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Men, Women and Relationships: Making Peace with the Opposite Sex Paperback – November 12, 2002

by John Gray (Author)
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 120 ratings
See all formats and editions
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The author of #1 international bestseller Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, reveals the key to having a successful relationship

By trying to make our partners over in our own likeness, bestselling author John Gray reminds us that we are destroying what we first found so appealing. In Men, Women And Relationships Dr. Gray demonstrates that only through respecting, appreciating, and responding to our natural differences, can we achieve real happiness and fulfillment in our relationships.

Readers can now discover the simple, practical techniques that will enable them to experience a healthy and supportive love. In addition, Dr. Gray offers valuable insights on:

• How men and women communicate ― and how to understand the signals.

• How each gender copes with stress and deals with conflict.

• Why couples fight during good times.

• And much more!

Read more Read less
Previous page
  1. Print length
    310 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Harper Paperbacks
  4. Publication date
    November 12, 2002
  5. Dimensions
    5.31 x 0.76 x 8 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0060507861
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0060507862
  8. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Men and women are alien species, writes relationship guru Gray in this 1993 forerunner to his bestselling Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus series, now in paperback. Women are emotional, subjective, relationship-oriented and like to talk about feelings, while men are rational, objective, work-oriented and like to withdraw into their "cave" and watch TV. The mutual incomprehension of the sexes leads to friction and conflicted relationships in which women feel neglected and unloved and men feel nagged and smothered. Rather than denying or suppressing their differences, Gray argues, men and women must acknowledge their masculine and feminine essences and learn to understand, tolerate and value the characteristics of the opposite sex. Men must learn to listen sympathetically ("make reassuring responses like 'hmm,' 'uh-huh,' or 'tell me more,'") while women must learn to give men space. Gray often pushes the essentialism too far ("Illness and disease are manifestations of the dark side of our female self") and treads lightly around issues of sexism. But many readers will see elements of truth in these behavioral stereotypes, and Gray has a perfect pitch for the ways in which misunderstandings can escalate into shouting matches and deep-seated marital bitterness. His is a hopeful message that troubled relationships stem from a simple failure to communicate, but it skirts the possibility that there might be deeper sources of conflict between men and women.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From the Back Cover

Men and women are different -- there's no denying it. So why do we constantly expect the same actions and feelings from them? This enormously helpful book not only enables you to recognize the differences between you and your loved one but also leads you toward an acceptance of those differences, thereby paving the way for a stronger relationship.

With his characteristic wit and wisdom, relationship expert John Gray explains the different ways men and women communicate, cope with stress, resolve conflicts, and experience and give love. Once you understand these differences, you'll be better equipped to handle inevitable bumps in the road, and be on your way to a long-lasting and truly loving relationship.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Harper Paperbacks (November 12, 2002)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 310 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0060507861
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0060507862
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 9.1 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.31 x 0.76 x 8 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 120 ratings

About the author

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John Gray

John Gray

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John Gray, Ph.D. is the #1 bestselling relationship author of all time. He is the author of over 20 books, including The New York Times #1 Best-Selling Relationship Book of All Time: MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS. His books have sold over 50 million copies in 50 different languages around the world.

John is a leading internationally recognized expert in the fields of communication and relationships. His unique focus is assisting men and women in understanding, respecting and appreciating their differences. John's advice can be easily used to improve relationships at home and in the workplace.

For more than 35 years, John Gray has conducted public and private seminars for thousands of participants. John entertains and inspires audiences with practical communication techniques. John's mission is for men and women to understand, respect, appreciate and work together.

John Gray is a popular speaker on the national and international lecture circuit and often appears on television and radio programs to discuss his work. He has made guest appearances on such shows as Oprah, The Dr. Oz Show, Good Morning America, The Today Show, The CBS Morning Show, Live with Regis, Fox & Friends Weekend, Good Morning New York, Larry King Live, CNN and Company and many others. He has been profiled in major publications across the United States. John Gray lives with his wife and children in Northern California.

Visit www.MarsVenus.com

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
120 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Chris Morales
5.0 out of 5 stars The knowledge learned in this book is worth more than what the cost of the book is.
Reviewed in the United States on January 18, 2021
Verified Purchase
This book is great and very informative. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is either in a relationship or just wanting to learn more about the opposite sex. This way they are better equipped to be in a position to succeed later on when they meet someone.
One person found this helpful
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5.0 out of 5 stars Recommend
Reviewed in the United States on February 28, 2024
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A. Ortiz
4.0 out of 5 stars Must read for male to female relationships
Reviewed in the United States on June 10, 2010
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This book provides a true map of how to navigate the sexes. A great book for male to female discussions, and it gives excellent insight into the behaviors that people exhibit. An easy, intelligent, great book. Read It!
2 people found this helpful
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Christmas Carol
5.0 out of 5 stars Valuable Information
Reviewed in the United States on November 8, 2015
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I just finished reading this, and my copy is dog-eared and well marked throughout. The author explains how everyone has both masculine and feminine attributes that need to be balanced in order for a person to be centered. When a person is centered, they feel more powerful and loved and are able to complement their spouse better so that the spouse also feels more loved and valued in the relationship. I especially appreciated the part about how men and women react differently to stress (so I'm not crazy after all!). He also gives many examples of the ways husbands and wives unknowingly offend and invalidate each other. Extremely valuable is his "feeling letter technique" which is a tool to enable a person to release resentment and other negative feelings in order to make room for the positive emotions to emerge, allowing one to be the loving, centered person that they truly are.

I talked to a couple people who felt the book was too quick to categorize men and women into boxes...but he actually addresses that argument in the book, saying that everyone is unique and their masculine/feminine traits can cross a whole spectrum. He describes the traits themselves as being masculine or feminine - he is not saying that all men fit in this box and all women fit in another box. The point is that we need to recognize and honor both sides of ourselves.

I have to say that some of the concepts were difficult for me to grasp in a few places where it seemed like the author gravitated to writing like the Ph.D. that he is (then again maybe it's just me); but he made up for it by providing lots of examples. The thing I really did not like about the book is the format - all the headings are given the same weight, even though some should obviously be subheadings, and that makes it a challenge (for people like me) to follow the line of thought and how concepts are connected. I feel the book could be organized a lot better. In fact, I feel like I need to go back and read the first third of the book again, now that I'm aware of that.

Nevertheless, the information I got from this book is so valuable that I give it 5 stars and a high recommendation.
7 people found this helpful
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Mel S
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book on communication techniques
Reviewed in the United States on July 2, 2017
Verified Purchase
This is a great book. It discusses feminine and masculine communication techniques. He addresses in the book that it isn't necessarily a male, female way of communication but rather our feminine and masculine sides that are more developed. This had been a great read in understanding the thought process of my spouse better. And I feel it should be a required read for high school students as this type of communication is never addressed.
One person found this helpful
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Cathy
5.0 out of 5 stars My permanent wedding shower gift
Reviewed in the United States on December 10, 2016
Verified Purchase
Excellent book & an easy read with highly relevant topics. Don't be fooled by its easy read. It is to the point with excellent examples and clarifying points. I gave my previous copy away & just bought a new one because it is now time re-read it. Every couple should read this!
One person found this helpful
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Heidi Lunsford
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it
Reviewed in the United States on January 4, 2014
Verified Purchase
I sometimes felt that I was overreacting to stuff, but now I know my reactions are typical of my gender and to be expected. I am not wrong as my husband would have me think. He is not wrong either, just male and viewing things from his perspective. He thinks something is wrong with me because I don't view things his way. Thank you John Gray for your insights. My next project is to get the male in the family to read the book so we can peacefully coexist. Well worth the money to buy and the time to read.
One person found this helpful
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Morris Crichlow
5.0 out of 5 stars A man recognizes thirst as the feeling he gets when ...
Reviewed in the United States on April 15, 2016
Verified Purchase
A man recognizes thirst as the feeling he gets when he needs water and hunger as the feeling he gets when he needs food. He recognizes fear as needing safety and loneliness as needing people. But we men are lousy at recognizing the feelings we get as connected to not having our relational needs met, for appreciation, acceptance, and trust, and we may not even recognize we need these things. John Gray does, and it's impressive how well he describes the dynamics of what happens when men and women don't get their needs met.
3 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Meghana Atre
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful if rift is widening on wrong footing!
Reviewed in India on December 23, 2018
Verified Purchase
Wonderful, thought provoking, full insight to opposite sex's thinking.
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Tricia
5.0 out of 5 stars Everyone should read this book!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 21, 2015
Verified Purchase
Transformed my relationship over night! It's a book about understanding, and surprisingly taught me more about myself than about my partner. So I personally feel it helped me build a proper relationship with my boyfriend, my friends and family, and even with myself. Simply by understanding what my needs are and other women and men's needs as well. Now I am confident as to why I may feel a certain way in reaction or response to my partner, and because I now know his responses and reactions I can ask/ say what my needs/wants are and visa versa without me being that "nagging" girlfriend, and without him being that "careless" boyfriend... Because ultimately we just want what's best for each other. We just know how to speak to each other now 😆
2 people found this helpful
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carolyn munro
5.0 out of 5 stars We all want a great relationship.
Reviewed in Canada on January 27, 2014
Verified Purchase
John Gray is a wonderful coach for relationships. A great investment even if your relationship is good. He helps to clarify how you feel about men and if you are a man reading the book, it helps men to understand woman better. A must read if you are getting married, it will help to you understand your feelings and how to handle difficult situations in your relationship.
John Gray also has a web site with daily shows about relationships and life. Must see!
One person found this helpful
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J. McMillan
5.0 out of 5 stars wow
Reviewed in Canada on December 28, 2012
Verified Purchase
really helps to understand the opposite sex. I just wish that I could get my husband to read it. Even though he woh't , it still helps me to understand what he is going through and how to deal with the simpliest of day to day situations. It's amazing how the two sexes truly are.
One person found this helpful
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Hanny
5.0 out of 5 stars very good book!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 25, 2013
Verified Purchase
Enjoying to read this book very much. Useful and nicely written. I did buy others book from the author and I never disappointed. Thank you
One person found this helpful
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