The big book of conflict resolution games
Quick, Effective Activities to Improve Communication, Trust, and Collaboration
By Mary ScannellThe McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.
Copyright © 2010 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-07-174224-5
Contents
AcknowledgmentsIntroductionYour Keys to SuccessHow to Use This Book1 Understanding Conflict2 Communication3 Diversity4 Trust5 Perspective6 EQ (Emotional Intelligence)7 Collaboration
Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
Understanding Conflict
Don't fight forces, use them.
—R. Buckminster Fuller
How Do You See It?
OBJECTIVES
To understand our perception of conflict
To consider a different perspective on conflict
To learn techniques to better handle conflict
To build trust
Group Size
Any
Materials
One copy of the Conflict—How Do You See It? handout (provided) for eachparticipant, pens
Time
30 to 40 minutes
Procedure
Conflict can provide the spark that often leads to better solutions, creativity,and collaboration. This activity helps team members to: (1) become morecomfortable with conflict, (2) consider the positive aspects of conflict, and(3) understand the possible benefits to themselves and the team.
Have participants pair up. Provide each person with a copy of the handout. Allow10 to 15 minutes for partners to interview each other. Follow with a groupdiscussion of the interviews and then go over the discussion questions.
Tips
Follow this activity with the game Positive Spin.
Variations
Have team members switch partners every three questions to increase the level oftrust within the team.
Discussion Questions
1. Were your partner's perspectives different from your perspective?
2. What were some things you learned by considering another'sperspective?
3. Does discussing conflict like this make it "less scary"? In whatways?
4. Is conflict good or bad?
5. What are some ways in which conflict is detrimental to the team?
6. What are some ways in which conflict enriches the team?
HANDOUT
Conflict—How Do You See It?
1. How do you define conflict?
________________________________________
________________________________________
2. What is your typical response to conflict?
________________________________________
________________________________________
3. What is your greatest strength when dealing with conflict?
________________________________________
________________________________________
4. If you could change one thing about the way you handle conflict, whatwould it be? Why?
________________________________________
________________________________________
5. What is the most important outcome of conflict?
________________________________________
________________________________________
6. In what ways have you seen your team benefit from conflict?
________________________________________
________________________________________
7. How can conflict be detrimental to a team?
________________________________________
________________________________________
8. What do you do when someone avoids conflict with you?
________________________________________
________________________________________
9. What are some reasons you choose to avoid conflict?
________________________________________
________________________________________
10. What can you do to promote a healthy attitude toward conflict withinyour team?
________________________________________
________________________________________
Positive Spin
OBJECTIVES
To change our perspective on conflict in the workplace
To consider the positive aspects of conflict
Group Size
Any
Materials
Flip-chart paper, markers, pens, one copy of the Team Debriefing DiscussionQuestions handout (provided) for each team
Time
20 to 40 minutes
Procedure
Split large groups into smaller teams of four to seven (having at least threeteams is desirable). Have each team send a member up to collect their supplies,which consist of a sheet of flip-chart paper, some assorted markers, pens, andthe handout.
Tell the teams that they are to write their definition of conflict.Their challenge is to define conflict without using negative terms. Onceteam members agree on a definition, have them write it on their flip-chart paperalong with an illustration. Before the group presentations and discussion, haveeach team answer the debriefing questions on the handout.
After all teams are finished, have the teams present their ideas to the group.Hang up the flip-chart pages on the wall of the room for the duration of thetraining day.
Tips
Whenever possible, refer to the teams' definitions during the debriefingdiscussions.
Discussion Questions
1. How does the definition of conflict affect the way we think aboutconflict?
2. What are some negative consequences of conflict?
3. What are some positive outcomes of conflict?
4. List four potential positive outcomes of conflict in an organization.
HANDOUT
Team Debriefing Discussion Questions
1. How does the definition of conflict affect the way we think aboutconflict?
________________________________________
________________________________________
2. What are some negative consequences of conflict?
________________________________________
________________________________________
3. What are some positive outcomes of conflict?
________________________________________
________________________________________
4. List four potential positive outcomes of conflict in an organization.
________________________________________
________________________________________
Step by Step
OBJECTIVES
To discover the steps to effective conflict resolution
To create a conflict-resolution process that can be used in anyconflict
To create buy-in to the conflict-resolution process
Group Size
Any
Materials
Copy paper, markers, painter's tape
Time
15 to 20 minutes
Procedure
Split your group into smaller teams of four to seven participants. Station theteams in different areas throughout the room. Ask each team to write the wordConflict on one sheet of paper and the word Resolution onanother. Instruct them to tape the sheets of paper about six feet apart on anearby wall. Invite the teams to brainstorm the specific steps necessary to getfrom "Conflict" to "Resolution." As the steps are agreed upon, have team memberswrite them on sheets of paper and place them on the wall between the "Conflict"and "Resolution" sheets.
Tips
Use this activity as a part of a debriefing discussion early in your programafter an activity such as Helium Hoop.
Use these steps in the Quotable Quotes activity.
If participants are having trouble, you may suggest that they reverse-engineerthe steps.
Have the team test the steps by using them in a conflict-resolution activity.
Discussion Questions
1. What has to happen right before "Resolution"?
2. Is there an additional step after "Resolution"? What could be added?
3. How does it benefit us to have a step-by-step approach to conflict?
4. How can we remember these steps in conflict situations?
Conflict Close-Up
OBJECTIVES
To understand our initial reactions to conflict
To consider how our reactions may influence the outcome of the conflict
Group Size
Any
Materials
None
Time
5 to 10 minutes
Procedure
Stand in the center of the room and announce the following to the group:
I am conflict. Consider how you typically react when you experience apersonal conflict. Position yourself, in relation to me, somewhere in the roomin a way that conveys your initial response to a conflict. Pay attention to yourbody language as well as your distance from the conflict.
Tips
Use this activity twice—once near the beginning of the program and thenagain at the end—to get a visual picture regarding changes in positions asa result of considering conflict differently.
Discussion Questions
1. What are some reasons you are standing where you are?
2. If where you are standing signifies your initial reaction, wheremight you stand after taking some time to think about the conflict?
3. What are some things that would cause you to move?
4. How might our reactions influence the course of the conflict?
Bull's-Eye
OBJECTIVES
To understand that how we deal with conflict impacts ourselves, our team,and the organization
To look at the big-picture benefits of effective conflict resolution
Group Size
Any
Materials
Flip-chart paper, markers, paper, pens
Time
15 to 20 minutes
Procedure
Draw a large target (consisting of three circles, one inside the other) on theflip-chart paper.
The innermost circle represents the team members themselves.
The middle circle represents the team.
The outer circle represents the company.
Ask, "How does effectively resolving conflicts affect you, your team, and yourorganization?" As team members shout out various ideas, record them in theappropriate place on the target.
Tips
To allow participants time to contemplate the issue, have teams of four to sevendraw individual targets and take a few minutes to fill in the circles on theirown before the group discussion.
Variations
Create two targets: one for the benefits of effective conflict resolution andone for ineffective conflict management skills, and how each impacts theindividual, the team, and the organization.
Discussion Questions
1. How does your ability to resolve conflicts affect you in your job?
2. How does a team member's ability to resolve conflicts impact theteam?
3. How does a team's ability to resolve conflicts impact theorganization?
Note to Self
OBJECTIVES
To evaluate our pretraining skills
To set expectations for ourselves as a result of the training
To notice a change in perspective as a result of what was experienced inthe program
Group Size
Any
Materials
Copies of Note to Self handout (provided), paper, pens, one envelope for eachperson
Time
10 to 20 minutes
Procedure
Ask participants to write a letter to themselves using the handout as aguideline. After the letters are completed, have each participant place his orher letter in an envelope and write his or her name on the envelope. Collect allthe envelopes. At the conclusion of the program, give participants theirenvelopes and have them assess their progress by completing the "Post-Program"sentences.
Tips
With large groups, have small teams of four to seven debrief by discussing thepost-training portion of the handout.
Discussion Questions
1. How were your expectations met today?
2. What are some things you need to work on?
3. What is your plan to improve those skills?
4. What were you surprised to discover?
HANDOUT
Note to Self
Pre-Training
1. What do I need from this training?
________________________________________
________________________________________
2. What are some things I already know about this topic?
________________________________________
________________________________________
3. What do I expect to be able to do that I can't do now?
________________________________________
________________________________________
4. What do I need from the other members of my team?
________________________________________
________________________________________
5. What can I contribute to my team?
________________________________________
________________________________________
Post-Training
1. My expectations were met by ...
________________________________________
________________________________________
2. I need to work on ...
________________________________________
________________________________________
3. I was surprised to discover ...
________________________________________
________________________________________
4. I commit to improving these skills ...
________________________________________
________________________________________
Anything Goes
OBJECTIVES
To engage in conflict
To practice the skills of dialogue
To build consensus
Group Size
Any
Materials
None
Time
10 to 20 minutes
Procedure
This game is a great way for participants to engage in a mini-conflict withanother team member in a non-threatening manner. Ask participants to find apartner. Have each pair stand face to face, right fist out (as in Rock, Paper,Scissors), and say together, "Nothing, something, anything!" Once the wordanything is said, the two participants yell out the name of any itemthey can think of (dog, coffee mug, shoe). After yelling out their items, teammembers must now debate one another as to why their item would "beat" the otherperson's item. Allow about two or three minutes of debate, then call a brieftime-out to discuss the difference between debate and dialogue. After that, havethe team continue with their conversations, only now, encourage team members toengage in dialogue—asking questions and listening to the answers—tocome to an agreement between the two of them.
Tips
The essential difference between debate and dialogue is that true dialogue iscollaborative. Participants are working toward shared understanding and strengthand value in each other's positions. A debate is a discussion with the goal ofpersuading or advocating for their own view, attempting to prove the other sidewrong, and searching for flaws and weaknesses in the other's positions. Indialogue, the intention is to really listen to one another's perspective with awillingness to be influenced by what we hear. Dialogue allows people to developunderstanding for one another's perspectives, thoughts, and feelings as well asto reevaluate their own position in light of the other's understanding. Indialogue, everyone has a chance to be heard, understood, and to learn from eachother.
Discussion Questions
1. How did you react to your mini-conflict?
2. Is this how you normally act in conflict situations? Why or why not?
3. How were you able to come to a consensus?
4. What happened when you switched from debate to dialogue?
5. When someone disagrees with you, do you always stop to ask questions?
6. Is it difficult to listen when someone disagrees with you? Why?
7. What made it easier in this activity?
8. In what ways could you use these skills the next time you're inconflict with another person?
Beach Ball Pass
OBJECTIVES
To work through conflict
To positively take control and devise a plan rather than engage innegative communication and conflict
Group Size
Any
Materials
Inflatable beach ball for each team
Time
15 to 20 minutes
Procedure
Break any large groups into smaller teams of eight to 15. The team begins bystanding in a circle. The facilitator hits the ball into the circle and tellsthe team that they need to hit the ball twice as many times as there are teammembers (eight members need 16 hits). The only rules are that no team member canhit the ball twice in a row, or volley the ball back and forth over and overwith another member.
Because this game is more difficult than it first appears, conflict may eruptearly on as the team realizes this and has to regroup and devise a plan. Oncethe team achieves their goal number of hits, give them the next challenge, whichis to hit the ball an equal number of times as there are team members. This timethere is a new rule: each team member can hit the ball only one time. Eventhough this is a more difficult version, they should be able to build on whatthey have already learned to achieve success without conflict.
Tips
This activity requires some space and is best played outdoors (which can make iteven more difficult due to weather conditions such as wind).
Discussion Questions
1. Was this activity more difficult than you originally thought it would be?
2. If so, did your assumptions lead to any communication challenges orconflict?
3. How did you and your team deal with the conflict?
4. In the second round, the goal was even more difficult. Did youexperience the same communication or conflict challenges as the first round? Whyor why not?
5. In what ways can you apply what you discovered in this game to theworkplace?
Helium Hoop
OBJECTIVES
To experience conflict
To work through conflict to reach a team goal
Group Size
Any
Materials
Lightweight hula hoop for each team (not the kind filled with water)
Time
30 minutes
Procedure
This classic activity is unparalleled in its ability to induce conflict in ateam. Break a large group into smaller teams of about seven (which is usuallythe maximum you can get around a hula hoop). Each team gets a hoop. Demonstratethe hand-holding technique they are required to use during the activity. Haveteam members bend their elbows with their hands out in front of them, palmsfacing in. Then have them close their hands so they are pointing at the personacross the hoop from them. This hand position needs to be maintained for theduration of the activity. This prevents them from grasping the hoop. Place thehoop on top of the team's pointer-fingers to begin.
The goal of the activity is to simply lower the hoop to the ground. Every teammember's fingers must maintain contact with the hoop at all times. If anyoneloses contact or his or her fingers slip off the hoop, the team must assume thestarting position and begin again.
Once the team understands the team goal and the rules, place the hoop in thestarting position and begin. Usually the hoop starts to rise, as if by magic (Ihave even had participants ask me where I get the hoops filled with helium).Conflict ensues as team members, convinced that they are doing it correctly,start to accuse the others on the team of lifting the hoop, making comments suchas, "Who is lifting the hoop?" and "Stop it!" Most teams have to start overquite a few times before they start to address the challenges and take steps toresolve the conflict and attain success.
Tips
This is a good activity to use before Step by Step to have teams reflect onwhat it takes to resolve conflict and be successful.
When you place the hoop on the team's fingers, apply slight downward pressurebefore letting them begin. This helps create the initial upward pressure thatcreates the "helium effect."
Variations
The classic version of this game uses a lightweight pole, with the team standingin two lines facing each other. I prefer the hoop because everyone can easilysee each other, but using the pole is an option.
(Continues...)
(Continues...)Excerpted from The big book of conflict resolution games by Mary Scannell. Copyright © 2010 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.. Excerpted by permission of The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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