The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation »

Melody Beattie, one of the seminal figures in the recovery movement, is the author of the international bestseller Codependent No More, which has sold over eight million copies and been translated into more than a dozen languages. An expert on codependency, Beattie has written fifteen books, including include Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, and The Grief Club, and lectures worldwide. She lives in Southern California. For more information visit her website at www.melodybeattie.com.

In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie introduced the world to the term codependency. Now a modern classic, this book established Beattie as a pioneer in self-help literature and endeared her to millions of readers who longed for healthier relationships. Twenty-five years later concepts such as self-care and setting boundaries have become entrenched in mainstream culture. Now Beattie has written a followup volume, The New Codependency, which clears up misconceptions about codependency, identifies how codependent behavior has changed, and provides a new generation with a road map to wellness.

The question remains: What is and what is not codependency? Beattie here reminds us that much of codependency is normal behavior. It's about crossing lines. There are times we do too much, care too much, feel too little, or overly engage. Feeling resentment after giving is not the same as heartfelt generosity. Narcissism and self-love, enabling and nurturing, and controlling and setting boundaries are not interchangeable terms. In The New Codependency, Beattie explores these differences, effectively invoking her own inspiring story and those of others, to empower us to step out of the victim role forever. Codependency, she shows, is not an illness but rather a series of behaviors that once broken down and analyzed can be successfully combated.

Each section offers an overview of and a series of activities pertaining to a particular behavior -- caretaking, controlling, manipulation, denial, repression, etc. -- enabling us to personalize our own step-bystep guide to wellness. These sections, in conjunction with a series of tests allowing us to assess the level of our codependent behavior, demonstrate that while it may not seem possible now, we have the power to take care of ourselves, no matter what we are experiencing.

Punctuated with Beattie's renowned candor and intuitive wisdom, The New Codependency is an owner's manual to learning to be who we are and gives us the tools necessary to reclaim our lives by renouncing unhealthy practices.

Publishers Weekly

Bestseller Beattie, of Codependent No More fame, revisits the topic she helped introduce more than 15 years ago, armed with more insight and a good deal of new scholarship, revising several old opinions and offering new perspectives on emotional awareness, damaging relationships, and finding genuine mental health in a society so "in touch" that it's run screaming for the pharmaceuticals. Through analogy, quizzes, anecdote and reflective exercises, Beattie promotes careful self-examination, problem-identification and a strategy of surrender, acceptance and processing. Beattie's obvious efforts to improve on her earlier work and wholehearted investment-not to mention timely reminders to seek outside help if needed-illustrate better than any anecdote how she walks the walk, and has important insight for members of the "entitled" generation (lavished with attention by overcompensating parents who were themselves love-starved children of codependency) already used to talking about their feelings, who need a different process to find genuine emotional connection. Though it can be scholarly and repetitive, Beattie's principles and methodology should prove accessible and insightful for most.
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Section 1 Crossing Lines and Getting Back over Them Again

1 Taking Care of Ourselves 1

2 How to Use This Handbook 4

3 What Codependency Is and Isn't 8

4 The New Codependency 11

5 Letting Go of Stigma from the Label 15

Section 2 Breaking Free from the Control Trap and Getting Some Grace

1 The Evolving Art of Self-Care 19

2 Boundaries 24

3 Caretaking 40

4 Chemically Dependent and Codependent 59

5 Communication 78

6 Control 95

7 Denial 103

8 Dependency 105

9 A New Legacy from Our Family of Origin 109

10 Giving and Receiving 115

11 Self-Love Is Contagious 119

12 Manipulation 124

13 Let's Play 129

14 Nurturing 132

15 Obsession 136

16 The Secrets to Power 140

17 Codependency Progression 145

18 Healing What Hurts 148

19 The Freedom to Be Who We Are 151

20 Nonresistance 154

21 Sexual Intimacy and Codependency 157

22 Surrendering Our Way into Grace 168

Section 3 Making a Conscious Connection with Yourself

Emotional Health Quiz 178

Anger Quiz 185

Fear Quiz 192

Drama and Misery Addiction Quiz 198

Guilt Quiz 206

Grief and Loss Quiz 215

Section 4 Catch and Release: It's Only a Feeling

1 Opening Pandora's Box 223

2 Dealing with Feelings 236

3 Fear 240

4 Company Doesn't Love Misery 242

5 Guilt 244

6 The Way to the Heart 250

Section 5 Troubleshooting Guide

1 What to Do When 257

2 How to Find Help for Almost Everything 268