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How We Grieve: Relearning the World First Edition, 3rd Printing.

by Thomas Attig (Author)
4.9 4.9 out of 5 stars 35 ratings
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How We Grieve: Relearning the World
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What do we do when a friend, relative, or loved one dies? If we wish to understand loss experience, we must learn details of survivors' stories. In How We Grieve, Thomas Attig tells real-life tales to illustrate the poignant disruption of life and suffering that loss entails. He shows how through grieving we meet daunting challenges, make critical choices, and reshape our lives. These intimate treatments of coping hold valuable lessons that address the needs of grieving people and those who hope to support and comfort them. The accounts promote understanding of grief itself, encourage respect for individuality and the uniqueness of loss experiences, show how to deal with helplessness in the face of "choiceless" events, and offers much priceless guidance for caregivers. Grieving is not a process of passively living through stages. Nor is it a clinical problem to be solved or managed by others. How We Grieve shows that grieving is an active, coping process of relearning how to be and act in a world where loss transforms the fabric of our lives. Loss challenges us to relearn things and places; relationships with others, including fellow survivors, the deceased, and even God; and most of all ourselves, including our daily life patterns and the meanings of our own life stories.
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  1. ISBN-10
    0195074564
  2. ISBN-13
    978-0195074567
  3. Edition
    First Edition, 3rd Printing.
  4. Publisher
    Oxford University Press
  5. Publication date
    May 23, 1996
  6. Language
    English
  7. Dimensions
    9.19 x 0.66 x 6.13 inches
  8. Print length
    224 pages
  9. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"If one is looking for a book on grief and grieving based on lived experiences rather than more remote psychosocial theories, then Thomas Attig's How We Grieve is the resource to read. Although it is not a brand new book (first published in 1996), in this reviewer's opinion no book published in the last four years comes close to the power of Attig's contribution to understanding the grief process. Attig, a former philosophy professor and past president of the Association for Death Education and Counseling, uses the power of story to unlock the mystery of the human experience of life and death, and produces a rich treasure of intensely human stories of coping with loss due to death. This book has substance, theory and organization, and is highly readable--packed with the everyday drama of life and death. It is an immensely useful and provocative, sensitive and human, inspiring and engaging book."--America

"In this richly rewarding book, Attig, a philosopher who has written and taught extensively about death, bereavement, grief, and grieving, presents his reflections on the grieving process. . . . The author writes in a graceful prose style that is often powerfully metaphorical, but that is nevertheless clear and straightforward. Insightful and enlightening. Highly recommended."--Choice

"Attig, through the use of vignettes, takes the reader along on a number of pilgrimages toward resolution; journeys whose starting points may appear to be the same but are, in fact, dissimilar. The need of the person in grief to relearn her/his world (grief resolution) is discussed along with the importance of understanding how this pilgrimage to resolution significantly changes the traveler as well as the way future journeys will be experienced. This book is a must read for anyone who is involved in providing support for individuals in grief."--David K. Meagher, Editor, The Thanatology Newsletter

"How We Grieve is a valuable resource in death education courses and workshops, as well as for those who want one good book on death and dying....(It may become a valued handbook for caregivers in hospice, hospitals, and nursing homes." --Death Studies

"Attig has written a groundbreaking book, one that may prove to be a cornerstone in a revised theory of grief and its place in human life....I would recommend it to all those who have suffered a loss, as well as those therapists and counselors who attempt to help them." --Robert A. Neimeyer, President, Association for Death Education and Counseling

"[Attig] rejects the grief stages and phases offered by Kubler-Ross, Engels, Lindemann, Bowlby, and the medical profession as static and too automatic. Instead he considers grief to be an individualized process. . . [that] should help the survivor make the transition from loving someone in the present to 'loving them in their absence.' This book should prove useful for counselors, survivors, and caregivers alike."--Readings

"Attig's How We Grieve: Relearning the World . . . is written in the 'inspirational we' model, with an emphasis on stories as the vehicle for illustrating psychological messages. Attig directly challenges the imagery of 'tasks' and 'stages,' the former associated with J. William Worden's theories . . . Unfortunately, it is difficult to write and 'inspirational' book when the message is that 'mourning never ends' and that, although people will eventually feel better, relearn the world, and form new relationships, this process does not leave them in a state of 'light, warmth, and peace.' On the other hand, Attig insists that an 'active' stance--grieving understood as something we do rather than a fate that befalls us--is a key to enduring it."--Religious Studies Review

About the Author

Thomas Attig is 1995-96 President of the Association for Death Education and Counseling. Formerly a professor of philosophy at Bowling Green State University, he has been teaching and writing about death, dying, grief and loss since 1974. He lives in Vancouver, British Columbia.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Oxford University Press; First Edition, 3rd Printing. (May 23, 1996)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 224 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0195074564
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0195074567
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 9.19 x 0.66 x 6.13 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.9 4.9 out of 5 stars 35 ratings

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Thomas Attig

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Customer reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
4.9 out of 5
35 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Edwin H Krieg Jr
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in the United States on April 25, 2015
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Found this book extremely helpful. Thank you.
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Marcus Miller
5.0 out of 5 stars Nicely Priced. Arrived As Expected
Reviewed in the United States on January 9, 2015
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Book Came As Described. Nicely Priced. Arrived As Expected.
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1way2you
5.0 out of 5 stars As described
Reviewed in the United States on December 19, 2014
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great condition! Thank you!
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Joe_Poerschke@pennunited.com
4.0 out of 5 stars It was my favorite.
Reviewed in the United States on July 6, 1998
I was widowed at the age of 29. In the months that followed I read every non-secular grief book that I could find. Attig's was definitely the most helpful book I came across. It repeatedly enforced the point that things had changed beyond my control. It also then pointed out to me what I still had some control over. At a time when I was lost and feeling rather helpless it did a great job of showing me how I wasn't helpless. I gained a lot of motivation for facing the challanges ahead of me from Attig's book, I recommend it to others who's lives have been turned upside down from grief.
10 people found this helpful
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David K. Meagher
5.0 out of 5 stars Relearning Grieving
Reviewed in the United States on July 27, 2001
Is grief an illness? Are there stages of grief? Does time heal all wounds? For Thomas Attig, the answer to all of these questions is NO! Grief is a process by which one relearns his/her world, a world that has been permanently altered by the death(s) of significant persons in one's life. Using the stories of eleven persons, Attig demonstrates the active nature of grieving. For Attig, the stories are the heart of the matter. The reader is introduced into the stories at the point of the loss experiences. Attig takes us through their coping behaviors as he develops the model of relearning the world; including relearning our selves and our relationships with the deceased. How We Greive is a very special book. It does not simply restate the stages and phases of grief so frequently outlined in like texts. Attig presents a different and important perspective to the understanding of how one copes with the death of a loved one and why grief occurs. Although Attig's book may be perceived as a resource for the professional caregiver, it can motivate all of us to examine the nature of our own relationships and assess our own coping styles and support systems.
6 people found this helpful
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Paul C. Rosenblatt
5.0 out of 5 stars Extremely helpful and insightful
Reviewed in the United States on July 25, 2001
This is a very, very good book. It helps immensely in understanding why grief can be so difficult and absorbing. It teaches how to be patient and understanding in dealing with grief, our own grief or the grief of others. It offers deep and valuable insights into the many aspects of the grief process--including why the world seems so strange after somebody dies, the importance of stories in grieving, our choice-making in bereavement, the ways we remain connected to a loved one who has died, even why so many of us want to read about grief when we are grieving.
8 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Anonymous
5.0 out of 5 stars Attig's review of grief does an excellent job of conceptualizing and summarizing how we have come ...
Reviewed in Canada on May 18, 2016
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Attig's review of grief does an excellent job of conceptualizing and summarizing how we have come to understand grief in its historical and conceptual context. His argument for an individualized and spiritual journey to relearn one's world resonates so well with a phenomenological approach to interrogating lived experience. After recently reviewing much of the literature on grief and loss, I found Attig's book both refreshing and enlightening. I would encourage interested readers, practitioners and theoreticians to review this work.
Peggy Howard, PhD
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comfortlover
5.0 out of 5 stars The case studies are varied and engaging if sad and disturbing
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 20, 2015
Verified Purchase
I found this book enlightening, insightful, gentle and kind. It demolishes comprehensively previous models of grief which emphasise a 'getting over' the grieving process, sometimes even putting a time limit of two years on the process. The emphasis is on the individual's own unique process of mourning with the concept that grief is a transition from "Loving in presence to loving in absence" - and this continues all our lives until we ourselves die.The case studies are varied and engaging if sad and disturbing. A must for any practitioner - or for all mourners.
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Heather-mae Celins
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in Australia on December 23, 2015
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I found it excellent
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Xavier Grant
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in Canada on May 18, 2017
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Great read
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M
5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting book detailing case study scenarios. Shows grief as ...
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 4, 2016
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Interesting book detailing case study scenarios. Shows grief as an active process. Offers hope. Outlines living with grief, not being paralysed by it. M.
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