Authors: Jack Riemer (Editor), Sherwin B. Nuland, Sherwin B. Nuland (Editor), Sherwin B. Nuland
ISBN-13: 9780815607335, ISBN-10: 0815607334
Format: Paperback
Publisher: Syracuse University Press
Date Published: April 2002
Edition: 1ST
Jack Riemer is the rabbi of Congregation Beth Tikvah in West Boca Raton, Florida.
As Jack Riemer demonstrates in this collection of Jewish resources for mourning and healing, the Jewish tradition has much to offer those who seek its help in time of need. Here are personal as well as practical writings by contemporary authors about the Shivah period, Kaddish, Yizkor, Yahrzeit, and less familiar practices to honor the dead and comfort the living. Some writers describe new rituals that were created to fill special needs. Others raise questions about the tradition: Do Jews believe in an afterlife? How do we mourn the stillborn child? Should we always strive to prolong life? Reflections on these and other issues related to death and dying make this an indispensable resource for coping with some of life's most difficult and sacred moments.
Acknowledgments | xi | |
Foreword | xv | |
Preface | xix | |
Introduction: Jewish Insights on Death | 3 | |
Part 1 | Answers | 21 |
1. | What I Have Learned from Illness | 23 |
To Wake Up in the Hospital Early in the Morning | 24 | |
Coronary Connections: From a Hospital, Some Secrets of the Heart Revealed | 24 | |
A Wake-up Call | 33 | |
In Praise of Denial | 35 | |
A Small Miracle Happened Here | 37 | |
Charlie and the Angel of Death | 40 | |
2. | When Death Arrives | 48 |
Like Removing a Hair from Milk | 49 | |
Rabbi Salanter's Last Night | 49 | |
Prelude | 50 | |
The Power of Music at the End | 51 | |
Should We Tell the Patient the Truth? | 57 | |
Let Them Know What You Want | 59 | |
The Traditional Vidui | 61 | |
Kayla's Prayer | 62 | |
Saying Goodbye | 68 | |
Letting Go | 73 | |
A Prayer for Health-Care Providers to Offer When a Patient Dies | 78 | |
3. | Hevra Kadisha: The Holy Society | 81 |
A Sacred Duty | 82 | |
The Burial Society | 83 | |
How Tradition Brought One Community to Life | 92 | |
Bubby's Last Gift | 101 | |
4. | The Burial | 108 |
What Rabban Gamliel Did | 108 | |
The Funeral of Franz Josef | 109 | |
Suggestions to Those Who Plan My Funeral | 110 | |
A Rabbi's Ethical Will | 113 | |
No Burden Too Heavy | 118 | |
Keri'ah: The Tearing of the Garment | 121 | |
Why Bury? | 124 | |
How We Bury | 126 | |
Why No Viewing | 127 | |
Why in Tachrichim? | 127 | |
Why Stones Instead of Flowers? | 128 | |
Ha-Makom Yenahem: The Place Gives Comfort | 130 | |
5. | Shivah | 141 |
The First Meal | 142 | |
The Therapeutic Function of Shivah | 142 | |
Who's the Host? Who's the Guest? | 151 | |
The Art of Making a Shivah Call | 152 | |
The Shivah Minyan | 157 | |
Covering Mirrors | 161 | |
Why Psalm 49? | 161 | |
Knitting Up the Tear | 163 | |
6. | Kaddish | 168 |
When Death Comes | 168 | |
A Commentary on the Kaddish | 169 | |
Going to Shul | 172 | |
A Year of Grieving, A Year of Growing | 174 | |
Saying Kaddish: The Making of a "Regular," | 177 | |
7. | The Year and After | 183 |
The Law Sets the Limits | 184 | |
The Five Stages of Grief | 184 | |
Shloshim: The First Thirty Days After Burial | 186 | |
A Way to Mark Shloshim | 191 | |
Yizkor: The Unending Conversation | 194 | |
I Am Older Now: A Yahrzeit Candle Lit at Home | 198 | |
After the Year, What? | 200 | |
Diary of a Young Widow: A Work in Progress | 207 | |
In Many Houses | 219 | |
Name | 220 | |
Part 2 | Questions | 221 |
8. | Is Euthanasia Permitted? | 223 |
Laws Concerning One in a Dying Condition | 224 | |
Rabbi Yehudah's Handmaiden | 224 | |
The Maggid Rediscovers Music | 225 | |
I Want a Choice | 225 | |
Final Entrance | 229 | |
Long-Term Dignity | 233 | |
On Choosing the Hour of Our Death | 237 | |
Death with Dignity vs. Euthanasia | 244 | |
Not Through Yet | 257 | |
9. | How Shall We Mourn the Stillborn? | 260 |
A Yizkor Prayer for Stillborn and Infant Deaths | 261 | |
I Lost a Child But Did Not Mourn Her | 262 | |
Neonatal Death | 265 | |
Baby Brother's Gone to Heaven | 268 | |
Three Responses to Miscarriage | 271 | |
Faith Learns to Fill a Need | 277 | |
10. | How Does One Survive the Loss of Children? | 280 |
The Story of Rabbi Meir and Beruriah | 283 | |
Plutarch to His Wife After the Loss of Their Child | 284 | |
Not on Merit, But on Mazal | 284 | |
We Will Get Better, We Must Get Better | 285 | |
On Being the Kaddish | 297 | |
Firepower in Mitzvot | 304 | |
11. | Do We Believe in an Afterlife? | 309 |
In the World-to-Come | 311 | |
The Birth | 311 | |
The Ship | 313 | |
Is There Life After Death? | 313 | |
Permission to Believe | 328 | |
The Here and the Hereafter | 335 | |
The Fate of the Soul | 338 | |
Love As Strong As Death | 348 | |
Where Does It End? | 352 | |
12. | What Do We Need Death For? | 354 |
Contributors | 361 | |
Permissions Acknowledgments | 369 |