can go a long way.
Also guys, I found that he touched on every subject that I can think women take issue with or are confused by. As I was reading his suggestions, I think I would be truly happy with the outcome if they were applied; not expecting perfection, but recongnizing the effort. Don't ignore ANY sections because they are all things that are important to women- even the ones he spends only a paragraph on. Basically, that was what I interpreted his approach to be- to help you understand the way we view things and why we make your life miserable because of it. ;)
If you are going to try any relationship help book, I would suggest this one for men (but also valuable for women). You won't feel overwhelmed, it's practical, and it is written in a way you will enjoy reading it.
Bottom-line to all of this. You can be good at relationships. Use the tools you know and redirect them at your wife in a manner that will please her. She is different, and celebrate the differences. Learn some skills in the female mode to meet her needs (you need not "get in touch with your feminine side"), she is your wife after all. In doing this, she is more likely to meet your needs.
At least parts of this book would be good for women to read, particularly the discussion on the brain structures and how they intereact and how they are different between men and women. This leads to different behaviors and preferences of interacting. This is good stuff everyone should be aware of.
Some good suporting reads: Men are from Mars; His Needs, Her Needs; The 5 Love Languages
Top reviews from other countries
I will re-read this book now, to go over what it has said. Ps I hardly ever re-read a book, but this one has so much to offer and I want to fully grasp it. I want more than anything to embrace all that I am, and then to bring my fullness to my marriage , with skill and knowledge.
Ps I have been implementing this stuff over the last two weeks of reading this book and there are substantial improvements in our marriage already. Bring on the good times. Looking forward to being more of a man in my marriage and my wife more of a woman.
Exciting times
Mark raymond 42 married for ten years
Nowhere does he mention actually connecting with your wife in order to meet her needs.
If you really want to have a deeper, loving connection to your wife, try reading these books instead:
For Men Only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Connecting With Your Wife by Barbara Rosberg
If Only He Knew by Gary Smalley
52 Things Wives Need From Their Husbands: What Husbands Can Do to Build a Stronger Marriage by Jay Payleitner
Becoming Soul Mates by Les and Leslie Parrott
Normally we donate our used books to the local book sale for charity. This one will go exactly where it belongs - in the garbage!